Steerpike

Steerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike

Women in Parliament group serve ‘Eton Mess’ at Speaker’s House lunch

The Speaker’s House hosted the launch of 'Women in Parliament', a cross-party initiative to get more women into parliament, today. Fittingly, there was barely a man in sight — besides wee John Bercow, obviously. 'Women in Parliament' is led from by Mary MacLeod — former PPS to ex-Culture Secretary Maria Miller, who is also closely involved in the project. The group has received a lukewarm reaction from Downing Street. The ambition to get more women onto the Tory benches is welcomed by No 10; but the timing of the launch has clashed with the upcoming female-focussed reshuffle. Tongues wagged at this afternoon’s event when the waiter described the menu.

Tulisa tongue twister

The BBC has departments devoted to pronouncing dialect and names; but they must have been in management meetings this morning, leaving news presenter Joanna Gosling to struggle with the name Tulisa Contostavlos: 'We'll just leave it at Tulisa,' said the tongue-tied presenter. The Spectator sympathises with Ms Gosling: try pronouncing Taki's name.

Wrath of Khan

Taking sides in the Middle East causes rows over many a Sunday lunch table; but one imagines that things are even tenser when you’re a member of one of the most prominent Jewish families in history and you’ve converted to Islam. This is the world in which Jemima Khan lives. Ben Goldsmith expressed a few critical words on Twitter about Israel's enemies for using civilians as human shields. And Jemima was off: @BJGoldsmith Ben, your tweets on this subject are really ignorant and offensive — Jemima Khan (@Jemima_Khan) July 12, 2014 Ben responded, not entirely unreasonably, to a third party’s suggestion that he needed to be bombed. And his sister went for the jugular: @BJGoldsmith @unique_ppl These are tame compared to some of the missives I've had from you and Zac...

Uxbridge set to be destination Boris?

Mr S likes a flutter. His eyes were drawn to the latest speculation about Boris’s return to the Commons. Ladbrokes are offering 3-1 that the Blond Bombshell will be selected in Uxbridge, which is to be vacated by John Randall at the next election. Uxbridge is hardly K&C (Mrs S is agin it); but, it is a safe Tory seat in the capital: Ladbrokes have it 1/50 on for the Tories. Perfect for Boris, you might think… Here are the latest odds on Boris, courtesy of Ladbrokes: Where will Boris stand in 2015?

Ed Miliband’s road to nowhere

Ed Miliband's negotiations with the White House to meet his hero Barack Obama aren't going well, Nick Robinson reported on the Today programme this morning: ‘Ed Miliband's team are desperate not to ruin their man's chances of a visit to the White House by talking them up... The Labour leader's aides point out that he has already met Barack Obama, though not at the White House. Some even say that Michael Howard never got to go when he was leader of the opposition – before remembering, perhaps, that that's not the best parallel to draw. Don't be fooled though, in Washington DC they're in no doubt this is a meeting the man who aspires to be our next Prime Minister wants and wants badly.

Three cheers for all those who avoid the UK’s huge taxes

‘Hypocrisy of the stars who shielded cash from taxman’, cries a headline in today’s Daily Mail. But are we sure that it's really hypocrisy? Among those ‘outed’ as hypocrites is the actor Michael Caine. But Mr Steerpike seems to recall that the cockney lad has been a vocal campaigner against our tax system, which seem to be one of his pet peeves. In fact, in the late 1970s Caine moved to the States to avoid them. A country that charges 82 per cent tax on its highest earners isn't a democracy - rather ‘a communist country without a dictator’, he has been quoted as saying. Another tax ‘hypocrite’ is TV’s Anne Robinson, according to the Mail.

Who is Robert Peston’s ‘senior government source’?

Earlier this year, a 'government source’ floated the idea that Sebastian Coe could well be appointed the next chairman of the BBC Trust. It’s no secret that George Osborne and Seb Coe go back a long way -  they both used to work together in William Hague’s private office. And while Osborne has never officially stated that he would support the appointment of his friend, both he and Cameron are reportedly keen on the idea. That appointment is a ‘virtual shoo-in’, writes the BBC's Robert Peston, who is currently in India with Osborne and Hague. According to a senior government source, 'Lord Coe is widely and snootily under-rated "as that bloke who won some gold medals”’. Mr S wonders who this senior government source could be….

We are all numbers in Labour’s computer now

In 1975 Margaret Thatcher said in her 'Free Society' speech to the Conservative Party Conference: ‘Some Socialists seem to believe that people should be numbers in a state computer. We believe they should be individuals. We are all unequal. No one, thank heavens, is like anyone else, however much the Socialists may pretend otherwise. We believe that everyone has the right to be unequal but to us every human being is equally important.’ Mr S could not help but recall these fine words after an email arrived from the Labour Party asking him to enter chunks of personal data into its website, such as his postcode and date of birth, in order to find out his ‘number’. Since Labour created the NHS 66 years ago, croons the propaganda, it’s delivered 44m babies.

Nick Clegg’s self-pitying guide to parenting

‘I’m like any parent,’ says Nick Clegg (Deputy Prime Minister, privy councillor and universally derided leader of the Liberal Democrats). Speaking to the Radio Times, as any old parent might do, Average Dad Nick pleaded with his offspring: 'The first, most visceral instinct you have as a parent is you want to protect your children, and politics is a very rough business you know. It’s absolutely not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned, so I wouldn’t likely recommend to my children to go into politics.' Pity. Mr S was getting rather misty eyed at the prospect of young Miguel or Antonio seeking high office in order to restore the family name. Who will avenge self-pitying Clegg now?

