Cockburn

Cockburn

Mischief, mayhem and Washington gossip. Send tips and party invites to cockburn@thespectator.com.

The $20 million hunt for the Democrats’ Joe Rogan

From our US edition

Who will be the Democratic party’s Joe Rogan? That is the $20 million question facing the party, as Democrats try to recover from the last election, when the podcasters had the power. Setting aside Rogan’s status as a longtime backer of both the Democrats and Bernie Sanders, the party’s plan to win back heterosexual, cisgender young men reads like a Barnard gender studies thesis. The plan’s codename, SAM, stands for “Speaking with American Men: A Strategic Plan” and sets out to “study the syntax, language and context that gains attention and virality in these spaces.” Some free advice from Cockburn: normal young men don’t use words such as “syntax” in their everyday speech.

How the Big, Beautiful Bill got through the House

From our US edition

At the start of the week, The Spectator wondered how on earth Speaker Mike Johnson would get the Big, Beautiful Bill through the House, in the face of unified Democratic party opposition and seemingly intractable divides on the GOP side. The answer, it turns out, involved copious amounts of alcohol, side deals, naps, late-night staff shifts and the Democratic gerontocracy. Congressman Gerry Connolly’s sudden death on Wednesday shocked Washington. It also proved to be a boon to Johnson’s math. The Speaker ended up with more wiggle room, because one Republican who failed to vote slept through the late-night final tally. After months of debate, the House passed the bill 215-214; it now heads to the Senate, which is poised to change it and send it back.

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The irony of Kim Kardashian and Ivanka Trump’s friendship

From our US edition

Cockburn was amused by the recent spectacle of Kim Kardashian’s law school triumph (after three “baby bar” exams and a grueling 5,184 hours of study) and the subsequent Instagram gushing from her BFF Ivanka Trump. “My favorite law school graduate!” the First Daughter cooed, cementing what must surely rank among Washington’s most peculiar alliances. This improbable friendship between America’s reality TV queen and Trump has flourished over a decade, evolving from perfunctory Met Gala pleasantries to intimate three-hour lunches at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge. The pair reportedly bond over “motherhood” and “shared experiences” – Cockburn assumes the shared experience of juggling billion-dollar empires while tolerating men with problematic Twitter feeds.

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Alina Habba’s Jersey justice

From our US edition

Alina Habba, President Trump’s new United States Attorney for the District of New Jersey, got her first major collar this week: Congresswoman LaMonica McIver, who Habba charged with assaulting, impeding or interfering with law enforcement after a scuffle outside an ICE facility got rowdy. One of McIver’s Republican colleagues in Congress quipped to Cockburn that there are “so many Democrats breaking the law,” yet “so few US Attorneys ready to charge them for it.” Habba’s actions were predictably opposed by all Democrats in Congress, and may already be reshaping the governor’s race in Habba’s home state of New Jersey. Where you sit on this issue determines whether you think McIver is guilty of assaulting ICE agents.

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Has Jake Tapper addressed his messaging problem?

From our US edition

Who knew what about Joe Biden’s mental state and when did they know it? That question has driven a lot of Washington chatter this week, thanks to the upcoming release of Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson’s Original Sin: President Biden’s Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again. Ex-Biden aides, cabinet secretaries and 2028 potentials have been under scrutiny – but so have the book’s authors. Tapper has gone so far as to retain top crisis PR agent Risa Heller, the Breaker newsletter reports. Heller’s clients have included Elizabeth Holmes and Sam Bankman-Fried’s parents. Why does the CNN anchor find himself in such esteemed company in the week of his book launch?

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Joe Biden, the Democrats’ tell-tale heart

From our US edition

How Biden blew it Joe Biden’s final act is to serve as the Democrats’ tell-tale heart. His public appearances are a haunting reminder of the lie told by so many in their party: that there was nothing wrong with the 46th president during his time in office. Biden is on a “don’t call it a comeback” tour ahead of the release of a book from Alex Thompson and Jake Tapper that threatens to reveal the poor physical and mental state the president was in during his time in office. So far we’ve learned that Biden’s “physical deterioration was so severe in 2023 and 2024 that advisors privately discussed the possibility he’d need to use a wheelchair if he won re-election.

Where in the world is Melania Trump?

