Cockburn

Cockburn’s invite to the Met Gala must have gotten lost in the mail — so instead he spent Monday night in Washington at the 2021 Bradley Prizes. Well-heeled guests sauntered into the National Building Museum, a rare building in downtown DC that has yet to be ceded to the homeless, or worse, the federal government. The night’s honorees were Federalist senior editor and Fox News mainstay Mollie Ziegler Hemingway, Roger R. Ream, chairman of The Fund for American Studies, and the author Amity Schales. The Bradley Foundation is a Milwaukee-based conservative foundation that, according to its website, 'envisions a nation invigorated by the principles and institutions that uphold our unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness'.

Absent from most headlines on Wednesday was the egging of California recall candidate Larry Elder during a trip to the cockroach-infested district of Venice Beach in LA. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PakVQjHPOyg Less than a week before Californians decide whether or not to sack Gov. Gavin Newsom, Elder's campaign thought it would be a great PR opportunity for the candidate to tour the homeless cesspool of Venice on Wednesday. The visit started with a warm boomer welcome from supporters outside a Gold's Gym as Elder stepped off his black-and-red campaign bus. Things took an unexpected turn when a large group of wet-brained granola munchers and resident crackheads confronted Elder and his convoy as they made their way through Sunset Avenue's dilapidated neighborhood.

It was supposed to be a welcome break from serving as the Biden administration’s stooge. Instead of being the mascot for the Biden administration’s busted border policy, Kamala Harris would get a pleasant little trip to Singapore and Vietnam, to shore up her foreign policy experience just in case, God forbid, the Democratic party has to actually rally behind her as president. But instead of gaining experience, Harris has to worry about US diplomats being shot with a laser beam, or something. Yes, that’s right, the latest incident of Kamala’s ill-starred vice presidency is an outbreak of Havana syndrome. US State Department officials announced that it was investigating a 'possible anomalous health incident’ in Hanoi, the preferred euphemism for the mysterious disease.

It’s a national disgrace, a catastrophe nearly two decades in the making. In a just society, everyone involved would be severely punished, but in the fallen state of modern America there will be no consequences, only more humiliation. Cockburn refers, of course, to Twitter, that monstrous invention where America’s politicians, journalists, ‘experts’, and ordinary people compete with one another to see who can be the most profoundly pathetic, unimpressive, and cringeworthy. Naturally, the ongoing debacle in Afghanistan allowed every player to put in their best performance.

The American right nominally has the support of half the country, but it is its own persistent self-inflicted curse that it appears far weaker and smaller than that. Despite having more than 70 million voters, the right struggles to get them outdoors holding a sign for virtually any cause. At the drop of a tweet, 5,000 liberals can be mustered in almost any city for even the most insane of causes: abolishing police, abolishing Trump, abolishing the internal combustion engine, pretty much anything. If you can think of it, a liberal has probably marched over it. Conservatives, on the other hand, are rather languorous even for important issues and those that directly impact their lives. Cities turning into vast homeless camps? Illegal immigration?

The prodigal son returns without his pants. Hunter Biden, the male heir of the 46th president, was caught hanging brain with a prostitute, again. The creeps over at the Daily Mail obtained the video which was recorded in January 2019. In a chyron, Fox News described the footage of Hunter as ‘new’ and ‘shocking’ — but frankly it’s neither. In the clip, Hunter recounts how he lost a laptop filled with his raunchy sex tapes while passed out in a pool. According to the Daily Mail, the conversation occurred after Biden and the unidentified woman had sex. So romantic. And you thought your pillow talk was awkward. 'They have videos of me doing this. They have videos of me doing like fucking crazy [expletive] sex [expletive],' Biden said in the video.

Caitlyn Jenner's Twitter account is having an identity crisis. It’s not particularly rare for a political campaign to create fake social media accounts to drum up ‘organic’ support online. If anything, it’s a dark open secret. What’s rarer, however, is when a campaign is caught in the act. On Tuesday night, Jenner replied to her own tweet with a message that suggested another Twitter user wrote it. The wannabe California governor first ran into trouble after calling out the current governor Gavin Newsom on Twitter. Jenner responded to a tweet that opposed the state’s recall saying, 'Why? Do you want more unemployment? More from? More illegal immigration bringing COVID? Schools closed? BS! Forget #GavinNewsom.

The Andrew Cuomo groping scandal has finally claimed some scalps. Just not, at the time of writing, Andrew Cuomo’s. Instead, it is #MeToo’s enforcers who are being struck down. On Monday, Roberta Kaplan, chairwoman of Time’s Up and founder of the group’s legal defense fund, submitted her resignation. Kaplan had worked closely with Cuomo’s staff during the investigation, and reviewed a draft op-ed that was intended to disparage the character of Cuomo’s first accuser Lindsey Boylan. On Monday, she was denounced in an online open letter (as people are these days), and her painful public penance came mere hours later. Kaplan’s client, senior Cuomo aide Melissa DeRosa, resigned as well.