Melanie McDonagh

According to canon 1220 of the Catholic church's code of canon law, 'all those responsible are to take care that in churches such cleanliness and beauty are preserved as befit a house of God and that whatever is inappropriate to the holiness of the place is excluded'. So, if Canterbury cathedral were still Catholic, as it was for 900 years before the discordant event of the Reformation, it is fair to say that the ghost of Thomas Becket would not have been disturbed by the rave in the nave which took place last night and is repeated tonight.

So, another place where men have to mind their language: on mountains. In an article in Scottish Mountaineer magazine by one Dr Richard Tiplady, he advises male walkers never to call women ‘sweetheart’ or ‘darling’. They should not assume that women can’t read a map. ‘If they ask for advice about kit or their route, be polite without being condescending – but don’t offer advice if you’re not asked for it’.  If we carry on at this rate, the human race is going to die out A brief chat about hills, the weather and the man’s intended route is fine, but ‘don’t ask what route they are taking’. If a male walker catches up with a lone woman walker, the rule is a brief ‘hello’, and then onwards.

On the bright side, Nuala McGovern isn’t Emma Barnett, she of the combative approach to broadcasting. The new presenter of Woman’s Hour is a bright, cheerful experienced broadcaster. She’s Irish, spent time in Italy and America, and has lived and worked in the UK for many years. She covered for Emma B when she was on maternity leave and did well. Mind you, I’ve been going out of my way to avoid Woman’s Hour for years now, with some success. The whole notion of a daily broadcast specially for the ladies seems downright odd, but since it’s now firmly embedded in the schedule, it’s not much use complaining.

There’s one way of getting the look of the Chelsea Flower show winner, Ula Maria’s forest bathing garden, and that’s not to mow your lawn but let the flowers and long grass spring up. 'This is not,' I would say austerely to the neighbours if they hang over the wall to suggest a man who could cut the grass, 'an unkempt and neglected space; it is immersive, relaxing and calming'. Actually, that would be pushing it given that most people’s grassy area lacks flint, a blue shed and trees, but you get the gist. And one of the important aspects of this garden, according to Liz Nicholson, the chair of the judges, is that it created 'possibly the biggest insect habitat I’ve ever seen' – in Chelsea, presumably.

Curious, isn’t it, how sentiment changes on a critical issue all of a sudden? Not so long ago, the prospect of turning a blind eye to someone who carried out an abortion in the last trimester of pregnancy – that is, on a foetus of six to nine months’ gestation – would have seemed unthinkable. Is this trend towards liberalising abortion really a sign of progress?  At present, the only circumstances in which you can abort a foetus after 24 weeks is if the mother's life is at risk or the child would be born with a ‘severe’ disability (which has included cleft palate and hare lips, remediable conditions) – which is itself pretty hard to square with the spirit of equalities legislation, as Liam Fox points out.

St Patrick’s Day is coming up and you know what that means… a Shamrock Shake at Starbucks, featuring those well-known Irish ingredients vanilla, mint and green tea. And then there’s the Paddy’s Day merch: shamrocks again. If the Princess of Wales as Colonel of the Irish guards turns up to celebrate the day, she’ll be sporting a sprig of it the size of a small broccoli. What could be better as a symbol of all things Irish than this botanical metaphor for the Trinity? Because, as we all know, it was St Patrick who, to describe the triune God to the native Irish, picked a shamrock to demonstrate the Three Persons in one God.

It's too late to get tickets for Canterbury Cathedral's silent disco tonight – as with last night's event, they sold out long ago – but you can still join the orderly prayer vigil against this caricature of the contemporary Church of England. Some 750 clubbers are expected to attend each of the four events over two days, to dance in the nave to hits from Britney Spears, the Spice Girls and Eminem. They'll party the night away not far away from where Thomas a Becket was murdered in 1170 as he clung to a pillar; his brains and blood mixed on the floor. His shrine is somewhere nearby. Oh, and alcohol will be available for revellers. This martyrdom site was once the second most popular pilgrimage destination in the Middle Ages.