French poodle
From our UK edition
‘Our French poodle keeps setting fire to our car.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
Paris autos
From our UK edition
‘It goes from 0-100°C in under six seconds.’
How’s exile going
From our UK edition
‘How’s exile going, Comrade Progozhin?’
Wednesday
If it’s pain you’re after
From our UK edition
‘If it’s pain you’re after...’
Wednesday
and my thanks to Boris
From our UK edition
‘... and my thanks to Boris Johnson, without whom...’
Sorry, I’ve already sold my soul to the Saudis
From our UK edition
‘Sorry, I’ve already sold my soul to the Saudis.’
Wednesday
Gingerbread doesn’t appeal to the kiddies any more
From our UK edition
‘Gingerbread doesn’t appeal to the kiddies any more.’
This has all got a bit out of hand
From our UK edition
‘This has all got a bit out of hand.’
Wednesday
I’m doing woke experience
From our UK edition
‘I’m doing woke experience.’
Wednesday
I can’t wait to spoil my first ballot paper
From our UK edition
‘I can’t wait to spoil my first ballot paper.’
Wednesday
I’ve sent for all the King’s pharmacists
From our UK edition
‘I’ve sent for all the King’s pharmacists.’
Wednesday
All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me
From our UK edition
‘All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me.’
Wednesday
Sturgeon at bay
From our UK edition
Wednesday
I’m rehearsing for the coronation
From our UK edition
‘I’m rehearsing for the coronation.’
Wednesday
Labour dirty tricks dept.
From our UK edition
They should withdraw the whip
From our UK edition
‘Given your links to gambling, they should withdraw the whip.’
The junior doctors are on strike
From our UK edition
‘The junior doctors are on strike so you’ll have to wait for your misdiagnosis.’
Tuesday
I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use
From our UK edition
‘I’ve got writer’s block – I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use.’
I’m sorry, but for me blind casting just doesn’t work
From our UK edition
‘I’m sorry, but for me blind Nick newcasting just doesn’t work.’
Wednesday
Souvenir from Paris
From our UK edition
‘We brought you back a souvenir from Paris’
