Alexander Larman

Alexander Larman is an author and the US books editor of The Spectator.

Joe Biden’s memoir will humiliate him

Just before writing this piece, I saw Gary Oldman in a London production of Samuel Beckett’s Krapp’s Last Tape. For those unfamiliar, the play revolves around an old man listening to a series of tapes recorded by himself when he was younger, musing pompously on his hopes and dreams for the future. In his present, desiccated state, he can only scoff at his middle-aged self, before being overcome by the pathetic realization that it is all up for him and that he is doomed to a miserable, unhappy future. It is hard to think of ten people who will want to read the book, let alone ten million I suspect that much the same has been going on in Joe Biden’s household of late. If, of course he still knows what day of the week it is, or what his name is.

Biden

Does The Odyssey confirm that Christopher Nolan is camp?

Sir Christopher Nolan is many things. The Spielberg/Lucas/Cameron manqué of our time. A double Oscar-winner for Oppenheimer, a picture that is nowhere near his best work. The most acclaimed director of film bros, who somehow ignore his standing as a white, British privately educated filmmaker. But what nobody has ever seriously asked before is “Is Sir Christopher camp?” I hesitate to say that. The (relatively) newly knighted director is as serious a figure as has ever been seen in the film industry. But after watching the new trailer for his magnum opus, The Odyssey, it is a question that I must ask. We have Good Will Hunting himself, Matt Damon, as Nolan’s conception of Odysseus. All good there; I myself would have cast Michael Fassbender, but hey-ho.

odyssey

Britain would never host the Met Gala

From our UK edition

So, the Met Gala has rolled around again, with the predictability of death, taxes and the knowledge that some of the world’s most tedious celebrities will be photographed wearing some frankly bizarre outfits. As with the Oscars, the gala is a display of how deeply unfair it is to be a woman at these events. Men turn up, traditionally, in inoffensive displays of black tie, although this year’s theme of ‘costume art’ saw Colman Domingo appear in what looked like a Wetherspoons carpet and the 32-year-old Bad Bunny decided to anticipate old age by dressing like a man in his late seventies, complete with silver hair and grandfather make-up. God knows why.

Should the Princess Diana tapes be released?

From our UK edition

As King Charles returns to Britain this weekend, secure in the knowledge that his state visit to the United States has been a great diplomatic success, he is also heading back into renewed controversy when it comes to his family. For once, this has nothing to do with his errant younger brother, or even his wayward younger son – who, of course, he did not see while he was in America. Instead, a three-part documentary series, Diana: The Unheard Truth, will be broadcasting previously unheard tapes, courtesy of her friend Dr James Colthurst, when it is aired on 31 August 2027: 30 years after her premature death. Charles is no stranger to the embarrassment caused by amateur recordings Charles is, of course, no stranger to the embarrassment caused by amateur recordings.

Meet the Middletons – 15 years on

From our UK edition

This week has seen Prince William and Catherine Middleton celebrate 15 years of marriage, with the occasion marked by a suitably heartwarming family photograph of them and their children on holiday in Cornwall. Theirs has been a union that has generally received a good press, bar the odd salacious rumour about what William gets up to in Norfolk and near-constant speculation about Kate’s weight and appearance. However, her revelation two years ago that she was suffering from cancer led to a wave of public sympathy that has suggested that she, not Meghan, is the true heir to the compassionate, grounded legacy of Princess Diana.   If only the same might be said of the rest of her family.

Charles III delights ‘No Kings’ Democrats

President Trump lavished praise upon King Charles from the Oval Office at the outset of his four-day state visit to the United States. He called the monarch “a man of class” and said “it’s great to have a king in here”. A conspicuous absence of “No Kings” protests in the presence of a real king had not gone unnoticed. But it was Charles’s address to a joint session of Congress that was eagerly awaited on both sides of the Atlantic. His most substantial public speech since he acceded the throne in September 2022, there was a good deal riding on its success. His mother had addressed Congress in May 1991. Her text was an uncontroversial message of “collaboration and respect” between the two nations.

King Charles

Waitrose must leave bad taste in the Eighties

From our UK edition

Should you visit your local Waitrose store this week – and hope you don’t witness an altercation between a shoplifter and a member of staff about to be fired for doing his job – you might be surprised by a new range of products. In what the company is calling ‘a vibrant, decadent celebration of pure noshtalgia’, Waitrose has launched a series of 80s-themed foods. These include everything from Scotch egg sandwiches and steak Diane-flavoured crisps to rhubarb and custard ice cream and – horror of horrors – ‘peach melba spritz’, which its blurb describes as ‘a delicious blend of juicy peach and ripe raspberry, lifted with sparkling crisp bubbles for a beautifully balanced summer spritz’.