Miliband’s main man blames the voters

Labour Party guru David Axelrod popped up in Sunday's New York Times, presumably to promote his new book. He spoke candidly to columnist Maureen Dowd, attempting to explain why Barack Obama is plummeting in the polls: 'Reagan significantly changed the trajectory of the country for better and worse. But he restored a sense of clarity. Bush and Cheney were black and white, and after them, Americans wanted someone smart enough to get the nuances and deal with complexities. Now I think people are tired of complexity and they're hungering for clarity, a simpler time. But that's going to be hard to restore in the world today.' That's right; apparently, President Obama is just too complex for the simple American public.

Aha! Steve Coogan sticks it to Rupert Murdoch

Mr S would like to draw your attention to two separate articles in the Guardian, which he passes on without so much as a smirk. The actor and comedian Steve Coogan, told the paper in 2011 that he would never let Rupert Murdoch forget the News of the Word hacking scandal: '[They are hoping] there will be some big disaster or something that'll knock it off the front pages and hopefully no one will care anymore. And I will do everything in my power [to prevent that]. ‘Because I'm a more populist person and I reach a more generalised audience that goes beyond broadsheets I can help keep it in the popular imagination and I will do everything in my power to keep it in the popular imagination.' And here's how Mr Coogan is using that people power today.

Chuka’s struggle

Chuka Umunna was on the receiving end of an internet storm after he suggested that people who vote UKIP are either too old or too stupid to do things like 'sending and receiving an email, browsing the internet, filling in an online form.' Angry E-Kippers flooded the Shadow Business Secretary’s inbox with proof to the contrary. Now it seems it is Chuka who is struggling online: 'Parliament's computers are being upgraded,' moans the self-styled smooth operator. 'It is absolutely awful - would love to go back to the previous version!' So it is not just Ukip that harks back to a bygone age.

Baldwin’s blunder

Labour’s ‘media grid’ for this week had Miliband’s millionaire spinner Tom Baldwin pencilled in to brief Times journalist Rachel Sylvester and give her an exclusive story for Tuesday's paper. When the paper landed it was actually lots of Labour figures slagging off the leader, and saying how Ed had lots of policies but not the character to be PM. That's some class A spinning for you.

Ed’s business speech literally cloaked in darkness

Mr S wandered down to Ed Miliband's big business speech at the 'Inclusive Prosperity' conference at the Science Museum today, and it has to be said: it was all a bit weird. While the space age theme of the ‘breakout’ coffee room was rather funky, it was so dark that you could not actually see anyone's face or work out who you are talking to. The whole thing had the feel of a night club—all be it one hosting a geek-themed fetish evening—about it. Perhaps this is how the Labour leader likes to interact with big business – cloaking it in darkness so he can pretend it is not there.

Yet another Labour attack on McDonald’s employees

What has Labour got against people who work in McDonald's? Last week we had Liam Byrne's burger flip, where he slammed the same fast food employer for which he used to sizzle with praise. Now Andy Burnham has told the Unite conference in Liverpool: 'What sort of message are we sending out when we say social care is the lowest form of work - lower even than McDonald's.' In the UK there are 91,500 people currently employed by McDonald's, and many of them are at the lower end of the pay scale. These are people that Labour should be trying to win over – not belittling.

Labour run a mile from ‘nuts’ McBride return

Mr Steerpike's suggestion that things could be getting so bad for Labour that they may have to call on the services of Damian McBride, based on the disgraced former spin doctor's helpful recent interventions, has ruffled a few feathers in Westminster. A Labour source pours an ice bucket on the idea: 'I think it's an audition for a post-2015 role. But it's nuts. The book killed him. It made any return a delusion. He could have apologised. Instead he was smug. Disgusting.' We'll take that as a maybe then. Predictably the Conservatives are gleeful at the prospect of McBride redux. A Tory source teases: 'Labour need all the help they can get. And let's face it McBride would do a better job than Tom Baldwin who is barely house trained.

Damian McBride’s Labour audition

Is Damian McBride auditioning for a job as the saviour of the Labour Party spin operation? His re-energised blogging would certainly indicate as much. In the last few weeks the Brownite bad boy has left his job with Catholic aid charity Cafod, and returned to writing full time. He's also managed to make a compelling argument for why his misdemeanours cannot now be compared to those of Andy Coulson, despite the best efforts of the Prime Minister and the Chancellor: 'So if the Tories want to keep using the ‘What about Damian McBride?

Jeremy Paxman: Newsnight’s run by kids

It's fair to say that Jeremy Paxman did not see eye-to-eye with Ian Katz, the modish former Guardian hack who edits Newsnight these days. Paxman told the crowds at the Chalke Valley History Festival, 'Look, Newsnight is made by 13-year-olds.' He could not have been more withering about ‘Katz’s Cubs’ — the new generation of green (and cheap) faces bought in by Katz. Paxo continued, in wise-old-owl mode: 'It's perfectly normal when you're young that you want to change the world...The older you get, the more you realise what a fools' errand much of that is and that the thing to do is to manage the best you can to the advantage of as many people as possible.' The veteran star also confessed: 'I suppose I am a one-nation Tory, yes.

Boulton and Co

Journalists do, occasionally, say something nice about politicians. It does not happen very often; but, when it does, it’s usually heartfelt. Adam Boulton hosted a party at the Savoy last night to celebrate his 25 years at Sky News. Boulton heaped praise on those politicians with whom he has worked while covering the life and times of ‘5 Prime Ministers, 5 US Presidents, 5 Labour leaders, 6 Tory leaders and 4 Lib Dems – and counting’. He said: ‘As journalists, we need people who are prepared to engage our profession with their arguments and accountability. And you do. And often. And properly, which is vital to the democratic process.