‘Of course it’s expensive – it tastes like petrol.’
‘Of course it’s expensive – it tastes like petrol.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
‘They’ll crucify him for this’
‘They’ll crucify him for this’
Wednesday
‘Just when you think the doctors’ strike is over, it comes back.’
‘Just when you think the doctors’ strike is over, it comes back.’
‘If you have to ask the price you can’t afford it.’
‘If you have to ask the price you can’t afford it.’
Tuesday
‘If you can remember the 1922 Committee you weren’t there.’
‘If you can remember the 1922 Committee you weren’t there.’
‘These free handouts are a betrayal of hardworking taxpayers!’
‘These free handouts are a betrayal of hardworking taxpayers!’
Wednesday
‘Fire, ambulance, or Kemi Badenoch?’
‘Fire, ambulance, or Kemi Badenoch?’
Thursday
I’m bunking off from home school
‘I’m bunking off from home school.’
Wednesday
‘Today’s objective is to establish an objective.’
‘Today’s objective is to establish an objective.’
Wednesday
‘I fear they’ll come back to Britain.’
‘I fear they’ll come back to Britain.’
‘Prepare to drop incendiary Green party policies!’
‘Prepare to drop incendiary Green party policies!’
Wednesday
The good news is you’re one step closer to the throne
‘The good news is you’re one step closer to the throne.’
Wednesday
‘One drop of dart frog toxin and you croak.’
‘One drop of dart frog toxin and you croak.’
‘It’s like the surface of the A12 outside Romford.’
‘It’s like the surface of the A12 outside Romford.’
Wednesday
Bringing Peter Mandelson back from the dead was always going to end in disaster
‘Bringing Peter Mandelson back from the dead was always going to end in disaster.’
Thursday
‘The bloody women tennis players are demanding equal bribes to the men.’
From our US edition
‘The bloody women tennis players are demanding equal bribes to the men.’
Wednesday
‘Let us pay.’
‘Let us pay.’
Wednesday
‘Nigella’s a safe pair of entendres’
‘Nigella’s a safe pair of entendres’
Friday
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
From our US edition
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
