Steerpike

Steerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike

John Bercow joins Cameo

Where Farage leads, Westminster follows. Last month it was revealed that the former Brexit party leader had joined paid for video app Cameo, where he charges £75 to record a clip of your choice. Now Steerpike can reveal that former Commons Speaker John Bercow has signed up too and is billing £82.50 for fans of the undersized, but never undersold, onetime parliamentarian. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkdDZitIgTE The former Buckingham MP has already recorded his first lengthy clip which demonstrated that since standing down some 16 months ago, the loquacious former Tory has lost none of his verbosity. Bercow is listed on Cameo as replying within the hour with a bio that claims: 'As Speaker I served as chief officer of the House of Commons.

Margaret Beckett isn’t for the Commons people

Back in October the House of Commons gift shop announced some exciting news: copies of the parliamentary art collection would now be on sale as prints on demand. At last, politicos across the nation could take a little bit of Westminster's heritage home with them with prices starting at £15 for a William Wilberforce or Baroness Hayman print and rising all the way up to £100 for one of the magnificent Water over Westminster artwork. Mr S thought it would be fun to find out who the public wants hanging on their walls and establish which of the nation's politicians came top in the Christmas sales.

Ursula von der Leyen’s sexist sofa shenanigans

Oh dear. After weeks of unedifying rows over Europe's vaccine procurement disaster, two top Brussels' officials are now embroiled in a new diplomatic incident. On Tuesday, European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen and European Council president Charles Michel paid a trip to Ankara to meet with Turkish leader President Erdoğan. Unfortunately the three hour long discussion on issues such as women's rights got off to a bad start when von der Leyen was denied an armchair beside Erdoğan as the discussions began, being instead confined to a sofa opposite Turkish foreign minister Mevlüt Cavusoglu.

Now Pidcock’s partner is purged by Labour

Corbynista Laura Pidcock has always had something of the reverse Midas touch when it comes to politics, managing to lose both her council seat in 2017 and then her safe parliamentary constituency in 2019. Now it seems Pidcock's run of form has even extended to her long time partner Daniel Kebede who works for the National Education Union.Kebede took to Twitter last night to complain he has now been 'removed' from his party's membership for voicing support for the Northern Independence Party's candidate in the Hartlepool by election, writing: 'What can I say? If you're in Hartlepool, #VoteForThelma Reject the Westminster establishment.' Kebede though is maintaining a 'you can't fire me, I quit' defence and says he resigned last year but the party had clearly not got the memo.

Crossrail’s criminal blunder

The team behind London's Crossrail are well used to attracting negative publicity. Last summer it was reported that the new Elizabeth line will open more than four years late and over budget almost £4bn than originally planned, having been originally due to start operating in December 2018. Now though the infrastructure wonks appear to have made a fresh blunder of a non-budgetary nature after erecting a two kilometre mural in Newham to cover the Elizabeth line. The artwork is called 'Newham Trackside Wall' and will be officially in July. But it appears that, unusually for Crossrail, the artwork has been delivered before schedule and is already enraging local residents with the poetry quotes it has chosen to describe the surrounding area: I love this area North Woolwich.

When will No. 10 release their vaccine movie?

Last month the Downing Street Twitter account released a sixty second trailer for a forthcoming film heralding the triumphant success of Britain’s vaccine story. Titled: ‘A Beacon of Hope: The UK Vaccine Story’ with the tagline ‘Extraordinary. Unexpected. Fantastic’ the brief clip featured Chris Whitty, Patrick Vallance, Jonathan Van-Tam and other familiar faces from the Covid press conferences talking about how the UK raced ahead of other countries in the battle to vaccinate its population. https://twitter.com/10DowningStreet/status/1369663017890222084?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Four weeks on and no further details about the home-made film are yet to be published.

