Andy Burnham became Britain’s Prime Minister today – the seventh leader of the country in the last decade. It is a case of all hail the new messiah, who promises to build “a new politics” (the eternal empty vow of every politician when taking power), but this time with a shiny new twist.
Burnham, who oozes a desperate desire to be liked, will lead a government focused on good vibes and the fantasy of a mythical Labour paradise lost, rather than anything grounded in the harsh political realities of today. His approach to power boils down to trusting his instincts (those vibes, again), based on the delusion that he has a special connection with ordinary voters. Difficulties, and there are plenty obvious to those with eyes to see, will be wished away with a broad smile and a flutter of those famous eyelashes. The mission is to jolly people along and make them feel better about life. Hope will butter the nation’s bread in Burnham land.
Burnham, who oozes a desperate desire to be liked, will lead a government focused on good vibes and the fantasy of a mythical Labour paradise lost
This substance-light approach has led to growing chaos and confusion even before Burnham has walked through the door of No. 10. The challenges ahead are serious enough but his verbal incoherence only muddies the waters. He has said the government needs to be “serious about putting more money back in people’s pockets.” It’s the kind of thing he loves to say because it sounds so, well, nice and unobjectionable, but he hasn’t said how and where he will find the money.
Our new leader keeps insisting he has “a plan”, without actually bothering to tell the public what it is. No one knows, for example, how he proposes to fund the £7.4 billion hole in the defense investment plans. Thames Water, Britain’s biggest water company, is expected to be put in special administration (potentially costing taxpayers as much £2 billion) in one of his first acts as PM, but no light has been shed on how this will work. The jury is out on whether bringing utilities back into some form of public ownership will bring down customers’ bills. No matter; it is all about spreading the joy.
The contradictions are everywhere evident. Burnham has promised to undo Thatcherism and the “neoliberalism” of the last four decades – but where is the wider democratic mandate for such sweeping changes? He wants to build a new generation of council homes. He is keen also to fix social care. There is no mention of how this will be paid for. The magic money tree has become a forest.
At the same time as setting out a left-wing, anti-capitalist vision for Britain (short on actual detail but rich in vibes), the new PM insists that he will be “pro-business.” No prizes for pointing out that he has yet to explain how he will square this particular circle. Burnham says he wants to put an end to Westminster “finger-pointing” and focus on “problem-solving” by reaching out to other parties. But at the same time, he wants to be “authentically Labour.” What does any of this actually mean? To govern is to choose but the incoming PM prefers life in the feel-good zone and shies away from hard choices. Being all things to all people is his political brand.
Another telling moment in which fantasy jarred with reality was his dad-dancing on stage (to the song “True Faith” by Manchester band New Order) after being announced as the new leader of the Labour party on Friday. It was self-indulgent, to say the least. At that very moment, a short distance away in Westminster, ministers and officials were holding a COBRA emergency meeting to discuss the latest developments in the unraveling Middle East ceasefire deal between the US and Iran, and the potential economic repercussions for Britain. Tellingly, Burnham didn’t mention the Middle East in his speech, maybe because he has never shown any real interest in foreign affairs during a long political career. This does not bode well at a time of multiple international crises. He will quickly find that singing Kumbaya won’t cut it.
Burnham has been accused of prioritizing his northwest heartland with plans for a new No. 10 North in Manchester. Not so. “I will govern for the north, south, east and west,” he declared. That’s another contentious issue simply vibed away. No one will be surprised to learn that he is expected to spend the latter part of his first week in office in Manchester, rather than in the east or west of the country. Rather revealing of the new PM’s mindset is his laughable claim that he gets some of his best ideas by popping into Greggs to listen to conversations. “I hear things,” he said, in true Mystic Meg fashion. Seriously?
More broadly, only a handful of close allies have the privilege of knowing what vibes are coursing through the new Prime Minister at any particular moment, and how to divine what it means for the political path ahead. Everyone else, including senior ministers and civil servants, is left fumbling in the dark. Reality beckons from today. Labour, two years into government and one PM down, seems hellbent on continuing its mad laboratory experiment in testing to destruction the patience of voters desperate for real change. Burnham’s new government might be described as dangerously high on its own supply. God help the rest of us.
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