Steerpike

Another day, another Labour politician embroiled in a trans tangle. Keir Starmer and Lisa Nandy have both had their awkward moments over Scotland's controversial prisoners policy and the Gender Recognition Reform Bill. And yesterday it was the turn of the party's attention-loving deputy leader Angela Rayner. 'Our Ange' is being groomed by Labour spinners as the plain-speaking Prescott to Keir Starmer's London-lawyer Blairite shtick. But it seems that all that no-nonsense 'tell-it-like-it-is' spiel comes to an end when Rayner gets grilled on the subject of, er, trans rapists. For the Mancunian apparently believes that it 'doesn’t matter' whether or not trans double rapist Isla Bryson has a penis. Is that the official party line...?

It seems that Boris Johnson's interventions in the Sunday papers haven’t gone down too well with some members of his party. Tory grandee George Osborne appeared on the Andrew Neil Show on Channel 4 today to issue a scathing rejoinder to his longtime rival. The former chancellor questioned the sincerity of Johnson's commitment to Northern Ireland by pointing out that Rishi Sunak merely inherited the 'mess' of the contentious Protocol. He also noted how Johnson has acquired, er, something of a reputation for disloyalty, having agitated against multiple Prime Ministers before for personal gain: I think Rishi Sunak should be applauded for trying to solve this mess from the past that he's inherited.

It's the issue vexing millions of voters. Forget war, pestilence, famine – it seems the real horror facing the good people of Wales is... meal deals. Yes, that's right: those fiscally prudent prandial packages are the real scourge bedevilling the Land of My Fathers. For the Welsh government in its infinite wisdom is mulling a ban on multi-buy offers as part of its latest anti-obesity drive. Clearly the cost of living crisis that Labour keeps banging on about in England doesn't apply across the border... The bans being considered by the satraps in the Senedd include temporary price reductions, multi-buy offers, and meal deals, according to a consultation document seen by the BBC.

If we hadn’t heard enough about ‘the Dumb Prince and His Stupid Wife’ – not Steerpike’s words – now South Park has dedicated an entire episode to mocking them and their faux pleas for privacy. Throughout the 20-minute episode, the long-running animated comedy’s writers really stuck the sword into Harry and Meghan, who have found themselves the butt of many jokes after their Netflix documentary and Harry’s moany memoir Spare. Just last week at the Grammys, host Trevor Noah said that James Corden was ‘living proof that a man can move from London to LA and not tell everyone about his frostbitten penis’. But in true South Park style – flapping heads, small black eyes and ludicrously over-the-top Canuck accents, eh?

Where there’s death, there’s life. And the departure of Nicola Sturgeon as First Minister after eight years means there’s a vacancy as top dog in the Scottish parliament. Who could replace her? One Panelbase poll conducted last week shows there’s an overwhelming favourite among the various pretenders: ‘don’t know’ took a whopping 69 per cent of the public vote. Fortunately for the SNP, some of their actual elected politicians scored favourably too – though none more than seven per cent. Below is Steerpike’s guide to the most likely runners and riders to succeed Scotland’s nationalist-in-chief, with odds from Ladbrokes. Angus Robertson - 6/5 The bookies’ favourite and a familiar face to Westminster watchers.

Labour has been talking a lot about taxpayers' money in recent days, following the release of their much-hyped 'GPC files' about government procurement cards. There's been much criticism about the use of luxury hotels, fine art and branded merchandise. All good, worthy stuff. But in the interest of balance, Mr S thinks it's worth reminding readers that Labour's leading lights haven't always been the most prudent when it comes to spending taxpayers' money. Steerpike has already highlighted Angela Rayner's decision to put £249 branded Airpods on her parliamentary expenses. And Sir Keir Starmer is not exempt from criticism either. Back when he was Director of Public Prosecutions, he came under fire for claiming more than £250 a day in expenses for a chauffeur driven car.

Stop press: Fleet Street is officially full of sewage. Flicking through the papers this morning, Steerpike was intrigued to see water pollution feature prominently on the front page of both the Times and the i newspapers. 'Water firms to be spared threat of £250m fines' roared the former; 'Sunak facing Tory rebellion over sewage in UK rivers' retorted the latter. Both are worthy stories but neither were splashed across any of the other national newspapers. What's going on? It turns on that the i are keen on the story because on Friday they proudly launched their new campaign to 'Save Britain's Rivers.' It is a new UK-wide drive to rescue the country’s polluted waterways, champion a manifesto for our rivers and features Undertones singer Feargal Sharkey as a prominent spokesman.

We haven't seen much of Andrew Mitchell since his recent promotion and today was perhaps a reminder why. For more than ten years, the onetime Chief Whip languished on the backbenches post-plebgate, until last October Sunak appointed him Minister of State for Development and Africa. It was Mitchell's turn to do the government media round today but it proved to be a pretty tricky outing for the Old Rugbeian. His trenchant criticisms of Boris Johnson's policies came back to haunt him today when Mitchell was asked by the BBC's Laura Kuenssberg  about his punchy past statements on the decision to cut Britain's aid budget from 0.7 per cent of Gross National Income.