Steerpike

The Red Fort in Soho went multi-coloured last night as politcos from across the spectrum gathered to celebrate Keith Vaz’s 25th year in Parliament. Top of the a-list was Tony Blair, fresh from lunch at Downing Street with the Queen. No sign of his wife, again, but his son Euan was pressing the flesh. If the rumours that he wants to follow in his father’s footsteps are true, then this was the perfect event for him. Disgraced Phil Woolas was loitering in the shadows. The sacked MP for Oldham turned lobbyist was making a rare public appearance. But it was the presence of Home Secretary Theresa May which got tongues wagging.

Westminster's favourite shaggy-haired do-gooder Andrew Mitchell has been spilling his heart out to Total Politics about Maggie: ‘To me, she was a goddess. When she walked down the  corridors, I used to stand stiffly to attention and hope she would pass by.’ Far too much information from the International Development Secretary, who is known to keep a bowl of condoms in on his ministerial desk, as part of a worldwide health campaign, of course.

If the new Labour HQ was meant to reflect a reinvigorated party then the blank white walls made for an obvious joke. With hacks and hackettes assembling for Ed Miliband’s summer drinks Labour command and control was going strong - red wine was banned, lest some spill it on the pristine new grey carpet. Expertly manoeuvred around the room by his spinners ex-Mirror man Bob Roberts and part-time standup comic Ayesha Hazarika, Ed looked like a man who knows he’s had a good few months. He’s got a long way to go to achieve the potential PM aura though. Sneaking out at the end unaccompanied does not really fit the look. There were a few notable absences.

When City AM editor Allister Heath was leaving the BBC’s Westminster studios on Friday, the last thing he would have expected was to be 'arrested'. Out popped an overexcited viewer of the Daily Politics who I hear accosted Heath declaring: 'I've got a warrant for your arrest'. The white envelope was quickly discarded. but a frothing anti-city rant ensued. A BBC snout tells me that Heath returned upstairs and was later smuggled out of the building while a quick-thinking BBC staff member distracted the lunatic. The irony of it all being that Heath had just spent the last hour slamming the banks and generally turning on the City, but this one was beyond reason.

What’s the best way to deal with a full onslaught against your industry? A damn good party of course. ‘Despite the dismal financial outlook, Square Mile magazine held their annual Summer Party on Friday 13th for 1,000 City bankers,’ proclaims one of the most gloriously offensive press releases that Mr Steerpike has seen in long time. There were apparently ‘no signs of the dismal economy’ as bankers ‘quaffed free Iceberg Vodka and Louis Roederer champagne and were entertained by fire-breathing strippers and snake charmers’.

Where better for rebellious Tory MPs to hide from the domineering whips than behind a giant ice sculpture of a fighter jet? Defence spending is on ice in Whitehall, and Saab Technologies took this literally at their 75th birthday bash at County Hall last night. With Saab looking to open new factories in Britain, plenty of MPs dropped by in search of some constituency investment.   Lobbyists Bell Pottinger, who have had what might be described as a choppy year, are back with a bang having organised the event. But were uplighters and ice bars (straight out of a Bond film) the best way to make a room full of arms manufacturers seem less sinister? Mr Steerpike certainly thought so.

House of Lords reform? Most politicos are debating whether to elect senators or maintain the status-quo. Not so the Kensington, Chelsea and Fulham Conservatives, who held an evening discussion about whether the Lords should return to the hereditary principle. Mr Steerpike hears that it was a popular motion. Leading the charge was James Bethell, head of Westbourne Communications by day and 5th Baron Bethell by night. Lord Bethell stated that his great-grandfather bought his peerage for £10,000 in 1922. He said that the sum works out at over three million pounds in today’s money, which appears to be much more than the asking price for an elected seat.

It’s Euro-mania in SW1. Always reliable for hard hitting analysis, Tory foghorn Louise Mensch summed up what she saw as her party’s position on the EU: ‘We want a Diet Coke version. A skinny latte. An EasyJet ticket. An IKEA flat-pack. Pain, vin, Boursin. You know. Just the basics.’ And who said a referendum would dumb down a complicated issue? Those paid to walk the line are less happy though. One Tory spinner whispers to me: This ding-dong is almost as interesting as the tennis. Less civilised though...

One time Tory leader contender (now cabinet dead man walking) Jeremy Hunt faced the suits last night at his first outing in media circles since being dragged through the gutter over his relationship with News Corp.    Pencilled in to speak at the All Party Media Group’s summer drinks at Channel Four, the Culture Secretary tried to put on a brave face in a hostile crowd of media hacks, television types and lawyers. I can only think of rabbits and headlights.    After the softest of digs from host Austin Mitchell MP, who noted that Hunt had been starring in his very own reality TV show for the last few months, Jezza immediately recalled the last time he had been in the building he shared a platform with troubled comedian Jimmy Carr.