Latest Tory leadership election
‘You have seven seconds on the Liz Truss premiership, starting now…’
‘Sorry kids, we’ve had to cut out all treats this year.’
‘I suppose this means he’ll be working from home…’
‘That’s one area they could make some efficiency savings…’
‘What’s this about you not having the opinions of someone in their twenties?’
‘All we have to do is reverse everything.’
‘We’re off to Italy for a spot of political stability.’
‘I got an out-of-office email from the PM.’
‘This is a stick-up.’
‘Waiter, there’s a Van Gogh in my soup.’
‘Geoff will now talk to us about energy efficiency.’
‘I’m anti-growth.’
‘I’ll just test your blood pressure.’
‘Oh, I’m just at home trying to save energy.’