Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike
One of the pleasures of Mr Steerpike's job is stumbling across little photographic gems like this shot of Michael Gove, above. It would be selfish not to share them with Coffee House readers and ask for their thoughts and suggested captions in these Coffee Shots posts. So do post your comments below, and if you find any entertaining pictures (or gossip), contact steerpike@spectator.co.
The PM was keeping his enemies close at a Tory fundraiser last week at Old Billingsgate Market. Dave exchanged uneasy smiles with his deadliest rival, Boris, who was seated on the same table as him. And something else seemed slightly fishy at the former herring exchange. Guests noticed that there were rather fewer tables than there have been in years past. Even a speech from the Prime Minister couldn’t lift the atmosphere. One attendee remarked afterwards, ‘It was a typical Cameron speech, thoroughly unmemorable.’ Dear old Darwin is to be culled from the new version of the ten-pound note. The outgoing Bank of England Governor, Mervyn King, has hinted that Jane Austen is hot favourite to replace the naturalist.
Pippa Middleton is back in the Spectator tomorrow. Here's a little peek at what she says: 'The last time I wrote in these pages, I issued a challenge to Boris Johnson to take me on at ping pong. The Mayor said he’d be up for it, and his office duly contacted The Spectator to arrange the details. Team Johnson insisted that the match should be held at a venue of their choosing. I said by all means. And then — nothing. The Spectator has tried to follow up, but now it’s radio silence from the Mayor’s office. Is Boris scared or what? He should be.' Subscribers, all this and more is on its way to you. Non-subscribers you can join us today for just £1 an issue.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer had the Tory backwoodsmen shaking their order papers and cheering during the spending review when he announced the following: ‘We’ll make sure the site of the Battle of Waterloo is restored in time for the 200th anniversary, to commemorate those who died there and to celebrate a great victory of coalition forces over a discredited former regime that had impoverished millions.’ While he was blustering, shadow chancellor Ed Balls missed the opportunity to point out that in Vanity Fair a feckless and profligate character called George Osborne dies at Waterloo. But Harriet Harman made no such mistake. Good to see that her education at St Paul’s has not gone to waste.
You can always tell when an 'edgy' part of London loses its cool; it's normally around the time a Starbucks opens and the bankers pitch up. By the time the warehouse raves accept credit cards at the bar, you know that it's time to move on. So imagine how oh-so-trendy Hoxton must be feeling this morning. Last night it hosted the summer party of spin-merchants and global lobbyists, Weber Shandwick. It’s over, N1.
Mr Steerpike is a romantic at heart and a conservative, so I like love and marriage. Yet I was irritated by one detail of the nuptials of Lady Melissa Percy and Thomas van Straubenzee (pictured), dubbed the ‘Royal Wedding of the North’ at Alnwick Castle, which took place this weekend. It was quite a bash. Prince Harry was caught between two blondes, when his ex and latest squeeze came face to face. Prince William (who was Best Man to his childhood friend van Straubenzee) was flying solo after the heavily pregnant Duchess of Cambridge decided to stay in London lest she be forced to give birth in a northern NHS hospital. The horror, the horror! Pippa Middleton was tottering about with princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.
Quentin Tarantino has responded to allegations in this week’s edition of Spectator Life. In the cover feature, Diane Kruger claimed the king of cool fired an actor for not bringing a pen to rehearsals. The director told the New York Post: ‘I’m not really sure what she’s referring to . . . However, any actor who shows up at rehearsal without a pen to make notes in their script isn’t professional enough to either be in my movie or worthy enough to be trusted with one of my characters.” He added, “That’s actually part of rehearsal: to test the actors, and if they’re not up to snuff, get rid of them. That’s my job, making sure I’ve picked the right people.’ Luvies, you have been warned.
The art world has descended on the almost attractive city of Basel in Switzerland this week, for the annual art fair. And where the art world goes, glamorous collectors follow. Leonardo di Caprio appeared to be in the mood for some serious shopping when I glimpsed him, casting his eye over a Warhol or two. He may have looked at the Alexander Calder, or perhaps he saw the Edmund de Waal or the exquisite pair of Peter Doig etchings. And there’s this chap called Picasso; mark my words, dear readers, he’s going to be big. Di Caprio had competition from one Roman Abramovitch, who sloped by a few Edvard Munchs, as one does. Cate Blanchett was a radiant study in concentration as she perused the stalls of the finest galleries in the world.
Most people had not heard of Wendi Deng until she lamped the left wing comedian "Jonnie Marbles", also known as Jonathan May-Bowles, during her husband Rupert Murdoch's now infamous appearance before the Culture Select Committee in 2011. Springing to her husband's defence when he was custard-pied by the comic, her right hook will go down in the history book of punches. Now it seems that Rupert Murdoch and Wendi, who married in 1999, are going their separate ways. The media mogul filed for divorce at New York's Supreme Court this morning. The News Corp boss better find a suitable new security guard. UPDATE: Looks this news has been in the making for a while: https://twitter.
The Middleton family’s party website is set for a revamp, I hear. James Middleton was serving his own cupcakes at last night’s Johnnie Walker Blue summer party when he let slip that the website would be stepping up a gear. What timing, methinks. The company has raised eyebrows in the past. Their wedding party kits went on sale at around the same time as the elder Middleton daughter joined The Firm. What will the company offer this time? How about some baby shower party packs or a christening kit? It really is a world of opportunity.
