‘It’s like the surface of the A12 outside Romford.’
From our UK edition
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
Wednesday
‘Let us pay.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘Nigella’s a safe pair of entendres’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
You can tell the Chinese government that we strongly object to their super embassy
From our UK edition
‘I’ve come as Sheriff Jenrick.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
We’re doing Dry January – giving up water and sticking to alcohol
From our UK edition
‘It’s America Thirst.’
From our UK edition
Monday
You haven’t got a lot on, Sire
From our UK edition
‘Keir Starmer surviving has given me great hope for the future!’
From our UK edition
Monday
‘He’s not getting another present until we get a thank-you letter!’
From our UK edition
‘Is our flu coming to you, or is your flu coming to us?’
From our UK edition
Saturday
‘Are you a reliable news service or a propaganda outlet?’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘It’s undermining justice, deciding if I’m naughty or nice without a jury.’
From our UK edition
This black hole, Chancellor – is it in the room with us now?
From our UK edition