Meghan markle

After over three years of incessant scheming, moaning and making specious accusations of racism against her in-laws, Meghan Markle’s PR team are insisting she has "moved on." In a statement press secretary Ashley Hansen claimed: “The Duchess of Sussex is going about her life in the present, not thinking about correspondence from two years ago related to conversations from four years ago. “Any suggestion otherwise is false and frankly ridiculous. We encourage tabloid media and various royal correspondents to stop the exhausting circus that they alone are creating.” It’s important to add here that the statement was first posted by the Sussexes’ personal cheerleader and royal reporter Omid Scobie.

Prince Harry will attend the coronation of his father, King Charles III next month alone, according to Buckingham Palace. Meghan Markle will stay in California with Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet. After months of speculation, with the sources claiming that the Sussexes "weren't sure" if they would attend after the latest fall out from Harry's bombshell memoir, Spare, it has now be announced that the prince will attend, but his wife, Meghan stay in California with their children, Buckingham Palace says. Critics have bashed the pair for not deciding quicker, after they were formally invited over one month ago. A source close to the family, who will attend the coronation said: "Her presence may not have been entirely welcome. It's more likely she would have been booed.

In a shocking twist after the last three years of Prince Harry’s perpetual victimhood tour, last night in a live therapy session the prince finally admitted what we’ve known all along: that he isn’t one. Back on the stage for a live streamed Q&A with toxic trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté, Harry claimed, “I definitely don't see myself as a victim.” You had to pay thirty bucks a head for the pleasure, but boy it was worth it to hear that. Victim, no. Narcissist, maybe. Later in the interview Harry said that sharing his experiences of his terrible life in his bombshell memoir Spare “feels like an act of service.” I’m sure his late grandmother would have different views on what a lifetime of service actually entails.

Britain has spoken. After extracts from Prince Harry’s memoir, Spare, were leaked to the Guardian, the overwhelming reaction to the book's explosive claims is "what kind of man wears a necklace?" Describing a confrontation at his London home in 2019, Harry says that his brother William called Meghan Markle “difficult,” “rude” and “abrasive,” which Harry calls a “parroting of the press narrative” about his American wife. Or maybe those were just the first three adjectives that sprung to mind about moaning Meg. Harry goes on to describe how William “grabbed me by the collar, ripping my necklace, and... knocked me to the floor.” Heroic Haz then writes that he gave his brother a glass of water and said: “Willy, I can’t speak to you when you’re like this.

Prince Harry has bared his soul in explosive interviews for the publicity of his upcoming memoir, Spare. Just kidding. Naturally Humdrum Haz is droning on about the same obscure claims he and his wife have been recycling for the past two years. The evil "institution," the big bad press and the mystic royal "they," who seems to be a nonbinary Illuminati-like figure pulling the strings of the entire British Isles. This time, with ITV’s Tom Bradby, the Duke claimed, “I would like to get my father back. I would like to have my brother back.” Who could possibly imagine why King Charles and Prince William might want to keep Harry at arm's length? Anyone? "It never needed to be this way," the prince said. He wanted a family, not an institution!

It was no surprise that Prince Harry and Meghan were absent from Britain's royal Christmas celebrations at Sandringham after their recent outbursts. Their Netflix documentary cemented what we already knew: there is no going back. Instead, the pair opted for a Californian Christmas. Away from the pomp and pageantry of the royal family’s traditions, the day was described as low-key, choosing to spend their days playing games like "pin the tail on the Catherine" and throwing darts at King Charles’s face. I’m kidding, they’re far too mature for that. In Britain, we saw a family in unity. Even Prince Andrew attended the Christmas Day church service at St. Mary Magdalene and, somehow, was received well by crowds.