Meghan markle

Trump launches TV war against Meatball Ron

From our US edition

Poll: Harry and Meghan’s record unpopularity Prince Harry has been ostracized this week after getting the boot from daddy. King Charles reportedly let his son and daughter-in-law know that they had to vacate their belongings from Frogmore Cottage with four chilling words, which were that the royal residence was now "needed for someone else.” Good job the whining pair have found sanctuary across the Pond, right? Wrong. Harry’s popularity in the US has sunk forty-eight points since December and his wife Meghan's has dropped forty points, giving them net approval ratings of minus ten for the duke and minus seventeen for the duchess, according to polling by Redfield & Wilton for Newsweek.

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Harry, Meghan and the rise and fall of the folie à deux

I was interested to read that the next Joker film has the subtitle ‘Folie à Deux’ – a lovely phrase not used enough these days. When shrinks talk about folie à deux (also known as Lasègue-Falret Syndrome, after the 19th-century French psychiatrists who discovered it) they mean a ‘shared delusional disorder’ in which symptoms of an irrational belief are transmitted from one individual to another – including folie en famille or folie à plusieurs ('madness of several’), sometimes leading to violence and even murder.

Meghan Markle’s ‘upset’ over South Park

Harry and Meghan have yet to publicly speak about last week’s episode of South Park, presumably because they don’t have the staff left to formulate a press release. But California sources claim that Meghan has spent the past few days 'upset and overwhelmed' about how she was portrayed. If you’ve read anything about Harry and Meghan over the past three years, you’d think the pair would be delighted with how South Park parodied them. The entire episode, titled 'The Worldwide Privacy Tour', gives them enough fodder to moan for a few more books… or Netflix documentaries… or Spotify podcasts. Meghan can cry about how she is a victim of misogyny and Harry can claim that this was all a narrative concocted by the big, bad press.

The Disneyfication of Prince Harry

After Prince Harry’s first date with the future Duchess of Sussex, he repaired to a friend’s house off the King’s Road. ‘Out came the tequila,’ he recalls in his much-discussed autobiography, Spare. ‘Out came the weed. We drank and smoked and watched… Inside Out.’ Meghan, however, interrupted his stoned reverie by Facetiming him, and immediately asked: ‘Are you watching cartoons?’ Harry replied: ‘No. I mean, yeah. It’s… Inside Out.’ It was, he recalls, ‘good weed, dude’. The quality of the Disney film, he doesn’t mention – though his pointed double use of ellipses around its title suggests it perhaps has some significance in relation to this new girlfriend.

Spotify logs losses and cuts jobs after splurging on Meghan

From our US edition

Being friends with Meghan Markle may cost you socially, but now it’s looking like it’ll ruin you financially as well. The streaming service Spotify has logged $230 million in losses, after the CEO has admitted to getting "carried away" with major investments in the past year. This includes Spotify’s lightbulb moment of throwing $18 million at Meghan and Harry for, checks notes, twelve hours of content, where Duchess Difficult invents more things to complain about. Prince Harry mustered up as much brain power as he could for the podcast, which saw him telling tennis star Serena Williams, “I like what you've done with your hair. It's a great vibe.” Enlightening, Haz.

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The art of the royal memoir

From our US edition

By the time you read this piece, Prince Harry’s autobiography Spare will have been published in the United States. The question of whether it’s any good will be decided swiftly by the newspaper and online literary critics, but we in the monthly magazine trade have, alas, been denied the opportunity to see it before our publication deadlines. Under normal circumstances, this would bode very badly indeed. As with films that are not screened for critics beforehand — “because we want the audience to discover the magic for themselves” — books that have very tight publication schedules and are embargoed to the hilt are usually seen as flops-in-prospect.

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Harry and William’s royal rumble

From our US edition

Britain has spoken. After extracts from Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare, were leaked to the Guardian, the overwhelming reaction to the book's explosive claims is "what kind of man wears a necklace?" Describing a confrontation at his London home in 2019, Harry says that his brother William called Meghan Markle “difficult,” “rude” and “abrasive,” which Harry calls a “parroting of the press narrative” about his American wife. Or maybe those were just the first three adjectives that sprung to mind about moaning Meg. Harry goes on to describe how William “grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and... knocked me to the floor.” Heroic Haz then writes that he gave his brother a glass of water and said: “Willy, I can’t speak to you when you’re like this.

