Q. When I left university I set up a WhatsApp group with several male friends to cover our interest in flat racing and to share tips and articles on trainers etc. Since then two group members have married and asked me to add their wives, which I felt obliged to do. Sorry to say this but the wives have dumbed down the whole group with their annoying comments. I suspect another member will soon be asking me to add his partner. I want to put a message on saying the vibe has changed and let’s revert to the original members, but how can I do it tactfully?
– Name and address withheld
A. No need to say anything. Simply start another WhatsApp group, adding only the original members and just start posting. They will get the message and you can quietly go back to enjoying each other’s data while leaving the newbies, who take the subject less seriously, free to carry on dumbing down.
Q. I dated someone intensely for three months and it seemed to be going really well before he dumped me. I hear he is now sorry and would like to get me back. It seems he is too proud to do anything about it. Since I would like to get back with him, do you have any ideas?
– C.M.B., London SE11
A. You could open talks by having a Deliveroo of a delicious dinner sent to his house, as though the app has directed it there mistakenly, because it was once an address to which your account ordered food. He will then have to communicate to signal the food’s arrival, and you can suggest that perhaps he would like to bring it to your house, where you could eat it together.
Q. A couple of weeks ago
friends took us to Les Liaisons Dangereuses at the National Theatre. A few days later we went to see Hamlet in Canterbury. I now realise I have written thanking for Hamlet those who took us to Liaisons, – and to make matters worse I made up for lateness with profuseness, with a Pseud’s Corner review of Hamlet. How do I get out of this hole?
– R.O., North Kent
A. Send a follow-up letter explaining this comedy of errors. You realise you may have clumsily expressed a conceit that, thanks to their kind exposure of you to the genius of Choderlos de Laclos, you were prompted to again seek out dramatic stimulation that same week. Hence you had gone to Hamlet and, as they were responsible for your heightened interest in genius, they deserved to be thanked. Unfortunately the conceit backfired as you got carried away and failed to thank them for the delight you experienced at the National.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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