‘Maybe leave out the bit about the barbecue.’
From our UK edition
KJ Lamb
Wednesday
Wednesday
‘Ron prefers horizontal drinking.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘Do I have to spell it out? Because I can’t.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘You are banned for contravening our safeguarding policy.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘He’s not the messiah, he’s a very northern boy.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Une hosepipe
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘You call that a great fall?’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘I’ve redacted in order to protect identities.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘He’s been sent home for politicising the egg and spoon race.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Wednesday
Guess the name of the next PM
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘I’m sorry, Marjorie – I just don’t have the headspace for this.’
From our UK edition
‘Norman would like you to set a timetable for your departure.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘This is Kevin – my personal shoplifter.’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
Tuesday
‘Would you like a non-overtly-Christian hot bun?’
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘So, what’s our next move?’
From our UK edition
Thursday
‘It’s a rough area.’
From our UK edition
This is Miss Stapleforth, in charge of the pupils’ predicted grades
From our UK edition
Wednesday
‘Well everyone – Norman’s definitely a man.’
From our UK edition
