If the great Rod Liddle was a satirist, as many columnists have suggested, he was not one in the Roman tradition. They invented satire, which often worked by contrasting a corrupt Rome with the golden years of the past.
But Rod was a political animal, like the Athenian comedian Aristophanes (5th C bc), whose plays attacked the living, like Socrates, and even his audience, if he felt they were being too easily deceived by politicians he hated, such as Cleon.
In 424 bc, he imagined the Athenian state as a household, headed up by Dêmos (‘The People’). Dêmos is served by two slaves (= politicians), who are fed up that a foul-mouthed new slave, Bullshitter (Cleon), has taken total control of their master.
But they find an oracle saying that Bullshitter will be displaced by a Tripe-Seller, i.e. someone who will outdo Bullshitter in the revolting behaviour the Dêmos appreciate. So they find one, telling him he will become great. ‘T-S: But I don’t deserve to be great. Slave: What do you mean, not deserve to be great? Not got any secret virtues on your conscience, have you? I mean, you’re not of good birth, are you? T-S: Blimey, no! Scum of the earth, me. Slave: Best thing that can happen to anyone who wants a future in politics. T-S: But ’ang on. I ’ardly bin to school. I got no learning. I can only just abaht read and write. Slave: Shame – much better if you couldn’t. Look, you don’t think politics is for the educated or anyone of good character, do you? No, it’s for illiterate oafs like you!’
Dêmos demands a contest between Bullshitter and Tripe-seller, revelling in their obscene, grotesque and fawning exchanges. (‘O Dêmos, when you blow your nose, please wipe your fingers on my head.’ ‘No, on mine.’) The Tripe-seller wins, telling Dêmos that, however brilliant he is at home, he turns into a gaping idiot in the Assembly. The contrite Dêmos agrees to reform. The play won the comic prize. But a few weeks later, the people in Assembly elected Cleon to a top executive position. How Rod would have laughed.
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