Steerpike

Ed Miliband's ‘One Nation’ conference speech will have put the populist cat amongst Downing Street’s toffee-nosed pigeons. Now young Dave's people will have to work out how to respond to this inspired piece of political cross-dressing, even if it is essentially diaphanous. One (alleged) Tory, though, is very happy with the direction in which the national debate seems to be travelling. Mr Steerpike found Phillip Blond, the 'Red Tory' and founder of the Respublica think-tank, cock-a-hoop after the speech: 'Ed Miliband has thrown down a blue Labour challenge to the Conservatives. No. 10 needs a Red Tory response unless they want to see Ed's One Nation politics win the next election.

David Miliband blasted New Statesman columnist Mehdi Hasan's updated Ed Miliband biography yesterday afternoon: 'Judging by extracts about me in the Mail on Sunday, updates to Ed's biography should be filed in the fiction section'. The former foreign secretary took umbrage at the suggestion that he had said his brother would 'crash and burn'. And, just in case we had missed the point, he added 'i.e. made up' for good measure. Despite these manifold grievances, the elder Miliband graced the New Statesman’s Labour conference party later in the evening. He waited until Ed had done the rounds and left before entering, tieless.

Barclays bank has opened a charm offensive, hosting an autumn drinks party for assorted hacks at its Mayfair offices. Insiders claim that it's ‘a very British affair’ at the bank these days, with a new regime at the top following Bob Diamond's departure. Indeed, even the more subtle traces of Diamond have been eradicated. It was a no tie affair in Mayfair, which meant that there was not a lime green silk number – Diamond’s trademark – in sight. It was not always so. I hear that, when the former chief executive was in town, ambitious tyros would whip their own lime green neckwear out of the desk drawer in an attempt to impress the big boss.

Dave is chasing Boris across the Pond and onto the set of the Letterman Show, but Mr Steerpike understands that the prime minister is not the only British party leader heading stateside today. On the back of UKIP’s most successful ever party conference, Nigel Farage is on his way for a lap of honour around Wall Street for a series of meetings with expat hedgies, traders and fund managers. Sources close to our man in pinstripes tell me that his popularity over there is phenomenal and that he’s got a packed twenty-nine hours. To prove the point, Farage has been granted a rare meeting with the brains behind the market-moving ZeroHedge website.

A big-tent turnout on Saturday evening for the fourtieth birthday of Conor Burns, the Tory MP for Bournemouth West. Burns, fresh from his heroic rebellion against Lords reform, packed the State Rooms of the Palace of Westminster with a big crowd of rising Tory stars and some old stagers including Lord Lamont and Sir Mark Thatcher. Burns is a close friend of Baroness Thatcher; and although the great Lady was unable to join, she did some send some pearls of wisdom in her place. Burns reported that when he had told Lady Thatcher that his friend and speech-giver Thomas Docherty, who has been Burns' voting pair since they both arrived in Westminster in 2010, sat on the opposition benches she replied: ‘Good, it means you can trust him.’ Sound words, as ever.

What could possibly go wrong when you lock 10,000 political hacks and flacks in a hotel for 96 hours and let lobbyists pick up the tab? Well that's party conference for you, and there have been some excellent tales of drunken debauchery over the last few years. The most riotous parties are the ones upstairs in the private suites of the main conference hotel. Representing the Tory side, Lord Strathclyde fills his bathtub with ice and champagne and opens his doors every year. Rumour has it that he always deserves a magnum for later. Last year, one Tory MP went so far as to punch a colleague. Other MPs had to drag one of them away. It was  all denials the next day, but multiple witnesses reported that a woman was involved...

True to form of life imitating art, this week’s episode of Armando Iannucci's ‘The Thick of It’ featured a government policy of ending breakfast clubs in schools. Just hours after the episode went out on Saturday night, the Sunday papers reported that the real government was mooting the very same idea. While the government remains the main target of the show - and we can all recognise a little bit of Roger Allam’s brilliant Peter Mannion in various Tory ministers - should Ed Miliband be worried about the new series? The simple answer is yes, the easy answer is no. It's just satire, right? Obviously Ed is landing far more blows than the hapless Nicola Murray, who we hear only achieved the dizzy heights of leader of the Labour Party thanks to the unions.

Mr Steerpike understands that only fourteen Tory MPs have written to Graham Brady, the chairman of the backbenchers 1922 committee, asking for a leadership contest to oust David Cameron. Although the names officially remain a secret, fourteen is the number that the PM's enemies believe that they have secured so far. Our Prime Minister can breath a sigh of relief, for now. Thirty two more names are needed for any kind of trouble, as Matthew d’Ancona explained in yesterday’s Evening Standard: ‘Under the system introduced by William Hague in 1998, the incumbent leader faces a vote of no confidence triggered by letters from 15 per cent of the parliamentary party (in this case, 46 Tory MPs).’ The fact that only 4.

Missing: One Scottish hardline right-wing Tory. Formerly Secretary of State for Defence, last seen leaving government over some confusion with a business card. Warning: An imposter was spotted this morning at the soon-to-be-closed St Stephen’s Club in Westminster extolling the benefits of coalition: ‘The idea that coalitions are new in British politics is just ridiculous, as any who has ever worked in the Tory whips office could tell you. The broader coalition within the Tories the better, and the less chance we will need to rely on external coalitions. Come one, come all, everyone is welcome. We need to broaden out.

It sounds like an episode of The Thick of It: the government is ploughing ahead with its naff “Stoptober” initiative. Next month the country’s eight million smokers will be encouraged by TV adverts and glossy leaflets to work together to kick the habit. Tory Minister Simon Burns's move from the Department of Health to Transport couldn’t have come at a better time: the chain smoker managed to get out just before he was forced to take part in the campaign. Bad news though for Liberal Health Minister Norman Lamb, who was promoted to Health to replace Burns. He told the BBC today that he ‘quit smoking last week’. Of course he did.

Mr Steerpike reported last week that the Tories’ shadowy donor-cum-puppetmaster, Lord Ashcroft was shunned in America. But it’s not all bad news for the man dubbed the sleaze of Belize. Last night Downing Street announced that he has been appointed to the Privy Council and made 'Special Representative for Veterans’ Transition’. While the worthiness of the new role is not in doubt, some observers might raise an eyebrow at the choice of Ashcroft and the timing. The one time Deputy Party Chairman has been very much on the outside since his tax affairs blew up before the 2010 election. And questions about one of companies, BCB Holdings, breaking London Stock Exchange rules arose earlier this year.

In what Bono described to me as ‘the best of the smaller ones’, the stars of Team GB stole the show at last night’s GQ Men of the Year awards. Presented with a special team award by Lord Coe, the A-list crowd were on their feet at the Royal Opera House for the Olympic contingent. Though seemingly dry, high-jump star Greg Rutherford and pommel-horser Louis Smith were amongst the last men standing at the after-party. Cyclist Bradley Wiggins is becoming something of fashion icon, though he might need to work on his people skills. Asked if he would like to meet Liam Gallagher, the cyclist said ‘Nah, I know him already’ and then walked off. But Mad Men’s John Slattery was on much friendlier form.