Monarch of the Glen
Nick Newman
Thursday
Thursday
Parents don’t think you’re being stretched enough
‘Your parents don’t think you’re being stretched enough.’
We’re in the school catchment area
‘Oh no! We’re in the school catchment area.’
The land of our dreams
‘We’re almost at the land of our dreams – I can smell the raw sewage.’
Thursday
Thursday
It’s like being in government but with more to do
‘It’s like being in government but with more to do.’
Thursday
That’s global warming for you
‘That’s global warming for you.’
Thursday
I’m a championship-winning footballer
‘I’m a championship-winning footballer trapped in a man’s body.’
If they shouldn’t be here
‘If they shouldn’t be here, we should send them to Rwanda.’
Thursday
The booster seat
‘The booster seat’s for Lord Wilf.’
Thursday
How does your garden grow?
‘Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow?’
Thursday
Lulu Lytle
‘I expect Lulu Lytle will be overly decorated.’
Our leader’s decided to cling on
‘Our leader’s decided to cling on.’
Thursday
Never mix grain and grope
‘Never mix grain and grope.’
Thursday
When you promised me a treehouse I knew it would never happen
‘When you promised me a treehouse I knew it would never happen.’
An unlikely couple
‘I always said Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall made an unlikely couple.’
Taking money from Qatar
‘I expect you think I’m bonkers for taking money from Qatar.’
Thursday
Swim competitively
‘If you wish to swim competitively it’ll have to be in a separate category.’
Thursday
Crop circles
‘Whatever else, rewilding has ruined crop circles!’