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Prince Harry’s latest contradiction 

From our US edition

Prince Harry has bared his soul in explosive interviews for the publicity of his upcoming memoir, Spare. Just kidding. Naturally Humdrum Haz is droning on about the same obscure claims he and his wife have been recycling for the past two years. The evil "institution," the big bad press and the mystic royal "they," who seems to be a nonbinary Illuminati-like figure pulling the strings of the entire British Isles. This time, with ITV’s Tom Bradby, the Duke claimed, “I would like to get my father back. I would like to have my brother back.” Who could possibly imagine why King Charles and Prince William might want to keep Harry at arm's length? Anyone? "It never needed to be this way," the prince said. He wanted a family, not an institution!

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Coming soon: Meghan’s memoir?

And you thought we'd seen the last of them in 2022. The new year kicks off with some old score-settling: for next week will see the publication of Prince Harry's pithily-titled memoir Spare (or Going Spare, quips one royal insider). As the title suggests, the book is expected to focus on the fraternal frictions between the runaway royal and his brother William. Other topics covered include Harry's hatred of the press (quelle surprise) and his reflections on Diana's death. And, in a delicious irony, Harry will be forced to give multiple media interviews to promote the book. Sadly, he has ducked the chance for a no-holds-barred, sit-down grilling with one of Britain's popular papers like the Sun or the Mail on Sunday.

The top 10 Cockburns of 2022

From our US edition

2022 was another landmark year for DC’s most disheveled correspondent. He was outside the courthouse when Johnny Depp won his defamation suit, and outside the Supreme Court when Roe fell. He observed mourners for Queen Elizabeth in London, went to Congress with an NBA star, lifted the lid on the "toxic" work culture at the startup where Prince Harry "works," listened to too many episodes of his wife's podcast and debunked a flimsy hoax about Lauren Boebert. He quaffed his way through several Christmas parties, think-tank mixers, campaign fundraisers and conferences with national conservatives, Texas conservatives, libertarians and sexual deviants.

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A united royal Christmas… without Meghan and Harry

From our US edition

It was no surprise that Prince Harry and Meghan were absent from Britain's royal Christmas celebrations at Sandringham after their recent outbursts. Their Netflix documentary cemented what we already knew: there is no going back. Instead, the pair opted for a Californian Christmas. Away from the pomp and pageantry of the royal family’s traditions, the day was described as low-key, choosing to spend their days playing games like "pin the tail on the Catherine" and throwing darts at King Charles’s face. I’m kidding, they’re far too mature for that. In Britain, we saw a family in unity. Even Prince Andrew attended the Christmas Day church service at St. Mary Magdalene and, somehow, was received well by crowds.

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Princess Beatrice… the betrayer?

From our US edition

Their ranks may be dwindling, but Mr. and Mrs. Meghan Markle do have a few key supporters left on the other side of the Pond. What their fabulously rehearsed "fly-on-the-wall" documentary set in stone is who was gone for good: Wills and Kate. The poor Waleses were absolutely slandered. In fact, the only realistic thing about the whole show was the visceral hatred the Sussexes had for the pair. Harry despises his big brother almost as much as Jeremy Clarkson hates Meghan, and would certainly see him strung up in the streets, but of course, you can’t print that in Britain. Team Windsor may be pretty strong in numbers, but the "we-just-want-to-be-normal-but-don’t-you-dare-forget-the-title" team do have two major players: the Princesses of York.

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Ever wanted to buy Kyrsten Sinema’s old shoes?

From our US edition

Shopping Kyrsten Sinema style Kyrsten Sinema has been honing her independent streak during her time in Washington — a noted departure from the progressive activism of her youth. The Arizona senator who left the Democrats last week has filed paperwork to run as an Independent in 2024, a reflection of her state’s purple values. At the same time, Sinema seems to have developed quite an entrepreneurial side hustle. Slate’s Christina Cauterucci discovered that Congress’s most ostentatious dresser has been hawking old clothes on Facebook Marketplace. The user is currently hawking — among other things — a $215 cycling ensemble, a $25 trucker hat, and a $150 stainless steel watch with a silicone strap.

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Harry and Meghan’s great miscalculation

From our US edition

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a wrap. The last leg of Meghan and Harry’s docuseries aired Thursday, where we learned about institutionalized gaslighting, how terrified Harry is of big, bad Prince William and what Beyoncé thinks about the whole saga, obviously. The final three episodes, admittedly, were the bombshell some hoped for. Harry and Meghan’s usual approach of accusing nameless figures of terrible acts went out the window. Prince William was the villain, King Charles didn’t come off much better. Hell, they even threw in some sly digs at the late Queen. For many Brits, this is a cardinal sin. Apparently, we're done. All over. H tells us that finally: it’s time to move on.

