Nick Newman

‘I’m doing workshy experience.’

‘Oh no – I got hideously drunk and posted something moderate and inoffensive!’

‘I never thought I’d catch a glimpse of an actual royal residence.’

‘Call me a wolf and I’ll have you arrested!’

‘You go down the rabbit hole – I’ll stick with social media.’

‘How racist can I be for a grand?’

‘Dad, I hope you’re not using ChatGPT to write my essay!’

‘Is this the interval or are they on strike?’

‘Relax – it isn’t ultra processed.’

‘After all they’ve been through, you have to admire the resilience of the British people.’

‘All present and politically correct, Sah!’

‘So what’s new? People become Christians to avoid going somewhere unpleasant.’

‘Four years on from leaving Europe, how’s it going?’