Bernie

‘I want us to have a big family – four, five, or maybe even six whippets!’

‘You wait ages for someone to throw under the bus and then three come along at once.’

‘Did you go anywhere special this Easter?’

Let me put it this way – if you have any Premium Bonds, draw them out now

‘Take me to your Trump-appointed leader.’

‘If you want your letter to arrive on time, you have to put it in a parcel.’

‘Honestly, some of the nonsense they expect you to fall for!’

From our US edition

‘The Tory party was much better when I was your age.’

Can we just forget all this

First floor

‘If it turns out you’ve been lying about Father Christmas, Mum, you’ll have to go.’

A relationship with someone you don’t know

You just can’t trust a Chancellor of the Exchequer

Glitter wrecking ball

‘Before you decide, remember where all the toys and goodies come from’

It’s not the most aspirational of slogans.

Autumn

My chatbot