Some politicians don’t read their own manifestos. And some don’t even read the names of their own parties. When it comes to academy schools, the Lib Dems are struggling to comprehend ‘liberal’ and ‘democratic’. A Suffolk school earmarked for closure was rescued by campaigning parents who invited a commercial operator — International English Schools UK — to take over its administration. Rather than celebrate, Nick Clegg was hopping mad. He apparently regards the profit-making IES as blasphemers against his ideology. A few months ago IES leafleted homes in Twickenham and Teddington offering ‘a new choice of education from September 2014 when IES welcomes the first pupils to a brand new primary school’.
The SNP was out in force at the annual Macmillan Lords Vs Commons tug-of-war in Westminster last night. Pete Wishart, the rocker turned MP, turned up to support fellow traveller Angus McNeil, the Commons' captain. Wishart looked baffled by the non-whisky brown drink on offer at the bar. Clearly, Pimms has not reached Perthshire. The BBC’s James Landale host the annual jolly once more. And BAE System flexed its muscles by picking up the tab again - any MP whose constituency contains so much as an aviation-related nut and bolt factory came to pay homage to the ‘job creators’. Alas, there was no romance and even less competition.
Plots, summary executions, sex scandals, leaks and treachery. No, not the last few weeks for the Prime Minister, but rather your average episode of HBO’s hit show Game of Thrones. When asked at a charity reception that clashed with the series finale last night, whether he kept a close eye on it all, young Dave said ‘No, but I understand it's getting brutal.’ Game of Thrones, that is, not the mood on the Tory backbenches. ‘Fair enough really, it's a lot to commit to every week’ my source replied. Perhaps if Dave could give up on his addiction to iPhone games and dark Danish TV boxsets, he might pick up a thing or two about stamping out rebellions and holding unholy alliances together.
Tensions between some ministers and the civil service are at boiling point, with vicious briefings taking place on both sides. Seemingly keen to keep the pen-pushers sweet, former Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell lashed out last week at colleagues who have been winding up Sir Humphrey: ‘This behind-the-hand rubbishing of public servants is extremely unattractive.’ Spoken like a man who has certainly never been rude himself. A ‘former minister’ also told Sue Cameron in the Telegraph: ‘This is not good management and it’s not good politics, either. If it’s a choice between politicians and civil servants, there’s no doubt that the public will side with the civil servants.
To Kensington last night, to celebrate Russia Day at the glorious mansion of the noble, kind and august ambassador. There was patriotic music, oratory of great distinction and the crowd rejoiced; or so the propagandists will have it. Tongues loosened as the Russian Standard flowed. John Whittingdale, Commissar of the Culture Media and Sport Select Committee, was ripe for gossip: ‘If half of what I hear is true it will be quite a show trial,’ he told me. ‘There is all sorts to come out yet.’ Whatever was he talking about? Guests were reluctant to discuss the forthcoming G8 summit in Northern Ireland. I hear that the Russian delegation’s travel plans are in disarray. Cries of ‘Putin cannot stay here!
Hearty congratulations are in order for Aidan Burley, the naughty Tory MP and Britain's biggest fan of the Olympic opening ceremony. The Cannock Chase MP popped the question in Sri Lanka, to a fellow Tory, his twenty-four year old researcher Jodie Jones, for what will be a true blue Westminster wedding. Mr Steerpike is fascinated to hear any plans for the stag night.
Andrew Adonis is in the loop. At least that's the impression you might get from 5 Days in May; his account of the various coalition discussions after the 2010 election. His viperous comments about Nick Clegg suggest he was 'inside'; but word from the corridors of power says otherwise. A little birdie tells me that Nick Clegg saw neither hide nor hair of his lordship on any of those five days in May.
High politics can be a grubby business. To a backstreet Westminster pub last night to watch Michael Gove fill the re-election coffers of Tory MP Tobias Elwood. The Tory party likes Michael Gove, and Michael Gove evidently likes the Tory party (unlike David Cameron, who can barely conceal his contempt). The education secretary worked the room with ease, wit and joie de vivre. Soon, the Gove stand-up show was in full-flow. One attendee asked how Gove deals with Andrew Neil's tough Sunday interviews. 'Oh, I just imagine him naked,' replied Mr Gove. Leadership wannabe, Adam Afriyie may want to adopt this technique, assuming he braves the line of fire again.
There is some shock in Fleet Street tonight, following news that Pippa Middleton is a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. The magazine was the last of the late Christopher Hitchens’ haunts; that’s a very long way for a bottom to have wiggled in such a short space of time. On hearing the news, a friend of mine put down his glass and remarked, ‘Dear Lord and Father of Mankind, forgive Graydon Carter his foolish ways.’ Then he turned a reddened eye to your humble correspondent and declared, not without a clear note of resentment, ‘You’re responsible for this!’ He was referring, I believe, to Pippa Middleton’s two outings in these pages. You can read Pippa in Waitrose’s in-house mag.
Mr Steerpike has checked his privilege, and he’s a radical feminist. Middle class, self-loathing and instinctively liberal, how could he not be? A devotee of feminist blogs, I was intrigued to read MadamJ-Mo saying that she felt ‘cheated’ by Laurie Penny’s Meat Market, a pamphlet published in 2011. And MadamJ-Mo has a point. Compare this passage from page 62 of Penny’s pamphlet: ‘Judith Ramirez, co-ordinator of the Toronto-based International Coalition to End Domestics’ Exploitation (INTERCEDE) insists that there is no simple solution to what she calls “a modern day variation on the slave trade” – hiring a nanny or a housekeeper is really a question of women trying to fend for themselves.