Steerpike

Another day, another dispiriting quangocracy revelation. This time the spotlight is on the Valuation Office Agency, whose performance has been rapidly declining year on year – while complaints about the organisation have skyrocketed. Freedom of Information data received by the TaxPayers' Alliance shows that call wait times have more than doubled over the last three years, targets have been increasingly missed and complaints about the organisation have shot up by 200 per cent.

There are a number of ways to measure the public’s dissatisfaction with their politicians: party polling figures, favourability ratings and, of course, the result at the ballot box. But a less obvious indicator is baby’s names – and 2024’s most popular list is a damning indictment of Britain’s Prime Minister. It transpires that a grand total of, er, zero children were called ‘Keir’ last year. According to data released today by the Office for National Statistics, the PM’s first name was nowhere to be found on the list of most popular names for boys and girls in England and Wales.

Watch out, John Swinney – Donald Trump is, it seems, eyeing up your job. During the US President's trip up north to visit his Turnberry golf course and open his new 'Mona Lisa' course in Aberdeenshire, Trump was full of praise for bonnie Scotland and its people, going so far as to single out the First Minister to call him a 'terrific guy' during yesterday's opening ceremony. Goodness… But while the President was full of compliments for the SNP leader, he suggested he wouldn't mind knocking him off the top spot to take the First Minister job himself at some point. When quizzed whether he'd ever want to run Scotland, Trump told journalists: Yeah well, Scotland probably has a very good First Minister right now. But Scotland, look, they don't have crime… I could do that.

You'd think two botched party launches would have chastened Zarah Sultana and Jeremy Corbyn somewhat. Not so. The duo continue to heap praise on the number of sign-ups their new group has seen – reaching 550,000 in the last 24 hours – while Sultana uses the rising figure to barb Reform, boasting at the weekend that it had overtaken Nigel Farage's party membership. But, as Reform figures were quick to point out, a free sign-up is a rather different thing than being a paid-up party member… And Mr S has spotted another amusing feature of the dynamic duo's freshly-formed website. YourParty – which Sultana rather confusingly insists is not the long-term name of the new group – uses a plugin from a US company called Donorbox to crowdfund for its lefty cause.

While relations between Sir Keir Starmer and US President Donald Trump have been lauded as 'unparalleled' by the President himself, the same cannot be said for Sadiq Khan. In a press conference in Scotland this afternoon, Trump was pulling no punches when London came up in conversation. When quizzed on whether he would visit the UK's capital, Trump was quick to remark: I'm not a fan of your mayor. I think he's done a terrible job, the mayor of London, a nasty person. Shots fired! Starmer jumped in to defend the Labour politician, interjecting: 'He's a friend of mine.' Not that the President appeared to care all that much, repeating: 'I think he's done a terrible job.' Ouch.

After a rather botched party launch attempt in which Zarah Sultana appeared to force Jeremy Corbyn into letting her co-lead a new left-wing group, speculation abounded about what exactly this outfit would look like – and even what it would be called. Well, the wait is over; the name has been announced. The new harbinger of the left-wing revolution is called…Your Party. Way to underwhelm, eh? Only apparently it's, er, not called 'Your Party' – despite Sultana and Corbyn's social media statement directing supporters to 'your party.uk'. While most X users came to the same conclusion, Sultana has returned to the site to rage: 'It's not called Your Party!' Could the launch of this new group really get any worse?

Uh oh. Protests have broken out outside an empty Canary Wharf hotel after claims began to circulate that migrants were being relocated to the venue from Epping. In response to the rumours spread by controversial figures like Tommy Robinson, protestors have over the last 24 hours turned up to the hotel in the centre of London's financial district and tied England flags to posts outside. While the Home Office has indeed reserved over 400 beds at Canary Wharf's four-star Britannia International Hotel – at an agreed cost of £81-a-night for every migrant that moves in – the department has stated that there are no asylum seekers or guests inside the venue at present.

Well, well, well. It would appear the former Unite the Union boss Len McCluskey is not immune to the temptation of free gifts. An internal report has revealed that the trade unionist enjoyed private jets and freebie football tickets arranged by a company in charge of building a multi-million pound hotel for the organisation. Alright for some! The Unite report notes that the Corbynite 'overruled' advice from staff and union lawyers when he signed the contract with the Flanagan Group firm – which is run by the former union boss's 'good friends' – with the company going on to overcharge Unite at least £30 million for the Birmingham hotel and conference centre project.

Reform UK has dominated headlines this morning, as the party kick off their six-week campaign on crime. During a central London presser this morning, Nigel Farage told journalists that his party will halve crime in Britain if it gets into government – insisting that all foreign criminals will be deported and serial offenders would have life sentences imposed. Strong stuff, eh? But one right-winger in particular remains pretty unimpressed with the party's latest law and order policies. Rupert Lowe, formerly of the Reform parish before he was ousted earlier this year, has taken aim at Farage on Twitter – attacking his ex-party leader for their use of the police force over his suspension.