I keep forgetting if I’ve misplaced classified documents
From our UK edition
‘I keep forgetting if I’ve misplaced classified documents.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
Unflinching memoir
From our UK edition
‘Will this be a kiss-and-tell in an unflinching memoir?’
Wednesday
I’m doing work experience
From our UK edition
‘I’m doing work experience, but I’m on strike.’
Monday
Naighty or nice
From our UK edition
‘Let’s check whether you’ve been naughty or nice.’
Extra money in the pudding
From our UK edition
‘I trust there’s 11 per cent extra money in the pudding.’
Friday
‘Unfunded giveaways? Are you insane?’
From our UK edition
‘Unfunded giveaways? Are you insane?’
I can’t stop the doors opening
From our UK edition
‘I can’t stop the doors opening.’
Wednesday
There’s going to be a chronic shortage of Tories
From our UK edition
‘There’s going to be a chronic shortage of Tories.’
If the unions can make a comeback there’s hope for us all
From our UK edition
‘If the unions can make a comeback there’s hope for us all.’
Wednesday
You can only see Doc via Zoom
From our UK edition
‘You can only see Doc via Zoom.’
It’s only a matter of time
From our UK edition
‘It’s only a matter of time before Nicola Sturgeon gives us our independence.’
Thursday
Bird flu crisis
From our UK edition
‘I’m not taking any chances.’
Thursday
Matt Hancock in the jungle
From our UK edition
‘Oh no! It’s a love rat!’
Thursday
Services to Trussonomics
From our UK edition
‘…for services to Trussonomics…’
You have seven seconds on the Liz Truss premiership
From our UK edition
‘You have seven seconds on the Liz Truss premiership, starting now…’
Thursday
Political stability
From our UK edition
‘We’re off to Italy for a spot of political stability.’
This is a stick-up
From our UK edition
‘This is a stick-up.’
Thursday
Scare off the migrants
From our UK edition
‘It’s to scare off the migrants.’
Thursday
The magic money tree
From our UK edition
‘If the magic money tree doesn’t make a dash for growth, we’ve had it.’
Getting Britain moving
From our UK edition
‘The Tories have certainly done their bit in getting Britain moving.’