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Say what you like about Nicola Sturgeon but she’s consistent. Every autumn, when she sets out her programme for government, the First Minister makes the same pledge: 'We will make it a priority to improve the educational outcomes of pupils in the most disadvantaged areas of Scotland… a targeted approach to attainment that will help children across Scotland—especially those in our disadvantaged areas.’ — November 2014 'Improving school attainment is arguably the single most important objective in this programme for government. Improving it overall and closing the gap between children in our most and least deprived areas is fundamental to our aim of making Scotland fairer and more prosperous.

I don’t know where people get the idea the SNP is intolerant of criticism. Scotland’s most open-minded party has released a new video that appears to be an attack on one of its critics dressed up as a party political broadcast. The video depicts a group of thirtysomethings gathered for a house party. They are Scottish but improbably so, smiling excessively and expressing enthusiasm for life. A couple of latecomers are warned that ‘Davey’ is in the kitchen ‘bangin’ on about politics again’ and soon we are introduced to a cartoonish party bore. Stuffy, bespectacled Davey is the wrong side of 40 but sports a hipster-trad three-piece and Brooklyn-worthy beard in the hope of passing himself off as a millennial.

Since arriving in Parliament in 2015, Mhairi Black has caused a stir in Westminster. The 23-year-old SNP MP rarely misses the chance to criticise the place – whether it's the 'old and defunct' systems and procedures or the 'sociopaths' that inhabit it. Now it seems that not even her own party is beyond criticism. In an interview with Holyrood magazine, Black recalls an incident involving Alex Salmond, then an SNP MP. The party veteran took Black to lunch in a Commons restaurant, where he offered her some fashion advice: 'I was just sitting chatting away to him and the whole time I’m thinking, what’s the point of this meant to be – is this a date, do I need to come out to Alex Salmond?

It's remarkable how quickly tribalism can capture people. Three years ago, only a small number of politicians and commentators advocated leaving the European Union. Reform it, yes; complain about it, always. But actually quit? That was a Ukip cause. But now a lot of people, having drunk the Brexit brew, are quite heady. It's not just that they have been converted to the Brexit cause, it's that they can't see how anyone sensible could disagree with it - or them. They belong to a new tribe: the Brexiteers. And any problems in their project are immediately blamed on the others. Listen to the arguments now. The Brexiteers are not to blame for an EU divorce bill many times their estimates -- the Europeans are.

It’s quiet up in Scotland at the minute. We’ve not tried to secede in a few months, some MSPs are away pursuing reality TV careers, and Nicola Sturgeon is still deciding the best punishment for parents that smack their recalcitrant offspring. The downside is that when things are quiet, some geyser of nationalist lunacy inevitably explodes. Step forward, Eddi Reader — folk musician, celebrity separatist, and the first of what are bound to be countless victims of the burgeoning police state. She announced to her Twitter followers: ‘When I was stopped in Glasgow two days ago (MOT ran out) the sight of the policeman and the Union Jack on his jacket made me fear he was an anti-indy man and if he recognised me I didn’t feel okay about that.

Although it's widely accepted that Theresa May's decision to call a snap election was disastrous, one of the few upshots for the Tories was that it managed to stave off calls from the SNP for a second independence referendum. Alas, whoever is running the Prime Minister's Twitter account doesn't appear to be on the same page when it comes to preserving the 'precious union'. Following May's meeting with Nicola Sturgeon, the Prime Minister tweeted that 'the UK and Scotland must continue to work together to ensure businesses and consumers have the certainty they need as we leave the EU'. Only there's a problem. Unless Nicola Sturgeon gets her wish for independence, Scotland is – and will remain – part of the United Kingdom.

Oh dear. Although John Bercow has a penchant for winding up Conservative MPs in the Chamber, he also has a habit of taking the SNP to task for failing to grasp Westminster etiquette. However, today he adopted a rather different approach. During questions after Theresa May's statement on the EU Council summit, the Speaker appeared to have an odd turn. Calling the SNP's Alan Brown to speak, Bercow attempted a Scottish accent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt2HALDW5a8 Mr S recommends he leaves it to the Scots next time...

