Russia

The rule is simple: abroad, Americans are subject to the host country's laws and legal system, whether that be Great Britain or Russia. The Bill of Rights does not follow Americans to foreign countries, nor will the US government intervene with the host country on their behalf. Try and bring some weed into Japan, and if you're caught, you're looking at years behind bars. No matter if it's a small amount for personal use back home. In Japan, anything over about an ounce means you intended to sell it, and the punishment is accordingly lengthy. I should know: I spent seven years in Japan visiting American prisoners as part of my State Department job. The top three reasons for their arrests were drugs, drugs, and drugs. Just like Brittney Griner.

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s visit to Tehran last week brought attention to a growing partnership between Russia and Iran. The Russian shook hands with Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, a rare gesture since both men are notorious coronaphobes. The old cleric expressed support for the Russian invasion of Ukraine, while the old KGB man offered Iran supplies of grain. US intelligence even claims Iran will open its drone arsenals to Russia. This strange friendship has its limits, but its growth could spell trouble. History does not suggest this is a natural partnership. The list of grievances between Iran and Russia is long. Great powers are often rough with middle-power neighbors.

On February 24, Volodymyr Zelensky, the comedic actor-turned-president of Ukraine, addressed his countrymen at the same hour Russian missiles were landing in multiple Ukrainian cities simultaneously. Clad in olive garb and sporting a light stubble on his face, Zelensky promised his citizens victory for Ukraine and defeat for the Russians — and he implored the Russian people to protest the actions of their government in Moscow and St. Petersburg. As the war entered its sixth month this Sunday, Zelensky — this time dressed in a camouflage army uniform with a full beard — is just as defiant and sure of victory today as he was on that depressing February night. "Even the occupiers admit that we will win,” Zelensky boasted during his daily speech to the nation.

The State Department estimates that more than 3,000 Americans are imprisoned abroad, on grounds ranging from small amounts of marijuana to multiple murders. For all but a handful, the government explicitly states they cannot get you out of jail, tell a foreign court or government you're innocent, provide legal advice or represent you in court. The president certainly is not in the habit of making calls to the Russians telling them to please let you go, you didn't mean to have that vape cartridge of hash oil in your suitcase at Customs. The key to getting the full force of the United States government working for your release is to be "wrongfully detained," a qualification that applies to fewer than 40 out of those 3,000-some Americans locked up.

I sympathize with Brittney Griner. The WNBA star currently detained in Russia is arguably the face of her sport. This week Griner pleaded guilty in court to possession of hash oil upon her entry to Russia. She has been detained for several weeks now; her and her family have made several pleas to the Biden administration to step in and free her, which they should — without giving up notorious Russian arms dealers or criminals. (President Biden, meanwhile, has been remarkably lenient towards the Russian nationals who use illicit substances with his son — but that's a tale for another time.) The conflict in Ukraine and the Biden administration’s proxy war against Russia complicates this matter further — once again, Biden and his State Department find themselves in a jam.

Cockburn has rarely seen eye to eye with de-celebrated New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman. He's particularly irked over Friedman's habit of quoting conversations he's had with cab drivers, given that Cockburn never remembers his taxi rides the next morning. Yet today he can't help but think there's something to Friedman's pro-globalism parachute journalism after all. During the 1990s, Friedman became famous for touting what he called the Golden Arches Theory of Conflict Prevention. This held that "no two countries that both have a McDonald’s have ever fought a war against each other." The thinking behind this idea was simple: as American corporations expanded globally, as nations consolidated and opened up their markets, war became bad for business.

The recent retroactive registration of Christina Pushaw — Florida governor Ron DeSantis's press secretary — as a foreign agent has led to an ignorant backlash. A quick glance at any article on the story leaves readers thinking this is Cold War stuff, a "foreign agent" reaching all the way into the halls of Floridian power. The comments suggest that readers have lapped this up. “Trump + DeSantis = Russian money,” says one. “Trumpian Republicans have a fond affinity for Russians,” writes another, finishing with “such fools.” Clearly, they knew this sort of thing was going on all along: "The Kremlin have done it again!" they think, shaking their fists at the memory of the Russian interference which they've convinced themselves won Trump his election back in 2016.