The Airbnb help centre chatbot kept telling me that she understood how frustrating it must be for me to have all these problems created by Airbnb. But she offered no solution, save for congratulating me effusively on being a wonderful host. After a while I asked this person, allegedly a woman: ‘Are you real or is this AI?’ For the relentlessly upbeat drivel she was churning out bore no resemblance to the furious questions I was typing in.
I could have told her I was about to throw myself out of the window because of the rise in Airbnb’s fees and the redesign of their app that stops me from using it unless I buy a new £600 iPhone, and she would have replied: ‘Melissa, we know what a great job hosts like you do for guests! It’s superhosts like you, Melissa, who make Airbnb what it is!’
‘Yes, well, I’m going to kill myself now,’ I could have typed into the box. And she would have replied: ‘Thanks Melissa! Your passion and attention to detail is what makes Airbnb what it is! Is there anything else I can help you with today?’
This bizarre conversation started with me telling the help centre that because I could no longer use the app on my phone, I was having to struggle with their bafflingly bad website on my laptop and he, she or it replied in the chat box:‘Are you available for a call and screen-sharing session, so I can help you navigate the app?’
I replied that she wasn’t listening, I don’t have the app, that’s the problem. Furthermore, I told her, the website had suddenly made the price breakdown for each booking disappear. She told me to click on something that would show the fees, but it didn’t, so I gave up.
Later that evening, at 8.30, a generic message dropped into my email informing all hosts that the way Airbnb charges fees is changing. Instead of fees being paid by both guest and host, with the guest’s percentage shown to them at the checkout, Airbnb will now deduct an entire 15 per cent from the host, and this will be visible only to the host. The message advised us all, therefore, to increase our prices by 15 per cent from 22 June.
Clever, clever, I marvelled. When you book an Airbnb you will think there are no fees, but the price charged by the property has gone up, and you won’t realise it’s the multinational platform company that has privately directed them to do this.
Resuming my battle in the chat box the next morning, I asked about the fee change, and this is what I got back. I include the whole thing, with commentary, because I’m a big fan of statement analysis, and this is as near-perfect an example as you could get, in my view, of an attempt at deception betrayed in the use of language.
It begins: ‘I understand how frustrating this shift is, Melissa, especially when it feels like the platform is placing the burden of price transparency on your shoulders. It’s clear you’ve worked hard to keep your listings competitive.’
Note the word ‘shift’. It’s not a shift: it’s a seismic reversal that changes everything. Another guilty tell is ‘price transparency’. They know they’re being untransparent. They then quickly pay a fawning compliment, hoping to take your eye off.
It continues: ‘I want to clarify how this policy – specifically the Simplified Pricing (Host Only Fee) structure – aligns with our goals for the community and address your concerns about competitiveness.’ Note the use of the word ‘community’. They’re not in business, you see, they’re in outreach, working for the good of mankind. ‘Simplified Pricing’, capped up, is another tell, because they’re attempting to disguise the fact they are Unsimplifying Pricing.
‘Airbnb transitioned many regions to a Simplified Pricing model to remove surprises for guests…’
Note ‘transitioned’. The tech corporates love this word because it chimes with their diversity and inclusion nonsense. As for removing surprises, it’s installing surprises. Big surprises like price rises.
‘Our data shows that guests are much more likely to complete a booking when they see the total price upfront, rather than seeing a “Service Fee” added at the final check-out stage. Under this model, the entire service fee (typically 15 per cent) is deducted from the Host’s payout and Guests see a $0 service fee during checkout.’
The relentlessly upbeat drivel she was churning out bore no resemblance to the furious questions I was typing in
Random caps, like Donald Trump trying to explain his latest foray on Truth Social, show that they’re getting increasingly lost here. They’re trying to spin their way out of their alleged lack of fees being complete baloney. The sneaky sons of guns are getting 15 per cent out of the customer, while feigning innocence, by forcing the host properties to either charge it inclusive, or absorb it themselves. But let’s continue:
‘While it may feel like you are becoming uncompetitive by raising your rates to cover the 15 per cent…’ Oh, ya think? ‘… the goal of this rollout is to create a level playing field…’ Hilarious.
‘Over time, the market typically adjusts as other hosts realize their net payouts have changed…’
Now, this is dynamite. They’re admitting that for a while, maybe an entire season, maybe for ever, eagle-eyed people like me, who read the late-night email and put their room price up, won’t be able to compete with all the people who didn’t notice the email and didn’t put their price up.
‘We aim to make fee structures clear in the Hosting Dashboard. You can review the breakdown of any specific booking in your Earnings tab to see exactly how the 15 per cent was calculated.’
No I can’t. Because they took the app from me and countless others who don’t have the latest iPhone and the website doesn’t readily display this information any more. I wonder why?
‘We recognize that sudden changes to your bottom line are stressful.’ Yeah, you realise it, and you did it. But there endeth the gobbledegook.
The bottom line was the bottom line. So I put my prices up 15 per cent for ‘West Cork country house stay’, and became just €10 cheaper than a luxury spa hotel.
Obviously, I have not had a single booking since I raised the price thus, although I have had one cancellation. Why, it’s almost as if I’ll have to drop the price down again and take less money. But I don’t need to send another message to the help team to tell them this. Because of course Airbnb know full well. They knew it all along.
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