Why Douglas Ross needs to smile more

An opposition struggling to hold the government to account. A leader failing to win over the electorate. Poll numbers going in the wrong direction. Not Sir Keir Starmer and Labour but Douglas Ross, leader of the Scottish Tories. On the heels of Ross's badly-received performance in last week’s BBC Scotland debate, a poll for Ipsos-MORI shows further slippage in the Tory vote ahead of next month’s Holyrood election. The party remains in second place, ahead of Scottish Labour, but only just. On the constituency vote, it is on 20 per cent, down three points on mid-February, and just two points ahead of Labour. On the regional list, its vote is down one point to 21 per cent, three points over Labour. He needs to smile more.

George Osborne gets another new gig

What do you get for the man who has everything? Newspapers, banking, venture capital, think tanks and speaking engagements – former Chancellor George Osborne has done it all since he left Parliament in 2017 and earning himself a considerable fortune in the process. So it seems only right that the former Evening Standard editor has now chosen to splash some of that cash on an engagement ring for longtime girlfriend Thea Rogers. Osborne opted to follow the example of Benedict Cumberbatch and go for a traditional announcement, placing a simple notice of the forthcoming nuptials in the Times today which reads: 'Miss T Rogers and Mr G Osborne. The engagement is announced between Thea and George.

Watch: SNP’s ‘creepy’ party broadcast

Tonight the Scottish National party released its latest party political broadcast on Twitter. Featuring a young red-haired woman sitting on a stool, striding around a stage, it flashes various images onto the back of a screen complete with melodramatic background tones. Ignoring the Scottish government's own record of the last 14 years on health, education, social mobility and every other matter of public policy, it asks: 'Who will care? When you see your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your grandpa and nan, how can we get governments that care about them. The governments that we can trust to work tirelessly for Scotland, day after day after day.' https://twitter.com/theSNP/status/1379484798251626497?

No. 10 director of communications: runners and riders

Last month Mr S was first to report that Downing Street veteran James Slack was off to the Sun after four years in No. 10. Slack, who survived the transition from May to Johnson but had only served as Lee Cain’s replacement since January, was well-regarded from his time as the Prime Minister’s official spokesperson and viewed by the lobby as a ‘safe pair of hands.’ Attention now turns to who will replace Slack in the role. Key attributes needed for the role will be the strength to work gruelling 18-hour days, unflappability under relentless questioning about interiors and the experience to manage Westminster’s unruly press pack.

Alan Duncan’s burn book of insults

Alan Duncan's diaries are currently being serialised by the Daily Mail ahead of their release next Thursday. As a long-serving MP of 27 years who knew four successive Tory premiers, who lent Major his leadership headquarters, was part of May’s Oxford generation and worked alongside both Cameron and Johnson, surely such chronicles would be brimming with brio and insight? Unfortunately thus far revelations appear to have been fairly short on the ground, despite the Mail's best efforts to puff its 'hilarious' purchase as 'one of the most explosive political diaries ever' by claiming the cabinet had been 'rocked' by its contents.

Barry Gardiner’s holy day howler

As a young man, Barry Gardiner planned to become an Episcopal priest, serving as secretary of the Scottish Christian Movement. Fortunately for the country however, Gardiner decided that first academia and then politics were his true calling, rising eventually to the giddy heights in government of being Gordon Brown's special representative on forestry and then Jeremy Corbyn's shadow trade secretary in opposition.  Having stunned Westminster with a one day wonder bid to be Labour leader, he returned to the backbenches last April where he has largely remained a dutifully loyal presence in spite of some social distancing rule breaking.

Femi Oluwole’s Labour ultimatum

It has been a difficult few years for Remainer campaigner Femi Oluwole. Having failed to stop Brexit, secure a second referendum or prevent the Tories winning a majority in 2019, you might have thought the last four years would have chastened the 'Our Future Our Choice' founder. Not a bit of it. Oluwole, 31, is now turning his hand to journalism with the same aplomb that he brought to political campaigning. In a series of bizarre tweets this afternoon that sounded like outtakes from a Liam Neeson Taken sequel, Oluwole told Labour's team that he was 'currently writing an article which it's in your interest to stop' and added 'You have my number. You've got a few days to use it.

