I’ll see what the Chancellor has to offer
From our UK edition
‘I’ll see what the Chancellor has to offer.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
Peerless prose
From our UK edition
‘It’s peerless prose’
Sticking to his guns
From our UK edition
‘Netanyahu’s sticking to his guns.’
Wednesday
The Matt Hancock delusion
From our UK edition
Wednesday
They get distressed by what goes on indoors
From our UK edition
‘Keep the humans outside – they get distressed by what goes on indoors.’
Their definition of plagiarism is suspiciously similar to ours
From our UK edition
‘Their definition of plagiarism is suspiciously similar to ours.’
Wednesday
START THE BOATS!
From our UK edition
‘START THE BOATS!’
Are you absolutely sure you want to be a granny?
From our UK edition
‘Are you absolutely sure you want to be a granny?’
Wednesday
Any good with bedbugs?
From our UK edition
‘Any good with bedbugs?’
Wednesday
School bike sheds
From our UK edition
‘We need to do all our smoking before it’s banned’
Wednesday
I’m an HS2 trainspotter
From our UK edition
‘I’m an HS2 trainspotter.’
Wednesday
HS2 drain set
From our UK edition
Any programme ideas that don’t involve humiliating Matt Hancock?
From our UK edition
‘Any programme ideas that don’t involve humiliating Matt Hancock?’
Wednesday
Dr Yes
From our UK edition
‘Usually he’s Dr Yes but he’s on strike.’
I’d like to see how Jeremy Hunt gets out of triple lock pensions
From our UK edition
‘I’d like to see how Jeremy Hunt gets out of triple lock pensions.’
Wednesday
It’s not Lee Anderson’s fault
From our UK edition
‘It’s not Lee Anderson’s fault – it’s his master who can’t control him.’
An escaped prisoner comes as standard
From our UK edition
‘An escaped prisoner comes as standard.’
Wednesday
Gingerbread’s safer than concrete
From our UK edition
‘Gingerbread’s safer than concrete.’
Thursday
Ofsted inspector
From our UK edition
You don’t have to identify as a cat to be a teacher’s pet
From our UK edition
‘You don’t have to identify as a cat to be a teacher’s pet.’