Free school meal
‘The free school meal is so bad my daughter refuses to photograph it.’
Nick Newman
Thursday
Thursday
No thanks, I’m too tiered
‘No thanks, I’m too tiered.’
Thursday
I hope by March I’ll remember how to bunk off
‘I hope by March I’ll remember how to bunk off.’
Thursday
Take your temperatiure
‘I need to take your temperature.’
Thursday
I’ll be gutted
‘Whatever the Brexit deal outcome, I’ll be gutted!’
Thursday
Hooray! Now we can die from something else!
‘Hooray! Now we can die from something else!’
Thursday
Special adviser advent calendar
‘Each day reveals a special adviser who resigns.’
Thursday
The peerless social satire of Pont of Punch
Eighty years ago this month, the cartoonist Graham Laidler — better known as Pont — died of polio. He contracted the disease while evacuating refugees from London in his car. He was only 32. In 1940, thousands of people were dying in the war, but Pont’s death was marked by an appreciation from J.B. Priestley
I find a graph a lot scarier
‘I find a graph a lot scarier.’
Margin of error
‘What’s the margin of terror?’
Thursday
When I saw lockdown coming
‘When I saw lockdown coming I headed straight for the barbers.’
Thursday
This eternity
‘This eternity has been going on for what seems like a lockdown!’
Thursday
Lovely tier
‘We’ll take it — it’s in a lovely tier.’
Thursday
I’ve got a mask
‘Don’t worry, I’ve got a mask.’
Thursday
Yule turn
‘Relax, there’s bound to be a Yule turn.’
Thursday
Rule of six
‘At least it won’t affect the Lib Dem conference.’
The good news is you can stop
‘The good news is you can stop worrying about a no-deal Brexit.’
Thursday
If anyone’s going, it’s Sneezy
‘If anyone’s going, it’s Sneezy.’
It’s just great to be back at the office
‘It’s just great to be back at the office.’
Thursday
You’ll grow into it
‘You’ll grow into it.’