Keir Starmer’s church trip backfires

Monday will officially mark a 'Year of Keir' as Starmer celebrates the first anniversary of his election as Labour leader. It's been 12 months of frequent clashes with the party's once powerful left faction including the sacking of Rebecca Long-Bailey, the suspension of Jeremy Corbyn and the decision to abstain on the 'spy cops' bill. Moderates meanwhile grumble about Starmer's decision to attack the government on competence rather than values – a decision that backfired once vaccines arrived in December. Surely then an Easter trip to a church offered Starmer a chance to have his party singing for once from the same hymn sheet? Alas not. It seems the Leader's Office managed to choose the wrong church, judging by the reaction on social media.

The CofE’s Seder masochism

Christians are celebrating their second locked down Easter this weekend. If Mr S wasn't a model of Christian charity, he'd quite like to remind certain people of this fact, especially those irritating folk who last year insisted that locking down just before the Muslim festival of Eid was somehow an attack British Islam. Perhaps not everything is motivated by conflict between different identity groups? Oh wait, yes it is. With parishioners cooped up at home, someone in the Church of England thought it might be nice to encourage a bit of domestic ritual (yes, that antiquated idea of physical, structured worship).

Labour shadow equalities minister in anti-Traveller storm

It is Good Friday today but a bad one for Labour frontbencher Charlotte Nichols. The 29-year-old Warrington North MP was elected in 2019 and despite her Corbynista credentials was named shadow minister for women and equalities by Keir Starmer in November. Six months on, Starmer may be having cause to regret such a rapid promotion today after Nichols inadvertently caused a storm over a classic 'great response on the doorstop' style tweet while out campaigning in Orford. https://twitter.com/charlotte2153/status/1377713847142858752?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw A Labour campaign leaflet which she was pictured delivering told residents Labour is 'dealing with Traveller incursions' causing an outcry from Labour Gypsy, Roma and Traveller campaigners.

Eustice farm reaps what it sows

George Eustice has had a rocky relationship with farmers since taking over as environment secretary last year. Trying to balance agricultural interests with Boris Johnson’s vision of ‘Global Britain’ has proven a difficult challenge at times, with Eustice facing flack over the lack of food safety protections in the Trade Bill and criticism over his suggestion that lamb farmers rear cows in the event of a No Deal Brexit. The industry itself has endured a difficult time during Covid, with the pandemic forcing supply chains to be drastically restructured to take account of the closure of bars and restaurants. So Mr S was pleased to read this morning that the Eustice family farm Trevaskis is doing rather better at present.

China’s toothless wolf warrior diplomacy

Xi Jinping's overseas diplomats have attracted much controversy in recent years for their aggressive use of 'Wolf Warrior' tactics to denounce criticism of China on online platforms. But while past trolling incidents have sparked anger or dismay, the rest of Twitter was left baffled by the Chinese Embassy in Ireland's most recent foray into statecraft-by-social media. Following the news on Wednesday that RTE journalist Yvonne Murray has been forced to leave China, the official account of PRC tried to make the light of the situation, asking its 2,900 followers 'Who is the wolf?' before riffing on Aesop's fable 'The wolf and the lamb' and claiming 'the wolf is the wolf, not the lamb. BTW [by the way] China is not a lamb.

Clive Lewis and his Ku Klux Klamnesia

Oh dear. Onetime Labour leadership hopeful Clive Lewis, the soft left’s answer to Richard Burgon, has waded into the Sewell Report row with his usual tact, guile and diplomacy. Responding to an Independent headline which read: ‘No proof of institutional racism, claims key report’, Lewis, a former shadow defence secretary, tweeted a picture of a Ku Klux Klan member standing in front of a burning cross with the caption: ‘Move along. Nothing to see here #RaceReport’ adding in a subsequent tweet: ‘To be crystal clear this image represents structural racism. Just so we’re clear.’ Lewis clearly has a short memory about who the KKK’s electoral preferences in Britain.