Kipper Williams

‘Please stop waving that fan – it’s very distracting when I’m trying to text.’

‘Follow me, Larry.’

‘I’ve got a tie!’

Portrait of an artist

Reality TV

‘Do you really need that pint of lager before an early-morning flight?’

Beer £10 a pint

‘Incuriouser and incuriouser.’

Lunar South Pole

Which animal should feature on banknotes?

That’ll cost Zack Polanski the divorced dad vote

Honorable and trusting

Seating plan

From our US edition

Seating plan

Plot to oust Starmer

Cracker

This bears no relation to independent forecasts

‘All that mansplaining was a waste of time.’

‘Is that a Banksy on the wall or have we had a visit from Peter Mandelson?’