I am in Dubai where we are doing our best to keep calm and carry on. Granted, the sudden instruction to ‘seek immediate shelter’ in the early hours of Sunday morning was unnerving, but with the exception of excitable ‘influencers’, few people are cowering in their basements. On Saturday evening, I’d hotfooted it to the Palm Jumeirah. When my kids told me the Fairmont hotel had been hit, I didn’t believe them. The idea that the mad mullahs would start lashing out in this direction seemed completely absurd. Though the Emiratis take a far dimmer view of Islamic extremism than our own craven British government, they are careful not to upset ‘brotherly’ neighbours. The UAE has prospered precisely because of this strategic restraint. Surely some mistake? As I headed to the Palm to see for myself, I took a frantic call from the UK-based father of a 25-year-old British lad who was unlucky enough to be right by the hotel when whatever it was struck. Along with other terrified tourists, he was hiding in an underground car park, imagining ‘bombs’ were raining down. I reassured them both. Outside the Fairmont, the authorities were shooing everyone away. I bumped into some bewildered blokes from Hampshire, who were on a stag do. It wasn’t quite the weekend they had planned.
Just what is it about Dubai that is so triggering for some folk, especially lefties? They can’t seem to understand why so many Brits would choose to live in a place where the sun shines all the time and there’s no risk of being randomly stabbed. A few weeks ago, I was walking along the Marina, when I saw a bank note on the pavement. Being British, I instinctively picked it up, before realising that hundreds of other passers-by had also spotted it and had not pocketed it. What to do with it? Clearly, ‘finders keepers’ is not a thing here. I decided to offer it to someone who looked like they were in a low-paid job. ‘I can’t take that – it’s not mine,’ the worker replied quietly. That is how much people respect the law – and other people’s property. I left it on a wall. Dubai’s snobby critics label it ‘fake’ and ‘hollow’ and claim it has ‘no culture’. Perhaps they’re just envious. If you can afford a nice place to live here – and it is expensive – the lifestyle is incredible.
Of course, it’s also in the heart of the Middle East. Every morning, when I open my curtains, I look across the Arabian Sea and know full well that Iran is on the other side. There has been much sneering from socialists about the ‘naivety’ of ‘tax exile’ Brits who thought nothing bad could ever happen here. What rubbish. Moving country isn’t easy and needs a fully informed decision. It’s always a calculated risk. Most of us know exactly where we are on the map. I love that my girls have to learn Arabic at school and are discovering so much about the geopolitics of this troubled region.
Speaking of teenagers, when that ‘take cover’ instruction came, we grabbed some essentials before heading for the basement. Our apartment is on the 42nd floor, with spectacular views, but the floor-to-ceiling glass windows aren’t designed for missiles. I took passports, cash, chocolate and water. Cool as a cucumber, the 15-year-old took her hair straighteners.
One thing Brits love about this place is the leadership, in the broadest sense of the word. Of course, it’s not a democracy, so those in charge can do what they want, but the vision and ability to make things happen is stunning. Sometimes I look across at the city and think: this whole gleaming metropolis was built in roughly the same time it took the UK to cobble together two aircraft carriers, neither of which reliably work.
Lib Dem leader Ed Davey is one of those who struggles to understand why so many Brits prefer not to donate 50 per cent plus of their hard-earned cash to this ghastly Labour government. In the UK, there’s so much sanctimony about tax. I’m not convinced it’s ‘patriotic’ for wealth creators to continue to bankroll scandalous and systematic abuse of public funds. In the Commons on Monday, our Ed had a go at me personally, which I thought was odd. As the Foreign Office makes plans to evacuate British citizens from Dubai, he thinks ‘tax exiles’ should be left to stew. Well, I’m not asking for a free lift, and neither is anyone else I know.
Schools are closed, but online education kicked in immediately. The transition was seamless. Even under attack, the authorities here are uber efficient. A friend is just back from walking the dog on Kite beach, the sun-drenched stretch of white sand where buff young men show off their abs and women in figure-hugging athleisure jog towards the Burj al Arab. People were sunbathing and swimming. This remarkable place is still very much alive.
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