Q. I have the sort of job that means I am regularly recruiting new young talent. Now when I go to parties I am besieged by friends, and friends of friends, looking for jobs for their graduate offspring. I am sympathetic but currently have no vacancies. How, without employing an equerry, can I discourage these approaches? – Name and address withheld
A. Stay out of the mêlée of the party and instead stand unobtrusively near the entrance door with your back facing guests coming in. You can then call to people to whom you wish to speak as they pass you and filter favoured others as they are leaving. With any luck the jobseekers will only spy you as they leave, and will not wish to lose the Uber which is waiting for them by holding themselves up to have a chat with you.
Q. I met up for lunch with two friends from my early days in London as a young Sloane Ranger. These two are now both multimillionaires. I was astounded when they suggested we split the bill three ways. I’d had a mozzarella and tomato salad and a glass of tap water, while they’d had three courses and good wine. I had to rush back to work – I still work in a low-paid job, which they both know. I can only think that in their minds they were reverting back to when we were all broke. How can I make sure this doesn’t happen again, as it is so embarrassing?
– F.J., London SW18
A. The next time you go to lunch with these friends, say to the waiter that you insist on having your own bill as you are going to eat and drink far more than the others. Obviously you don’t have to eat and drink far more, but it means that when the bills come, they will not be absent-minded and you will not have to subsidise their excess.
Q. My son identifies as cool/casual and he recently wore a pair of black trainers with a morning suit. He’s 30 and contra-suggestible, so how can I persuade him to wear proper shoes to the many weddings he’s been invited to this year? My husband and I are not snobs, but morning suit and trainers are just not a good look.
– Name and address withheld
A. Peep inside his trainers for the make and model, buy your husband an identical pair and photograph him wearing them with a morning suit. Show the son the image without going into details as to where your husband wore the ensemble. It is likely that your son will be so mortified that his father is now wearing trainers with a morning suit that he will realise the trainers are not a good way of signalling that he is casual or cool, and he will revert to ‘proper’ footwear.
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