Gordon Ramsay and the tyranny of the restaurant service charge

From our UK edition

The news that Gordon Ramsay – that most self-publicising of restaurateurs – has increased service charges at his Lucky Cat restaurant in the City should strike terror into anyone who cares about the future of the hospitality industry. Ramsay introduced a 20 per cent charge, rather than the industry standard of 12.5 per cent or (increasingly) 15 per cent, for the seasonal special menus that the restaurant offered last year. The chef – who claims to have invested £20 million of his own money into the Asian-influenced restaurant – has also stated publicly of Lucky Cat, that ‘if it was to fail, I’m fucked.

What Prince Harry has in common with Boris Johnson

From our UK edition

It has, on balance, been one of Prince Harry's busier fortnights in recent times. As if to upstage his father’s state visit to the United States next week – surely not! – he has not only been on his own quasi-royal tour of Australia with his wife, but he has also popped over to Ukraine. There he sternly announced that he was visiting 'not as a politician, but as a humanitarian and a soldier who understands service.' It was in Ukraine that Harry made remarks about how his adopted country of America should uphold its 'international treaty obligations', given its 'enduring role in global security'. Although he did not make any explicitly disparaging remarks about Donald Trump, the implication was quite clear.

Russell Brand is everything that is wrong with the world

There are few stranger public careers than that of Russell Brand, the former ‘comedian’ turned MAGA cheerleader-in-chief. He has given an interview to Tucker Carlson, another figure who has been on his own peculiar journey, and has announced his intention of running for Mayor of London in 2028, on a vaguely defined but somehow sinister platform that includes ‘pragmatic’ democracy for ‘people who live in London, who love London’. He is the strutting, peacocking representation of all that is wrong in contemporary society Brand has railed against most of Sadiq Khan’s innovations, asking: ‘Do you want Ulez cameras? Do you want congestion charges? Do you want this type of policing where people are arrested for Facebook posts?

The Michael Jackson biopic ignores half his life

If you’re planning on making a biopic of a major musical figure, you would be advised not to miss out various rather vital aspects of their life. For instance, Bohemian Rhapsody dealt – if at times obliquely – with Freddie Mercury’s homosexuality and AIDS. The recent Bruce Springsteen film Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere attempted to tackle his mental health difficulties and near-breakdown. Neither film was perfect, but they were at least made with reasonably good intentions. That is rather more than can be said for Antoine Fuqua’s Michael Jackson biopic Michael, which opens in US cinemas this week and has been greeted with disbelief.

Michael Jackson

The decline of the country house hotel

From our UK edition

For decades, the idea of the country house hotel – a uniquely British phenomenon – has held a seductive sway for those who would never dream, unlike Hyacinth Bucket’s sister Violet, of having their own mansion ‘with the Mercedes, swimming pool and room for a pony’. There is something wonderfully appealing about turning up at a vast estate that could double as a National Trust property, to be greeted by charming domestic staff who could have stepped out of Downton Abbey, and of abandoning all one’s worldly cares and concerns for a weekend of pampering and history alike.

Has Andrew tarnished Queen Elizabeth’s legacy?

From our UK edition

Today marks the centenary of Elizabeth II’s birth. Less than four years after she died, Britain’s longest-reigning monarch is still regarded with both veneration and genuine fondness by the people that she ruled over. It has been announced that the controversial memorial dedicated to the Queen in London's St. James's park will include a statue of her in her Garter robes – along with Prince Philip in naval uniform. A new charity, the Queen Elizabeth Trust (patron: King Charles) is also being launched today alongside a so-called ‘digital memorial’ that will allow members of the public to share their memories of her. Our beleaguered Prime Minister Keir Starmer bleated that: As our longest‑serving monarch, Queen Elizabeth II devoted her life to public service.

Oxford needs to fight back against the university

From our UK edition

The news that the original Oxfam bookshop on St Giles in Oxford is not to close is not just a relief, but a rare victory in the ongoing battles between town and gown in the city. The building’s owners, Regent’s Park College, had attempted to take back the relatively modest space that the bookshop occupies and turn it into a common room for graduate students to ‘socialise and study’ in, which sounds like an arch euphemism. The college (my alma mater, in the interests of transparency) is keen to attract lucrative academics, and was apparently happy to ride roughshod over the literary desires of locals to do so.

