Features

Wednesday

Celia Walden

Sarko’s voodoo doll hissy fit tells you everything

The French President’s strop is more eloquent than any policy or speech, says Celia Walden. He is a pint-sized de Gaulle regularly made to look a fool by his wife The truth, invariably, is in the detail. Theresa May’s leopard-print shoes, Jon Snow’s refusal to wear a poppy, Prince Andrew’s bedful of teddy bears, Nick Clegg’s arithmetic (he counted up the women all right but got the weekly pension wrong by two thirds, at 30 — wait for it — ‘quid’), and Catherine Zeta-Jones’s decision to take OK! to court ‘because they made it look as though all I did on my wedding day was eat’.

Saturday

Lloyd Evans

WEB EXCLUSIVE: debate report – “We were wrong to recognise Kosovo’s declaration of independence”

Motion: We were wrong to recognise Kosovo’s declaration of independence. Speakers For the motion Sir Ivor Roberts Misha Glenny Dragan Zupanjevac Against the motion Wolfgang Ischinger Paddy Ashdown Veton Surroi The voting tells the story. Before last Tuesday’s Kosovo debate most of the audience were unsure whether we were right to recognize Kosovo’s declaration of independence on February 17th 2008. BBC Balkans expert Alan Little introduced a ‘starry panel of commentators’ beginning with Sir Ivor Roberts, a former ambassador to Yugoslavia. Sir Ivor hoped that one day the people of the Balkans would ‘stop picking at the scabs of history – but the wounds are far too fresh for that.

Lloyd Evans

WEB EXCLUSIVE: Howard Jacobson discusses his novel ‘The Act of Love’ with Peter Florence

No Jews. No hint of Jewishness anywhere. That was Howard Jacobson’s instruction to himself when he sat down to write his new novel, The Act of Love. ‘I took the restriction very seriously,’ he told Peter Florence in a discussion for Intelligence Squared on 22nd October. ‘I nearly set about writing the book without using any word containing the letter “J”. Then I realised that “Howard Jacobson” would appear on the cover.’ Jewishness defines Jacobson. It provokes, exhilarates and exasperates him but he can’t escape it. ‘I failed anyway,’ he shrugs with ironic pride.

Tim Congdon

There is nothing magic about this Keynesian fad

Mr Brown’s bank recapitalisation exercise has been portrayed in the British media as a financial and political coup. The Financial Times has been particularly enthusiastic, describing it as ‘a global template’. Mr Brown’s admirers apparently believe that the British government’s programme is both intellectually original and a real-world success, and is therefore being copied in other leading nations. The truth is very different. The government’s policy is not intellectually original, it will not be fully implemented in practice and, to the extent that it is implemented, it will be a disaster. Further, no other country is copying Brown’s plan or behaving as vindictively as Britain towards its financial system.

Wednesday

Melissa Kite

Osborne stumbles: but is there a bigger story about Mandelson?

Melissa Kite says that the shadow chancellor should have known better than to cross the most brutal spin-doctor in Westminster, or flout the conventions of the super-rich. But we should not be distracted from the Business Secretary’s true role in this saga If George Osborne survives the spectacular fallout of his now notorious Corfu adventure he may want to review the way he spends his holidays. If a bespoke travel agent arranged his recent sojourn he should be asking for his money back, because sunshine breaks don’t come much more disastrous than this one. Not since John Fowles’s character Nicholas in The Magus has a man stepped on to a Greek island and got himself into such a surreal muddle.

Patrick Macaskie

To muzzle the short-seller is to muzzle free speech

The market needs speculators who are willing to challenge the big battalions, says Patrick Macaskie. Don’t believe the hype: short-sellers were not the villains of this financial crisis People everywhere have been grappling with what has befallen them. Like the closing stages of A Midsummer Night’s Dream we are waking from a reverie and human folly at its most extreme is being revealed. It is harder to see the happy ending but some things will be for the better. When I think of my children I will be glad to see sensible house prices and society getting a bit more serious and self-critical. But the adjustment will come at a huge cost to many people and whether anyone has a job or not may depend in part on how honest we are with ourselves in the ensuing weeks and months.