Harry and Meghan’s expert: ‘never sell out’

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Afua Hirsch sells out Cockburn is reeling today after a heavy night, but it was the only thing he could do to make him forget the three hours of Whinge and Ginge that he had to watch at 3 a.m. The Harry & Meghan Netflix documentary wasn’t exactly enlightening: just a rehash of their previous groans of injustice. Although Meghan did go out of her way this time to make fun of Haz’s dear old granny, by doing an overexaggerated curtsy which made even her hapless husband look uncomfortable. https://twitter.com/chrisshipitv/status/1600845696751800321 There were new faces in the mix though, rather than the classic hagiographers. One of the journalists commentating was British journalist Afua Hirsch. Cockburn asked around... and it turns out that Hirsch isn’t exactly, er, well-liked.

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Meghan and Harry are exhausting the public patience

From our US edition

Tolerance for Meghan and Harry is wearing thin across the Pond. That’s saying something, because there was little tolerance to begin with. But after the latest trailer of their Netflix documentary was released online, even the staunchest Sussex fans are feeling fed up. However you feel about the pair, their latest theatrics have opened them up for criticism. The trailer, which has been drip-fed over the last week is, in true Sussex style, chock full of inaccuracies that they must deem the British public too stupid to notice. https://twitter.

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Which far-right pundit is a ‘twink Ernst Röhm?’

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Yeezy come, Yeezy go Kanye West has been permanently suspended from Twitter just one month after his account being locked. Elon Musk tweeted that Ye had “violated our rule against incitement to violence", after he posted a series of erratic tweets — including a symbol combining a swastika and a Jewish star. Now a London tattoo parlor is offering free removals for anyone with a Yeezy tattoo. They’ve nicknamed the campaign “Yeezy come, Yeezy go.” https://twitter.com/mattxiv/status/1598509785225347074?s=46&t=jeqhEGKEQaVSEdSE9A5F4Q Blind item: which far-right pundit is a ‘twink Ernst Röhm?’ Which virulently anti-homosexual far-right figure, who's recently been making headlines, doth protest too much?

Ernst Röhm

Thank God: Netflix releases Harry and Meghan doc trailer

From our US edition

Sorry for the delay: Cockburn has been busy bleaching his eyes after watching the trailer for Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s newest venture, a Netflix documentary on "their story." https://twitter.com/netflix/status/1598287753774477312 People magazine claimed, “It's Meghan Markle and Prince Harry like you've never seen them before,” which makes Cockburn question if the publication has had its eyes and ears shut for the last two years. The documentary series, which is composed of six episodes and will premiere in December, includes personal footage of the pair at their wedding reception, on a trip to Africa and while Meghan is pregnant. But what’s a Meghan and Harry venture without the doom? The trailer also includes footage of Meghan wiping away tears. Perfect timing!

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Meghan Markle: America’s laziest interviewer

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Remember Oprah Winfrey's bombshell "interview" with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry earlier this year, in which she stroked her subjects’ egos and failed to probe them on any of their hyperbolic claims? Well, Cockburn has found an even worse interviewer than Oprah: Meghan Markle. Listening to Archetypes, Meghan’s podcast about "dissecting labels," Cockburn found it a little weird that the guests never spoke over each other. You’d think that as the interviewees they’d try and get a word in edgeways through Meghan’s babbling. After labeling the show a "candid conversation" it seems the conversation is actually happening without Meghan. One of the podcast guests has revealed that she didn't actually speak to Meghan for the show in an Instagram post.

meghan markle podcast racism

Scoop: top GOP donors to meet in Miami in plot to stop Trump

From our US edition

Everybody hates Donald? An emergency gathering is set to be held in Miami next week to talk about “the Trump problem,” a source tells Cockburn. Steve Wynn and other big-shot GOP donors are said to want to “move on from Trump,” so are coming together to decide how to keep him from securing the 2024 nomination. The former president has been said to be in a “terrible mood” and “throwing regular tantrums” after the failure of his chosen candidates in the midterms. He is also facing mutiny from previously die-hard fans who adored him before Tuesday, such as: Candace Owens: "Trump needs to take a good look in the mirror and he needs to take a good look in the room, and he needs to read the room accurately.

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