Damian Thompson

Phew! I was worried that the smear campaign against Cardinal George Pell mounted by the pigs at the Vatican trough would persuade Pope Francis to water down Pell's plan to impose proper accounting procedures on the Curia. But today Francis published the legal framework for the reform and – well, I can't improve on the reporting of the Vatican correspondent of Crux website, Inés San Martín: Pope Francis decided the future of his financial reform on Tuesday, issuing a new legal framework for three key oversight bodies that largely confirm the authority of the man he put in charge of his clean-up operation, controversial Australian Cardinal George Pell.

Ever since Cardinal George Pell was appointed by Pope Francis to clean up the Vatican's finances, I knew a hit job was coming; and I was doubly certain when he spoke up for orthodox cardinals when their views were being trashed by the liberal organisers of the chaotic 'Carry On Synod' on the Family. The Sydney Morning Herald, no fan of Pell in his days as Archbishop of Sydney, has accused him of 'living it up at the Holy See's expense'. They cite leaked documents purporting to show he rented an office and apartment in Rome at a cost of £2,580 a month – which, unless I've got the figures wrong, isn't very expensive. Plus £1,270 on 'religious robes'. Oh, for God's sake.

Dr Derek Yach has done more than any man alive to eradicate smoking. A former professor of global health at Yale, he developed the World Health Organisation's Framework Convention on Tobacco Control, now in effect in almost 180 countries. He has relentlessly drawn attention to the slippery tactics of the tobacco industry, which promotes its products while ostensibly lending its support to anti-smoking campaigns. But his article in today's Spectator Health breaks ranks with former colleagues in the WHO, which disapproves of e-cigarettes and other vaping products. Their 'intransigence' threatens the lives of millions, he argues. As matters stand, a billion people will die from smoking-related diseases by 2100.

Question Time last night. My colleague Cristina Odone of the Legatum Institute  is explaining that 'some of the most inspiring teachers who taught me were not out of teacher training college... they taught real values'. And a snooty, taunting voice interrupts her. 'But these were nuns. They were nuns, weren't they?' That word 'nun' was larded with contempt. The voice belonged to the Honourable Tristram Hunt, the square-jawed narcissist who serves Ed Miliband as shadow education secretary and cannot conceal his desire to succeed him. This is the same Dr Hunt who wants to clamp down on five-year-olds using the word 'gay' inappropriately. Presumably he's also opposed, quite rightly, to talking sneeringly about Muslim women wearing the hijab.

[audioplayer src="http://traffic.libsyn.com/spectator/TheViewFrom22_5_Feb_2015_v4.mp3" title="Brendan O'Neill and Cambridge Union president Tim Squirrell debate the new political correctness" startat=33] Listen [/audioplayer]I wonder how many of you know that you’re cis. Not very many, I’m guessing. So let me break this gently. You are almost certainly cis. It is short for ‘cisgendered’, which means that you ‘identify’ with the gender you were assigned at birth. To put it in everyday language, you were born male and are still male, or were born female and are still female. Roughly 99.7 per cent of human beings — including gays, lesbians and bisexuals — are cisgender.

When Ofsted inspectors allegedy asked primary-age girls at Grindon Hall Christian School, Sunderland, whether they knew what lesbians did in bed, they (apparently) received insufficiently detailed answers. Also, pupils displayed scant knowledge of Hindu festivals. Now the free school has been placed in special measures. It may be that Grindon Hall is a nest of Christian fundamentalist bigotry. I rather doubt it, though. Likewise, I'm unconvinced – to put it mildly – that St Benedict's Catholic comprehensive, Bury St Edmonds, 'failed to promote British values' by neglecting citizenship classes. A better explanation comes to mind. Having claimed the scalp of Michael Gove, 'the Blob' is bouncing jubilantly around the Department for Education.

Catholics should not breed like rabbits and gender theory is a bit like the Hitler Youth. Yup, the Supreme Pontiff is giving another of his in-flight interviews and yet again he leaves everyone shaking their heads: 'He said what?' Now, let's be clear. Francis reaffirmed Catholic teaching on birth control (sort of) while observing that 'God gives you methods to be responsible. Some think that – excuse the word – that in order to be good Catholics we have to be like rabbits. No.' I know what he means. I think. Contraception and family planning are fine so long as you don't artificially block procreation. But the subliminal and unintended messages are (a) that Catholics have a reputation for breeding like rabbits and (b) birth control is OK, full stop.

Just before Christmas, virtually unnoticed by the media, the German Catholic bishops made a plea for the readmission of divorced and remarried Catholics (or Catholics married to divorcees) to Holy Communion. That it should be the Germans, led by Cardinal Reinhard Marx – Archbishop of Munich, president of the German bishops' conference and coordinator of the Vatican's Secretariat for the Economy – is no coincidence. In 1993, the future Cardinals Kasper and Lehmann asked the Vatican to admit couples in irregular marriages to Communion – indeed, to allow these couples to make up their own minds as to whether they should receive the sacrament. Cardinal Ratzinger kicked that proposal, and with it the liberal German Church, into the long grass.

How many of Pope Francis's spiritual diseases do you suffer from? The pontiff laid out no fewer than 15 of them in an 'exchange of Christmas greetings' yesterday. They included 'spiritual Alzheimers', 'existential schizophrenia', 'working too much', 'planning too much', 'working without co-ordination' and, above all, 'the terrorism of gossip'. I did a quick check and found two I definitely don't suffer from: working too much and 'feeling immortal, immune and indispensable'. It reminds me of the narrator of Three Men in a Boat who, on leafing through a medical dictionary in the British Museum, discovers he suffers from every ghastly malady except housemaid's knee.

Cardinal George Pell, the Australian prelate charged by Pope Francis with cleaning up the Vatican's murky finances, has decided to speak bluntly about the appalling corrupt mess he found when he started work this year. Writing in the first issue of the Catholic Herald weekly magazine, out tomorrow, the Prefect of the Secretariat for the Economy – an entirely new post – says he was recently asked by a member of a British parliamentary delegation: 'Why did the authorities allow the situation to lurch along, disregarding modern accounting standards, for so many decades?' His response repays close examination. My emphases in bold.