A shade over three decades ago, Gary Barlow and Take That sang ‘Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it, I want you back for good’. ‘Back for Good’ has traditionally been taken to be a song about someone wanting their loved one back after a breakup. However, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex clearly listened to it on whatever easy listening channel they tune into in Montecito and decided that this is not simply Gary Barlow’s lovelorn lament but the earnest desire of the British people to have them return to us.
Therefore, Meghan and Harry have announced that they will be returning to Britain. Not for a visit of a few days, as has happened in recent weeks, or even for a more protracted period. No, Harry, Meghan, Archie and Lilibet will – if newspaper reports are to be believed – be back for good. Let joy be unconfined!
This is, to put it mildly, a bombshell announcement
The stories in the newspapers seemed so bizarre that I had to check that it wasn’t April Fool’s Day, but both the Sun and the Daily Telegraph have the same scoop. (Pedants might argue that it isn’t a proper scoop if it’s in multiple papers, but the Sussexes have never discriminated in their briefings.) The narrative is that the family will be retaining their Californian home but will be moving to a non-royal residence next month (next month!) with a view to having Archie and Lilibet educated in England. While Harry and Meghan will not be resuming their previous life as working royals, they are hoping to build on the rapprochement that they established with the King recently and allow him to see a great deal more of his grandchildren, and indeed his younger son, in the future.
This is, to put it mildly, a bombshell announcement. It is also uncertain as to whether this has been a carefully planned initiative (‘Mentry’?) or simply something decided on the hoof to attract as much publicity as it undoubtedly will. That it makes a mockery of Harry’s many, many statements of how he will never live in Britain ever again because it isn’t safe for his family, or indeed the lengthy and expensive legal battles that he has fought to obtain security for Brand Sussex on their supposed returns to his native country, is not the point of the revelation. Instead, as with the original Megxit, the publication of Spare, the Oprah Winfrey interview, the suggestions of royal racism and everything else that the dynamic duo have done ad nauseam, it is a dramatic statement that will attract worldwide attention for the coming days and weeks.
It is too early to even begin to imagine what the practical import of this news will be. I wondered if the stories were a shot in the dark – perhaps wishful thinking on the part of a royal correspondent who wanted a rich seam of stories over the next few years. But I have been told that, yes, Harry and Meghan really are coming back to Britain, a country that both of them have repeatedly decried from their Californian exile, and that they will be ready to add to the gaiety of nations, or at least this nation, all over again.
As usual, the devil is in the detail. Apparently the King was informed a few days ago (and was said to be ‘naturally pleased’ by the news, not least because he will now see more of his grandchildren), as were the Prince and Princess of Wales.
It is tempting to imagine that William, who is wholly estranged from his younger brother, will have reacted to the revelations with a mixture of disbelief and fury. If it is the case that the Sussexes have returned to Britain in order for their children to be educated in the traditional English fashion, then Prince George and Prince Archie are unlikely to cross over at Eton. But if Prince Louis also heads to the royals’ school of choice, there is an excellent chance that the youngest Wales will overlap with his cousin – assuming, of course, that Harry believes his alma mater is good enough for his son.
It also goes without saying that the many disobliging comments that the Duke of Sussex has made about other members of his family, not least his stepmother, have also not been forgotten or forgiven. Fasten your seatbelts, Windsors: you are in for the bumpiest of rides.
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