From our US edition

Melaniabsent Where in the world is Melania Trump? That’s the topic of a dishy piece from the New York Times’s Shawn McCreesh. The First Lady “vanishes from view for weeks at a time, holing up in Trump Tower in Manhattan or in Florida, where she can lie low at Mar-a-Lago,” writes McCreesh. “It’s like having Greta Garbo as first lady.” Despite staffing up the East Wing, “she rarely goes into the office.” It has been suggested that the First Lady would not be spending much time in Washington during her husband’s second term, preferring to be in New York with her son Barron or down in Florida. However, McCreesh writes, “Even regulars at Mar-a-Lago say they don’t often see Mrs. Trump around the premises.

Did Kamala Harris ‘stun’ at the Met Gala?

From our US edition

Met Gala turns @TheDemocrats into @PopCrave Celebrities from the music industry, the NFL and Hollywood joined Kamala Harris at the annual Met Gala fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute. In an embarrassing tweet emulating viral celebrity accounts such as @PopCrave, @TheDemocrats (yes, the official social media account for the entire Democratic party) wrote, “Kamala Harris stuns at the Met Gala.” The defeated presidential candidate wore a black and white dress in a possible homage to Cruella de Vil. Despite the online slavering at DNC HQ, Emily Smith notes elsewhere in The Spectator that Harris’s audience might have been on the other coast.

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How do you get fired from the Trump administration?

From our US edition

Lateral moves instead of scalps in Trump 2.0 “You’re fired” is the phrase that catapulted Donald Trump into the public imagination two decades ago – but it’s something that he seems reticent to tell the people who work in his administration. Trump briefly set the world on fire (again!) after everyone learned that National Security Advisor Mike Waltz was… leaving. One Trumpworld veteran told Cockburn that Waltz’s departure was a “disaster.” While the specifics remain murky, Trump gave Waltz what one administration insider called a “golden parachute” by announcing that Waltz is shipping up to Turtle Bay as America’s next ambassador to the United Nations, nomination pending. The writing was on the wall for Waltz as soon as the Signalgate scandal blew up.

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The Explorers Club, real-life Indiana Joneses

From our US edition

While most of DC was aflutter over the dwindling White House Correspondents’ Association dinner on Saturday night, Cockburn looked north to a different black-tie affair. One whose attendees have the direct inverse sense of self-importance to actual-importance ratio on display at the Washington Hilton.A motley crew of explorers, climbers, deep-sea divers, astronauts, scientists, documentarians and assorted oddballs converged onto the Glasshouse in Manhattan for the 121st annual Explorers Club dinner – and your correspondent was among them. Cockburn is used to being the least distinguished person in the room but was even more so than normal.

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A White House Correspondents’ Dinner hangover

From our US edition

By now, you have surely got a flavor of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and all the accompanying parties that took place over the weekend. After all, the DC media has nothing to talk about other than itself. The President long ago chose not to attend, and that the intimation was that members of his administration should skip the “MSM” events too. There were fewer celebrities than ever – not least because the White House Correspondents’ Association got rid of the comedian who was set to provide the entertainment. The gargantuan TIME after-party – your correspondent saw the entry tally at over 2,470 when he arrived at 11:30 – smelled like feet due to the Raclette on the rear terrace.

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How do we stop the media from talking about itself?

From our US edition

The White House press corps ouroboros If there’s one thing worse than a journalist writing about the media, it’s a journalist writing about other journalists writing about the media. Cockburn hopes you can forgive him for this gross transgression – but White House Correspondents’ Dinner weekend seems as good a time as any to take stock of the very odd relationship between reporters who cover the White House and the President’s press shop. Take Donie O’Sullivan’s CNN segment this week on “Trump-friendly journalists,” in which he speaks to LindellTV’s Cara Castronuova, Real America’s Voice Brian Glenn (aka Marjorie Taylor Greene’s boyfriend) and, of course, War Room’s Natalie Winters, who he groups together as “MAGA Media.

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The ‘Senate Twink’ lands in Oz

From our US edition

A surprising item from Down Under: Aidan Maese-Czeropski, the former Senate staffer who was fired after he and his partner filmed themselves in flagrante delicto on Amy Klobuchar’s desk in Hart 216, has resurfaced in Australia after touring the world. Maese-Czeropski gave an interview to the Gay Sydney News about the fallout from his December 2023 rendezvous – which readers of this newsletter were the first to learn about. Maese-Czeropski, who worked as a legislative assistant for then-senator Ben Cardin of Maryland, says he spent “a little bit in the psych ward” after his firing, before moving to Sydney by way of South Africa, sub-Saharan Africa and the Mediterranean. https://www.instagram.

Senate Twink Aidan Maese-Czeropski

Book Joe Biden for your quinceañera!

