Well, Andy Burnham’s commitment to devolution didn’t last long. It has failed to survive the mildest of challenges: a proposal by Westminster Council to discourage ‘vertical drinking’: i.e. people standing up while they are having a beer. It was enough to launch our beery prime minister into a frenzied Downing Street power grab. His spokesman, speaking in his absence as he takes a holiday after a fortnight in the job, reacted to Westminster’s plans by saying: ‘Busy pubs full of people talking to each other is not a public nuisance, it is British life, and it is thousands of jobs.’ Perversely, however, No. 10 has still tried to dress up its smothering of Westminster’s plans as a devolution measure by saying it is ‘devolving’ powers to London Mayor Sadiq Khan so he can block the proposals on its behalf. That’s Burnham-style devolution for you: the Prime Minister is going to send in his regional Labour commandant to squash your local Conservative-led council.
There are many causes over which I will go to the barricades to fight the ‘nanny state’, but sorry, vertical drinking isn’t one of them. For one thing, Westminster is not actually trying to ban anything. A Guardian headline describing Westminster’s plans using the word ‘ban’ was rapidly changed to acknowledge that Westminster merely wants to ‘limit’ standing. What the council has done is to launch a consultation on the redrafting of its licensing laws, which would in future favour premises with larger seating areas and less space around the bar. Under the changes, a ‘restaurant’ would be redefined as an establishment where alcohol could only be served to customers who were taking ‘substantial table meals’. Call it bureaucratic overreach if you like, but it is categorically not a ban on vertical drinking. There would remain plenty of pubs and bars where you could stand up to have a drink.
If only we could have a ban on vertical drinking on the pavement, though. Whether drinkers sit, stand or lie flat inside a pub is no business of mine, but I do rather resent the way pavements are colonised every early evening by armies of vertical drinkers, forcing pedestrians into the road. To me, a pavement is a fundamental part of London’s transport system: it is there to help people get about. We wouldn’t tolerate drinkers standing in the middle of the road, blocking the traffic, or spilling onto railway lines, preventing trains from running. Yet blocking the pavement is somehow part of our ‘culture’ and must be preserved. It is hardly as if drinkers need to stand on the pavement. I always assumed that if the crowds were spilling out onto the pavement then the pubs themselves must be heaving – until I went inside one and found it entirely empty save for a handful of people ordering at the bar. The tables and seating on the ground and upper floors were occupied by no-one.
That’s the problem with Westminster’s proposal: it would be ineffectual, and would possibly make conditions for pedestrians even worse. You can shrink the standing area inside a pub but that doesn’t on its own mean that drinkers are going to occupy the seats instead; on the contrary, they may be even more minded to slip out onto the pavement. Maybe Westminster could introduce clamping instead: where anyone found standing up on a pavement with a pint in their hand could be clamped and not released until they had coughed up a £120 fine.
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