All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me
From our UK edition
‘All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
Sturgeon at bay
From our UK edition
Wednesday
I’m rehearsing for the coronation
From our UK edition
‘I’m rehearsing for the coronation.’
Wednesday
Labour dirty tricks dept.
From our UK edition
They should withdraw the whip
From our UK edition
‘Given your links to gambling, they should withdraw the whip.’
The junior doctors are on strike
From our UK edition
‘The junior doctors are on strike so you’ll have to wait for your misdiagnosis.’
Tuesday
I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use
From our UK edition
‘I’ve got writer’s block – I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use.’
I’m sorry, but for me blind casting just doesn’t work
From our UK edition
‘I’m sorry, but for me blind Nick newcasting just doesn’t work.’
Wednesday
Souvenir from Paris
From our UK edition
‘We brought you back a souvenir from Paris’
No need to forgive me
From our UK edition
‘No need to forgive me, Father, for my advisers assured me I haven’t sinned.’
Wednesday
Mr Punch will get a knighthood
From our UK edition
‘I expect Mr Punch will get a knighthood.’
Police operating in this area
From our UK edition
Thursday
Which author would you like to cancel?
From our UK edition
‘Which author would you like to cancel?’
School photo
From our UK edition
Wednesday
The case against Boris Johnson
From our UK edition
‘It’s the case against Boris Johnson’
Wednesday
If you really loved me
From our UK edition
‘If you really loved me you would have got me a tomato.’
Wednesday
I accept you saw Elvis
From our UK edition
‘I accept you saw Elvis – I just don’t believe he had a tomato.’
Wednesday
It must be very taxing
From our UK edition
You’re just miffed
From our UK edition
‘You’re just miffed because the King hasn’t invited you to the coronation.’
Wednesday
Let’s hope he hasn’t got into bed with another publisher
From our UK edition
‘Let’s hope he hasn’t got into bed with another publisher.’