From our US edition

Biden his time Cockburn struggles to get inside the mind of a billionaire. You amass or inherit a great fortune and can spend it however you please. You could send your spicy second wife to space with Katy Perry, or import Instagram influencers to your Gulf state. But surely there are more charitable uses of great wealth? Here’s one: help the aged and get Joe Biden to speak for you, as best he can. Steven Nelson of the New York Post revealed yesterday how the former president had been struggling to find takers for speaking engagements after leaving office. “CAA is having trouble booking gigs, which isn’t surprising,” a source told the Post.

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Who should have Elon’s next child?

From our US edition

The Wall Street Journal has published an eye-opening exposé on Elon Musk’s “harem drama,” diving into the relationships the world’s richest man has with his baby mamas – and the labyrinthine system by which he allegedly manages them. Musk is on a mission to help “seed the earth with more human beings of high intelligence,” per the Journal’s Dana Mattioli. The White House senior advisor has at least 14 children by four different mothers – though this number is thought to be higher. Conservative influencer Ashley St. Clair, one such mother, reveals how after being impregnated by Musk, he offered her “$15 million and $100,000 a month in support,” while encouraging them a “legion-level” of children “before the apocalypse.

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Meet CuomoGPT

From our US edition

Former governor uses AI to co-author housing plan If you were worried about disgraced former governor Andrew Cuomo being too “hands-on” during his run for New York mayor, fear not: the Love Gov’s campaign has an impersonal touch to it. Local news site Hell Gate exposed how the 29-page housing plan released by the Cuomo campaign bore the hallmarks of being partially put together using ChatGPT. One particularly unparsable passage: Nevertheless, several candidates for mayor this year have either called directly for a rent increase or for other measures that would tilt the scale toward lower rent increases. This is a politically convenient posture, but to be in. Victory if landlords — small landlords in particular — are simply unable to maintain their buildings.

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Did Douglas Murray break Joe Rogan?

From our US edition

Douglas Murray and the end of ‘historians’ ‘It’s pretty hard to listen to somebody who says, “I don’t know what I’m talking about but now I’m gonna talk”’ Who gets to call themselves an expert? That’s the big question featured in a bruising episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, in which Rogan hosts The Spectator’s Douglas Murray and the libertarian comedian Dave Smith. Murray accuses Rogan of opening “the door to quite a lot of people who’ve now got a big platform, who’ve been throwing out counter-historical stuff of a very dangerous kind.” The nearly three-hour-long program begins with Murray asking if Rogan feels that his show has been “tilted one way” in its guest selection: Dave Smith v.

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s foreign reporter crackdown

From our US edition

The British aren’t coming Congresswoman requires US ID to cover her panel Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene chaired a meeting of the House DoGE committee this morning, with the express purpose of cracking down on unused government buildings. “Federal agencies shouldn’t be maintaining empires at taxpayers’ expense,” she said in her opening statement. But Cockburn’s curiosity was piqued by the new wording at the bottom of her office’s media advisory ahead of the event, which specified that journalists seeking to cover it required American documentation: “Media and the public entering the building will need a valid U.S. passport or driver’s license and will need to be escorted to the auditorium.

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Top DC lobbyist loses Moms for America over adult film star date

From our US edition

MILFS for America Porn star date proves to be mother’s ruin for top DC lobbyist Marty Irby is one of DC’s top lobbyists, commended four times in the last six years by the Hill, largely for his work on animal wellbeing. But one client of his was less pleased with his choice of humans. Irby represented Moms for America, the conservative education nonprofit that gathered steam during the Covid pandemic. His taste in women proved to not be to their liking: he brought the adult film star Alexa Payne as his plus-one to a Moms for America gala at Mar-a-Lago last November. Payne, 28, starred in films including this year’s Stepmom Sex Ed 9, 2023’s Free Use Stepmom Vol.

marty irby dc lobbyist alexa payne porn

What to look for in Florida and Wisconsin’s elections tonight

From our US edition

Wisco inferno Billionaires and carpetbaggers dominate first elections of Trump’s second term Voters in Wisconsin and Florida head to the polls today, including one local election that’s set to break spending records for a race of its kind. In Wisconsin, the open race for the state’s Supreme Court takes top billing, as it will determine whether Democrat-backed judges keep their majority. The stakes are high and the spending reflects that; billionaires from both parties have poured tens of millions of dollars into the race. White House Senior Advisor Elon Musk hosted a GOTV rally during which he also doled out million-dollar checks to Wisconsin voters.

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