Lloyd Evans

Indyref dominated today’s PMQs. The Supreme Court has ruled out Nicola Sturgeon’s plan for a wildcat referendum, she must now proceed with Westminster’s blessing. Howls of outrage were heard from the SNP. Eight of its members stood up to complain that they felt trapped in the union against their will.  Rarely have the Scots Nats made such a splash at PMQs and their exposure today did them no favours. When a party surges in popularity, the quality of its MPs declines and it’s clear that many safe Scottish seats have fallen into the hands of incompetent duffers. Few SNP members in Westminster can craft a memorable phrase. Some struggle to ask a brief question without notes. Many are lifelong gym-dodgers. And their personal stylings are eccentric.

Jeremy Hunt – known to broadcasters by a slightly different surname) – delivered his Autumn Statement today. He did so on behalf of ‘the British,’ he said. All the way through his speech, it was British this, British that. He vowed to ‘respond to an international crisis with British values,’ whatever that means. He talked of ‘a recession made in Russia but a recovery made in Britain.’ And he claimed, rather eerily, that ‘to be British is to be compassionate,’ as if this were a heritable quality conferred by evolution on one race alone. It sounded like jingoism fuelled by globalist arrogance. On and on he flannelled. ‘British innovation…British resilience…turning Britain into the world’s next Silicon Valley.

Global Rishi was absent from PMQs today. He’s busy reclining in a supersonic airline seat, paid for by someone else, as he flies back from the G20 summit, preceded by a stint at Cop27. The aim of these endless conferences is to protect us all from the curse of low taxes, falling energy bills and national sovereignty. And the negotiations are said to be going well. As he jets needlessly around the world, campaigning to stop others from jetting needlessly around the world, Rishi is probably unaware of the petty squabbles that occupy MPs. Meanwhile, on planet earth, this is a Very Special Week in Parliament. It has its own designation and it highlights a glaring social injustice. However, which of us can actually name the important cause which is being promoted?

Has Matt Hancock gone mad? Maybe not. His appearance in ‘I’m A Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here’ is part of a career move that could work well. Converting notoriety into fame pays dividends. Look at Ed Balls and Michael Portillo. Political failures, but they discovered gold on TV. A lot of observers loathe Hancock precisely because his plan may prosper.  The balding Tarzan arrived in the jungle later than most of the celebs. And he was welcomed with a show of warmth and friendliness by his fellow castaways. Smiles and happy greetings all round. Someone called out ‘next slide please!’ and Hancock duly repeated his famous slogan. He knows the game.

For the past fortnight, it was Suella Braverman. Now it’s Sir Gavin Williamson. The media aims to destroy two careers a month, on average, and the present quest to topple Sir Gavin has already produced a result. He’s gone. But that’s not enough. It never is. The new clamour is for the nasty knight to be stripped of his title and reduced to plain old Mr Williamson. At PMQs, the resignation was problematic for Sir Keir because he had to argue over a dead parrot. He quoted Sir Gavin’s unhelpful suggestion to a colleague that he should ‘slit his own throat.’ It might have served Sir Keir better to conceal the phrase and to describe it as too shocking and violent to bear repetition. Once he’d quoted the words, his attack lost oomph.

The small boats have landed. PMQs was dominated by the migration issue and the flotillas of dinghies struggling across the channel each day. So far this year over 40,000 doughty oarsmen have braved the seas in inflatable rafts. And they’re not just desperate to flee France with its rude waiters, pretentious language and over-complicated cheese menus. There’s another motive. We were about to hear it in plain language from the despatch box.  Sir Keir started it. At first he merely sought to destabilise Suella Braverman and reinforce the clamour for her removal.  ‘The Home secretary says our asylum system is broken. Who broke it?’ he asked.  Rishi Sunak, usually lightening-quick, paused for a second. ‘Let’s look at the record on immigration,’ he said.