Melanie McDonagh

The other day a nice Albanian builder came round. He was in an upbeat mood because his son had been admitted to Cardinal Vaughan, a London school for which the optimum Ofsted rating of 'outstanding' probably doesn't suffice. The school has got one of the best heads in England in Paul Stubbings, a choir, the Schola, which is- as excellent as any in the country and a reputation for tough discipline and good pastoral care which draws parents like bees to a jam pot. The upshot is, as the nice builder observed, there were 1,000 applicants for that year's places. Now, he wasn't religious himself, from a Muslim family in Kosovo, but his wife was Polish and Catholic.

Granted, I could be a beneficiary of the latest guidance from the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) about women going through the menopause. It advises employers to make 'reasonable adjustments' for women who experience symptoms such as broken sleep, brain fog and hot flushes (viz, most of us). This includes possibly relaxing uniform requirements, lowering the temperature in the office, providing quiet areas and protecting the menopausal from humorous observations about any of the above from their colleagues. It's preposterous guidance from a body which has little notion of the realities of a workplace that isn't publicly funded. These suggestions will end up pathologising the human condition – at least, as it affects half the population.

By and large the London transport system is pretty unremarkable in terms of names. Unlike the Paris metro on which stops are sometimes named after battles (like Sébastopol) or individuals (Franklin D Roosevelt) a line or a stop in the London network is normally noncommittal. The Northern line, self-explanatory; the Metropolitan for the oldest line. The nearest anyone got to politicising the network was Waterloo station and the naming of the Jubilee line after the late Queen's Silver Jubilee, and the Elizabeth line also after her.  That was, until now. TfL has named six of its hitherto anonymous overground lines - the twin objectives being to help passengers get round the system and ‘showcasing London's rich diversity.’  So, what do we get?

Well, it’s a pig of a coincidence to have Ash Wednesday coinciding with Valentine’s Day. So, at the start of Lent, on the very day that traditionalists are allowed one light meal and two collations – basically less of everything and no meat – you’re meant to be celebrating the love stuff, always supposing you’re of an age. There are ways round this. First, remember that fish is fine. Oysters, that well known aphrodisiac, are absolutely legitimate; ditto lobster. You can’t really feel that hard done by if you’re putting away Coquilles St Jacques for two.  Or else you could always go vegan. It’s not often you want to embrace the no meat, no dairy, no joy, regime, but Lent is absolutely a time for it.

Quite a number of people have been asking what Caroline Nokes MP is doing in the Conservative party after her very odd appearance on Newsnight on Thursday. She was meant to be discussing the asylum status of Abdul Ezedi, the sole suspect in the horrific Clapham alkali attack which left a mother with life-altering injuries and her two daughters in hospital. His asylum status – he was granted asylum the third time he asked after claiming to have converted to Christianity and therefore to be at risk of persecution in Afghanistan – was quite an issue, given that, in 2018, he was found guilty of a sex offence. Something there for the chair of the women and equalities committee to get her teeth into, no? Nope.

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) this week threatened to use punitive measures against doctors who report late-term abortions to the police.  Normally, medics have to respect patient confidentiality, but they can report individuals if it's in the public interest. But now the college is saying in its latest guidance that any medic who reports their concerns to police must 'justify' the disclosure of patient data or else could face ‘fitness to practise’ investigations. The RCOG’s president Dr Ranee Thakar said it's ‘never in the public interest’ to investigate or prosecute these cases. Where a foetus is capable of surviving outside the womb, we're talking about a very unpleasant reality That's plainly not true.

Along with the Oxford University Press Word of the Year – usually something you'd never say yourself – and the Pantone Colour of the Year (seriously, has anyone ever asked for a revolting shade called Peach Fuzz?) there is rather an interesting index of our annual concerns: the Children's Word of the Year. The exercise has been going on since 2014: the Oxford English Dictionary people ask children for a word to sum up the year. This year, it's 'climate change' followed by 'war'. Yep, adult concerns being foisted on our unfortunate young folk. And I can hear you now: blame Greta Thunberg. Actually, it turns out that children's words have been getting progressively more serious for some time.