Bryan Forbes

The market crashes, but the gravy train rolls on

It is difficult to think of anything more depressing than the recent photographs of a smirking Lord Mandy in his ermine drag flanked by two of yesterday’s major groupies, Lord Falconer and Baroness Jay, she who gleefully masterminded the removal of the hereditary peers, but couldn’t resist a title for herself. At the very moment the PM was berating the bonus culture, his new friend, Lord Mandy, was looking forward to trousering some serious dosh from Brussels, and senior executives of our self-congratulatory, ratings-obsessed BBC were awarding themselves £318,000 extra for doing nothing discernibly advantageous for the licence payers. A gravy train still leaves every hour for the fortunate few.

Rod Liddle

What Harman calls a ‘distraction’, the rest of us call debate

It’s very difficult to get one’s head around the moral and ethical implications of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill on a damp and frowsy October afternoon after perhaps one too many stiffeners. I came away from my research with a vague notion that the Roman Catholic Church wishes to prevent scientists from experimenting on dead lesbians, but that the House of Commons is determined to let this iniquity go ahead and that some progressive left-wing MPs wish to proceed further and allow scientists to monkey around with lesbians who are not yet dead, regardless of whether they give their consent.

Venetia Thompson

Eat, drink and play bingo. Red or white?

Bingo is a game that I have never really seen the point of — despite recent advertising campaigns attempting to market it as the new raucous ‘girls’ night out’ of choice. It was thus with trepidation that I climbed Home House’s grand staircase and entered one of their private rooms along with 30 other guests for a game of wine bingo. I was swiftly handed a glass of something light and fizzy, thankfully, and all images of fat, single, middle-aged Gala-dwelling women and their legs-11 disappeared. It was only when I reached for what from a distance looked like a macadamia nut in a round basket, but was in fact a bingo ball, that I remembered that I was there to play a game, and that I probably needed glasses.

Saturday

James Forsyth

That was the campaign that was

James Forsyth on how the two candidates earned their party’s nominations and how the final stages of the campaign are playing out It was on the eve of the Iowa caucus, 2 January, that it became clear that Barack Obama’s candidacy was more than just a form of political entertainment. Obama’s last speaking engagement was in a high school gym in Des Moines. It was the hot ticket of a cold night. This was the best orator in a generation giving the most important speech of his political career so far; the youthful crowd were expecting quite a show. But the star attraction had lost his voice. When he tried to hit the rhetorical high notes, nothing came out. The crowd didn’t desert or turn on him, though. Instead, they chanted his iconic slogans, carrying him through.

Dan Gilgoff

Getting closer to God

Dan Gilgoff on how Barack Obama has narrowed the ‘God gap’ Virtually no political experts saw it coming, but religion was one of the biggest factors in George W. Bush’s 2004 election victory. Bush, who had used evangelical Christian language and championed a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage — a cause pushed by the Christian Right — won 78 per cent of the evangelical vote, a group comprising almost a quarter of the American electorate. Republican presidential candidates had won the evangelical vote ever since Jerry Falwell launched his Moral Majority in the late 1970s, but no presidential candidate on record had ever achieved this level of support. John Kerry, the first Catholic nominee for president since John F.

Michael Steinberger

A good election to lose

Michael Steinberger says a hefty defeat might be the best result for the Republicans Political parties exist to fight elections, and with the presidential campaign now in its climatic weeks, Republicans are gamely battling to keep the White House. Barack Obama has opened a large, possibly insurmountable lead over John McCain, whose every gambit, not least his choice of Sarah Palin as running mate, has failed amid the relentlessly dire news about the economy. But it is not just McCain who is facing possible humiliation on 4 November; the entire Republican party, weighed down by George Bush and beset with profound internal divisions, may be headed for electoral armageddon. As bleak as the party’s immediate prospects are, the long-term picture looks even worse.

The Spectator

The electoral map

States with their respective electoral college votes — 270 votes are needed to win Click here to download the map which featured in the US Election supplement. Nevada:This has been the fastest- growing state in the union since the second world war. McCain used to have a comfortable lead here but with almost half of voters saying that the economy is the most important issue, Obama has surged. McCain needs this state to come back into his column before election day. Colorado: The Rocky Mountain west is regarded as the emerging battleground of American politics. The Democrats cleverly decided to hold their convention in Denver, winning acres of positive local press coverage and since the convention, Obama has begun to pull away.

