Melanie McDonagh

A friend of mine who commissions book reviews has added a sub-category to the list of titles coming up: ‘femtrend’, books about the female condition from a feminist perspective. ‘Grit lit is over,’ she says wearily, referring to edgy books about the marginalised. ‘Now publishers can’t get enough of the feminist trend about women who for centuries have been airbrushed out of history by toxic masculinity and oppressive patriarchy. Airbrushing the toxic white male. Female tribes. Modern courtesan. Now it’s draining down into children’s books too.

About three days ago, most of us wouldn’t have had much notion what upskirting was; now we are, I think, all very alive to the reality that there are creeps, pervs and predators who like to put their mobile phones up women’s skirts or dresses and take pictures of their crotch. And I think we are all at one in considering this is an outrageous thing to do. Nem con, so far, I’d say. Mrs May, for her part, has made clear that she’s very down on this sort of thing too, which is always nice to know. The question is not whether upskirting is gross; it’s whether it requires an entirely new criminal offence, potentially punishable by two years’ imprisonment and/or a place on the Sex Offenders register, or whether the existing laws will cover it.

Sir Christopher Chope is not, perhaps, a household name, but he is a man of quite considerable courage. By raising an objection to the preposterous private member’s bill, brought by Wera Hobhouse, a LibDem MP, to make upskirting – taking pictures up girls’ skirts -  a specific criminal offence, he has seen off a bill which was a preposterous waste of time. The Government and Wera H has been hoping to get through the bill on the nod but it could only happen if no one in the chamber had the bad taste to object to it being passed without debate.

Quite a long time, five seconds, when you count it. And ever since Netflix reportedly warned its employees not to stare at a colleague for longer than that, the paradoxical effect is, inevitably, to make you stare and count. The company’s new guideline is, of course, all part of corporate America’s response to the #MeToo scandal and if the Netflix directive is anything to go by, it’s going to result in the human race dying out in the US, because no one will be able to make a pass at anyone else, ever. It’s not that the individual prohibitions are onerous or particularly unreasonable; it’s that the collective effect can only be to make men – because it’s not aimed at women, is it?

Eamon de Valera used to say that if he wanted to know the true feelings of the people of Ireland he needed only to look into his own heart. You could say the same about Paul Dacre, shortly to step down as editor of the Daily Mail. When it comes to the sentiments of Middle England, or at least quite a bit of it, he knows what it loves and fears because those are his own sentiments. He doesn’t second guess his readers; he is properly authentic. I knew him from his brief, two year stint at the Evening Standard, and he was the best editor I have ever worked for, and I say as much even though I got my only ever written warning from him (deservedly). He knew exactly what he wanted and he was clear about how to get it.

Well, a star is born. I refer to the Rt Rev Michael Curry, bishop of that vanishingly rare breed, the American Episcopal Church, who stole the show at the royal wedding. Anyone who can make Elton John look like that  – sort of a nonplussed toad  – and generate barely suppressed mirth in the congregation to the extent it wasn’t clear whether the Prince of Wales was laughing or crying or trying not to do either, is quite some preacher. He may be Anglican but there was an awful lot of Pentecostalist in there. The other star turn was the young cellist, Sheku Kanneh-Mason, the Jacqueline du Pre of Britain’s Got Talent; again, big on feeling.

My late father was a pottery maker, and very good at it. Question is, if a Northern Protestant had come to his studio to request that he produce a teaset decorated with the legend: ‘Taigs Out of Ulster!’ or ‘Kick the Pope!’ perhaps with decoration to match, would my daddy have been obliged to oblige him on the basis that he was offering to make ceramics for all comers, regardless of their religious persuasion? Would the production of Protestant ceramics have been part of his offer to the teaset-buying community? Or could he have declined on the basis that this was offensive to his beliefs as a non-practising Roman Catholic?

So, Alfie Evans has died. His father, Tom Evans, said on his Facebook page that his little boy had ‘laid down his shield and taken up his wings’... and ‘we are absolutely heartbroken’. So, the judges have got their way; Alder Hey hospital has got its way; the child died on the terms of the authorities, not on those of his parents. Almost certainly, Alfie would have died whatever course had been taken this week. No one disputes the severity of his neurological condition. And indeed, in previous generations, children in Alfie’s conditions would have died long before this; his case is only possible because of medical advances. And obviously, withdrawing life support is not murder... using extraordinary means to sustain life goes beyond the duty of doctors.

So, Tom Evans, Alfie Evans’ father, seems to have conceded defeat after the Court of Appeal ruled that he could not take his child to Italy, where a hospital has agreed to do its best to treat him. He told reporters today: “We got rejected yesterday to go to Italy unfortunately. We could take it further but would it be the right thing to do? So what we do today is have a meeting with the doctors at Alder Hey and we now start asking to go home…it’s all about getting him home”. Will that do for those who know better than the parents what they should be doing to help their son? Yesterday, Lord Justice McFarlane, head of the Court of Appeal judges, said Alfie’s parents were trying to take “one last chance”.

There was a poignant bit of the Telegraph’s coverage of today’s happy event: “Everything we know so far after Duchess of Cambridge gives birth to boy”, it promised. Except that’s it. There is very little more to be said except perhaps the weight, 8lb 7oz – it’s at times like this we all revert to imperial measures – and the speed with which the Duchess left hospital, eight hours after the birth. That’s it. That’s all there is to say, except to remark that Kate’s going home dress with its lace collar was interestingly reminiscent of a dress that Princess Diana wore after one of her births, only hers is red, not blue. And the name. Rarely are so many words expended on an event that requires so few.