Climate change

So, Greta Thunberg has declared her intention to sail to New York for the UN climate summit on a hi-tech eco-friendly racing yacht. The boat is owned by German property developer, Gerhard Senft, is based in Brittany and sponsored by the Yacht Club de Monaco. It has been fitted with solar panels and underwater turbines to generate zero-carbon electricity on-board. Greta’s transport will produce zero-emissions and is the ultimate carbon-neutral solution to long-distance journeys...or so she hopes. Greta has long been a foe of mine ever since she messed with my plans to wreak havoc by insisting that my school take part in a strike for climate change awareness. From that day forth I swore vengeance.

Greta Thunberg first came to my attention one Friday after I had spent the final hour of school putting cling-film over every toilet seat so that the following Monday, students and teachers would find themselves in a horrible mess when it came to do potty-time. The next week however, Greta encouraged the other children to join her in a strike, the purpose of which was to demand the Swedish government take steps to reduce carbon emissions. While this was going on, the school caretaker discovered my plan, and undid all my hard work. Curses. I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for Greta and that pesky janitor. From that day, I swore revenge.

Listening to Greta Thunberg, an articulate 16-year-old girl who feels passionately about climate change issues, I am astounded that our political leaders have not yet taken steps to relocate the entire human race to Mars. She makes it very clear that unless we all drastically change our ways, the world as we know it will end in the next two or three years. I for one, believe her. Americans may not be aware of Greta yet, even though she’s listed on the 2019 TIME 100 but it is imperative that we help this modern-day Swedish Cassandra to spread the word of our impending doom as far as possible. I spent the bank holiday Easter weekend digging a hole in my garden in order to install an underground bunker.