Erica Grieder

Campaign Diary

Erica Grieder follows the US Presidential campaign My favourite souvenir from the campaign season is a nine-page handout on ‘The Nature & Activity of Demons’. This was provided during a sort of adult Sunday school at John Hagee’s mega-church in San Antonio, Texas. Mike Huckabee, a former governor of Arkansas and Baptist pastor and candidate for the Republican nomination, was there for a guest-preaching stint, and gave a colourful explanation of why we should strive to be less like Herod and more like Jesus. It was sound advice, but perhaps not as immediate as the lesson that preceded it. Satan is engaged in guerrilla warfare: his minions systematically invade the populace, and infect us with their ideologies.

Reihan Salam

Not what we were expecting

Why have Barack Obama and John McCain run such drearily conventional campaigns? Hard though it is to remember those halcyon days, informed observers once believed that Obama and McCain would barnstorm the country together, flying on the same plane and taking part in Lincoln–Douglas-style debates over war and peace and the meaning of life itself. In fairness to both candidates, there has certainly been plenty of tactical innovation on both sides. Flush with money, the Obama campaign has embraced sophisticated technologies and management techniques. The McCain campaign has gone for death-defying stunts, up to and including the nomination of a largely unvetted unknown for vice president, that are far from dreary.

Rod Liddle

Ashley Cole deserved to be booed for all that he personifies

An important question of etiquette. Is it ever permissible to boo, barrack or hurl abuse at an English sportsman when he is representing his country in some battle against wily and devious foreigners? This is what happened to Ashley Cole, an England defender, who was playing at Wembley for his country against the might of Kazakhstan last week. ‘Booooo!’ the crowd went when he touched the ball. ‘Booooo!’ According to everybody after the game — and I mean everybody, apart from the English public — this was disgraceful, crass, boorish and unforgiveable behaviour.

Wednesday

Charles Leadbeater

As Brown poses as FDR, look ahead to a very new capitalism

Charles Leadbeater, the acclaimed innovator and new media analyst, predicts a transformed landscape: a new ‘networked’ capitalism in which the state plays a part but cannot pick winners — a system that is chastened, subdued and fraught with social danger We should be searching for a new kind of capitalism, and not just according to the far Left. That is the message from Washington dinner parties and in the pages of the Financial Times. For most people the next year will not feel like a search for a brave new economic model: it will be more like hand-to-hand combat to keep hold of what you have. Yet the world is being turned upside down not by wild-eyed revolutionaries but sober central bankers and civil servants.

Sir Les-Patterson

Diplomatic Notebook

I am an elder statesman, but I’m a versatile old bugger. In about a month’s time I’m hitting the boards in Austin, Texas as a support act for Dame Edna. She’s not a happy lady about it because we’ve never hit it off, or got it off for that matter, and she’s got this bee in her bonnet that the Seppos (Septic Tanks — Yanks) might find me a bit too forthright in the language department and I could end up as popular as a bastard on Father’s Day. I beg to differ. She can stick her opinions as far as I’m concerned, and I’ve got a gut feeling I’m going to turn up in America when they need a man with my positive outlook more than at any other time in their history.

James Delingpole

My real focus group scorned climate change

If you ever want to get in touch with the real world, try pretending to be a second world war GI. This is what I did the other weekend and it was quite an eye-opener. I don’t mean the stuff I learned about the correct procedure for debussing and advancing to contact from an armoured half-track — fascinating, obviously, though that was. I mean what I discovered about my fellow Living History re-enactors in the pub, afterwards, when we got on to the subject of impending ecological disaster. ‘Oh that? No, it’s a load of old bollocks that is,’ said my neighbour, and I did a double take.

Irwin Stelzer

Brown must stop sounding like a sore winner

‘I was born for this moment,’ Gordon Brown is said to have told a small group at a recent dinner party. The Prime Minister is too keen a student of history not to have known that he was parroting Winston Churchill’s famous remark on becoming Prime Minister in 1940, ‘I felt... that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and for this trial.’ Perhaps it was reasonable of him to contend that the current financial crisis is as dire a threat to the British way of life as Adolf Hitler, perhaps not. But why quibble? The Prime Minister is entitled to his bump in the polls, the new spring in his step: ‘a dour man rejuvenated by the gloom’, according to my Sunday Times colleagues.