The decline of the royal biography

About a decade ago, with my writing career going nowhere fast, I received some savvy advice from my then-literary agent. “Write about the royal family,” he said. “There’s an endless appetite for books about them. They combine history, social commentary and gossip with old-fashioned fascination with the rich and powerful. You can’t go wrong.” I listened to his advice and wrote a trilogy of books about the Windsors: The Crown in Crisis, The Windsors at War and Power and Glory. The first two sold very well, and the third was barely noticed, but I was glad that I took my agent’s counsel, even if we had to part ways because he had practiced what he preached, and diversified from historical biography into his own career writing about the royals.

The banality of Meghan the Martyr

The great Dolly Parton once quipped “get down off your cross, honey, someone needs the wood.” This remark, aimed at attention-seeking self-described martyrs, could almost have been dreamt up for the Duchess of Sussex. Meghan, along with her ever-subservient husband Prince Harry, is currently bringing the gospel according to Meghan to Australia. During her quasi-royal tour to promote a wellness weekend that she is the keynote speaker at, Meghan has invented a new catchphrase – “Call me Meg” – and has been photographed smiling and looking appropriately radiant. The Netflix cash might be drying up, but enough has been banked for her to look a million dollars in the various Instagram-friendly outfits she has been sporting.

Meghan

What’s the point of the Sussexes’ undignified Australia tour?

From our UK edition

Not since the First Fleet arrived at Botany Bay in 1788 has a visit to Australia been so eagerly awaited as that of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Their quasi-royal tour seems mostly designed to bolster the publicity for a ‘girls weekend’ hosted by Meghan. The event, taking place in Sydney in a few days, still has tickets available – shock – at a mere £1,675 for a VIP pass. Perhaps unsurprisingly, then, the couple's visit is receiving what those in Meghan's former trade of acting euphemistically refer to as 'mixed notices'. On the one hand, most observers acknowledge that Prince Harry is generally at his best when he is allowed to go off the leash and meet ordinary people and that his innate talent at connecting with well-wishers is reminiscent of his late mother.

Will genteel customers desert Waitrose?

From our UK edition

One of the disadvantages of having a daughter who is both given to wayward behaviour in public and named Rose is that my increasingly frantic cries of ‘Wait, Rose! Wait, Rose!’ make me sound like an especially unhinged proselytizer for the middle classes’ favourite supermarket. When we do eventually make it inside the hallowed doors of Waitrose, however, I can feel my pulse rate returning to normal. Like Truman Capote’s Holly Golightly so famously said of Tiffany’s, it is a place where I feel that nothing bad can happen.   The supermarket has, however, suffered quite a public relations blow recently with its actions involving its former employee, Walker Smith.

Why is Prince Harry being sued by Sentebale?

From our UK edition

It must be unpleasant to be Prince Harry at the moment. Not only is he waiting on the judgement of Mr Justice Nicklin for his class action lawsuit for privacy infringement against Associated Newspapers – which is by no means looking like a victory for him and his fellow plaintiffs – but it has recently been revealed that, following the dramatic implosion last year of the Sentebale charity that he co-founded, aggrieved members of the organisation are now suing him and his fellow trustee Mark Dyer for defamation.  Harry has form in making emotive, even offensive, comments in public, but most of them have concerned members of his family. As we all know, the general attitude of the Firm, whatever the provocation, has always been ‘never complain, never explain’.

The Magic Faraway Tree is aimed at anxious parents not children

From our UK edition

My ten-year-old daughter Rose is a thoroughly modern child in many respects but one endearingly old-fashioned characteristic that she has is a deep love of Enid Blyton. She thrilled to the Malory Towers books, as well as the BBC’s uncharacteristically old-fashioned adaptation, and was equally enamoured of the The Secret Seven, although curiously, she was left entirely cold by the wilder antics of the The Famous Five.   However, a particular favourite were the four Faraway Tree books that Blyton wrote between 1939 and 1951, at the peak of her popularity and fame. They are hardly great literature, but as usual with Blyton, are rich in imaginative vigour, as she follows the fortunes of Jo, Bessie and Fanny, a trio of girls who discover the Faraway Tree.