‘You wait ages for someone to throw under the bus and then three come along at once.’
‘You wait ages for someone to throw under the bus and then three come along at once.’
Bernie
Wednesday
‘Good evening, I’m from the government’s “summer of sex” compliance office.’
‘Good evening, I’m from the government’s “summer of sex” compliance office.’
Wednesday
‘Did you go anywhere special this Easter?’
‘Did you go anywhere special this Easter?’
Tuesday
Let me put it this way – if you have any Premium Bonds, draw them out now
‘Let me put it this way – if you have any Premium Bonds, draw them out now.’
Wednesday
‘Take me to your Trump-appointed leader.’
‘Take me to your Trump-appointed leader.’
Wednesday
‘If you want your letter to arrive on time, you have to put it in a parcel.’
‘If you want your letter to arrive on time, you have to put it in a parcel.’
Thursday
‘Honestly, some of the nonsense they expect you to fall for!’
From our US edition
‘Honestly, some of the nonsense they expect you to fall for!’
Wednesday
‘The Tory party was much better when I was your age.’
‘The Tory party was much better when I was your age.’
Friday
Wednesday
‘If it turns out you’ve been lying about Father Christmas, Mum, you’ll have to go.’
‘If it turns out you’ve been lying about Father Christmas, Mum, you’ll have to go.’
Wednesday
You just can’t trust a Chancellor of the Exchequer
‘You just can’t trust a Chancellor of the Exchequer.’
Wednesday
Wednesday
‘Before you decide, remember where all the toys and goodies come from’
‘Before you decide, remember where all the toys and goodies come from’
‘A treble whisky please – I’m doing sober October.’
‘A treble whisky please – I’m doing sober October.’
Wednesday
It’s not the most aspirational of slogans.
‘It’s not the most aspirational of slogans.’
Wednesday
My chatbot
‘My chatbot wife doesn’t understand me.’
Wednesday
‘This is beginning to escalate.’
‘This is beginning to escalate.’