Who would want an MP who had never had a career outside of politics to represent them? That's the question Mhairi Black has been asking today at SNP conference. Black used her speech at the event to say the SNP must reject 'career politicians'. Hang on a minute. Given that the 23-year-old SNP politician went straight from a politics degree to a job in Westminster, isn't she the definition of a 'career politician'? Mr S hopes she isn't trying to put herself out of a job...

The SNP's Fiona Hyslop is not an obvious candidate to lead a cultural revolution. The Scottish Government's Cabinet Secretary for Culture, Tourism and External Affairs is more Nicola Murray than Nicola Sturgeon. Hyslop has a permanent look of terror that someone might ask her a question but she’s harmless enough. Stick a few flags and a bowl of borscht in her office and tell her she’s at the UN and she’d be happy enough. Yes, she’s a bit clueless, pretty forgettable and has achieved almost nothing in eight years but it could be worse; she could be Mike Russell.  That’s why I’m not terribly worried about the latest tussle between the notions in her head and the outside world. To be sure, there is a chilling ring to the words.

A report suggesting that the £414m Scottish Parliament building could reach the end of its 'useful life' by 2060 - after just 45 years - provides the perfect metaphor for the state of devolution in 2017: a parliament that has been noticeably reluctant to use its powers in the last decade slapped with a ‘use by’ date. Irony can be awfully cutesy at times. The Scottish Parliament's problems don't begin and end with its building though. A poll by Panelbase gave voters an opportunity to declare themselves scunnered with the whole enterprise of devolution. Asked if, instead of independence or the status quo, they would rather shutter Holyrood tomorrow, 19 per cent of Scots said they are up for a return to direct rule from Westminster.

Could an Englishman ever be First Minister of Scotland? That's the question the Scottish Labour party are having to grapple with this week after Richard Leonard announced his candidacy to succeed Kezia Dugdale as leader. A former trade union organiser and chair of Scottish Labour's executive, Leonard sounds like the perfect Corbyn candidate – until you get to the fact that he is also English. Leonard's opponents have been quick to jump on his nationality – briefing out that his English heritage is no small fry. They claim his Yorkshire accent could make it 'hard' for him to 'connect' with the people the party must win over to increase their vote share. One opponent goes so far as to say that picking an Englishman would be 'disastrous'.

Nicola Sturgeon is invariably at her most persuasive best when she puts partisanship to one side and emphasises that, in addition to leading the Scottish National Party, she is also first minister of Scotland. Occasions such as yesterday, when she outlined her programme for government, give her that opportunity to shine. In place of boastfulness, there was modesty; in place of gurning about what she could not do, there was a refreshing emphasis on what she could. It was a speech tacitly admitting the truth of admissions made by former SNP ministers that during the referendum years the party allowed itself to be distracted by independence at the expense of ambitious government on the domestic front.

Ever since the snap election, Jeremy Corbyn has been in campaign mode – claiming Theresa May's minority government is on the verge of collapse and that there will be another election within months. Tomorrow, the Labour leader kicks off a summer tour of Scotland, which he claims 'holds the keys' to getting his party back in power: 'We have stayed on an election footing all summer, and nowhere is more important to delivering another Labour government than Scotland. The only way to deliver the truly radical change that Scotland needs is to back Labour in Scotland.' Much to the upset of the Nats, the 18 seats Corbyn will be targeting on the trip are all held by the SNP – rather than the common enemy of the Tories.

It is August and, except in Washington and Pyongyang, the square root of heehaw is happening. This poses certain difficulties for the residents of Grub Street. Desperate times call for desperate measures and if that means burning your hot take then so be it.  Hence the recent proliferation of articles claiming that Scottish nationalism is on the brink of extinction, undone by internecine feuding and subject to the implacable laws of diminishing returns.