Culture

Rationing Mammon emaciates the Muses. Plato knew it, and so does Polly Toynbee: it’s just simple cause and effect. And government cuts tend to be cyclical: seven fat years of abundance are invariably followed by lean years of famine. Unlike health and overseas development, the arts seem to have no divine right of exemption from the fiscal straitjacket presently being strapped around other departments of state: it is undeniably politically easier to cut Northern Ballet than hospital beds or malaria nets. But the suggestion that a reduction of £150 million amounts to little more than a slight nip‘n’tuck in a very fleshy sector is a little misleading.

What is it about the British and flag waving? I ask after watching last night's superlative BBC Proms, a brilliant end to the best season for years. On HD and wired to the hifi, it was all the better. As the end approached, my Czech mother-in-law asked: if this is Britain's flagship musical event, why are there so many foreign flags? It's hard to explain. Britain has a mutating relationship with flags and nationality. Twenty years ago, the Union flag was used in England matches, then devolution came and the St George's cross made an emphatic comeback. I'm sure I saw a Cornish flag last night, and at least one Saltire, so part of it is regionalisation.

New government statistics show that libraries are less popular than ever, with a drop over 5 years of nearly one-third in the number who visit them. Over 60 percent of adults do not use them even once a year. Libraries seem vulnerable. With government striving to make economies and councils made to cut budgets, libraries could see their spending cut dramatically. Libraries face a downward spiral in which councils try to make savings by cutting hours, letting some staff go, and closing some facilities altogether. Libraries then become less convenient to use, and usage figures decline even further. There are alternatives. Although libraries mostly loan popular bestsellers and do-it-yourself books to adults, they also introduce children into the world of reading.

If you tire quickly of the tediously lengthy build up to Christmas, which starts about now, then heaven help you in dealing with two years of hyperbole about the 2012 Olympics. Even the most enthusiastic synchronised swimming fan will find it hard to imagine that the actual event will live up to the billing. And as a keen follower of sport (well, proper sport like football or motor racing), I hope that the London Olympics absolutely bomb.   I want half empty stadia, feeble athletic performances (particularly from British competitors) and embarrassingly low television viewing figures.

While we’re talking about countries on the brink, it’s worth taking a look at Greece – which has probably passed beyond it.  The government has published its package of austerity measures – aiming to reduce its deficit to 8.7 percent of GDP by the end of 2010 – and the markets are deciding what they think. But, in the meantime, the country faces strikes; the Euro is taking a pummeling; there are fears that problems may spread to countries like Portugal and Spain; and Greek foreign policy – particularly with regard to Macedonia and the Balkans – is stalling.  Nobody is through the woods yet. All this mean that George Papandreou's problems are also the EU's problem.

The next time your four year old nephew smears chocolate over your trousers you are to congratulate him. According to government guidance, soon to be issued to nurseries by Dawn Primarolo, the glibly smirking illiterate would have been writing.  Yesterday’s Independent reported that in response to evidence that the gender gap between children under the age of five has widened in writing, problem-solving and personal development, the government believe that boys should work harder.  This seemingly impossible task will be eased by ‘making learning fun’: boys will be allowed to graffiti any given surface with chocolate and coloured sand.   What a way to begin the new decade: by creating a mass of juvenile Banksies.

Big Brother is dead. This is terrific news – particularly if you’re one of those morbid hacks who specialise in articles lamenting ‘the excessive trivialisation of our culture’. Even now the long dreary ‘think-pieces’ are being commissioned for the Sunday papers. We all know what they’ll say. Big Brother (born 2000, died 2010, RIP) is responsible for creating the great scourge of modern culture, the noodle-brained, cross-eyed, half-witted celebrity. The ‘bad’ celebrity, in other words, of whom Jade Goody, (a BB graduate) is the outstanding examplar.

Truth is indeed often stranger than fiction. It appears Big Brother is not just watching our every move but has also infiltrated our bodies. Speaking to a cranial surgeon over the weekend, I was fascinated to discover that most of our replaced, repaired or “surgically-enhanced” body parts are now bar-coded and given serial numbers - just like supermarket goods or a improbable plot devised by Ira Levin. Jasmine Fiore - the former Playboy model allegedly murdered by her boyfriend Ryan Alexander Jenkins - was recently identified by her breast implants. Her teeth had been forcibly removed, yet this did not deter detectives from their investigation. For those who strongly object to the government holding DNA records, the writing is on the wall: there is no escape.

Been meaning to post all day a hat-tip to our very own Alex James who - before he was a Spectator columnist and celebrated cheese-maker - used to play the bass in a rather successful little group called Blur. Last night, reunited and re-energised, they played their final UK gig in Hyde Park. And, whether or not you were around first time to enjoy these great songs, it really was rather special. From the opening chords of "She's So High", it was clear that the band which defined "Cool Britannia" do not intend to fade into obsolescence with that New Labour-infected moment, nor to go through the motions like a nostalgia act, reforming occasionally to ensure an annual pay day from their grown-up and now-professional fanbase. They still mean business, thank God.