Q. I work at a magazine and am occasionally (and perhaps with increasing frequency) sent articles that strike me as having been written by AI, or at least with significant help from AI. They are often almost too polished and are fluent but lack much personality. What is the best way to determine whether this might be the case without offending the author if it is not? There is software that says it can spot the hand of AI, but I’m not sure it is very effective.
– L.C.P., London SW1
A. University students may soon have to write essays under human supervision. By the same token, you might tell suspect writers that they must in future look you in the eye as they read their submission aloud over Zoom, with an AI detection filter in place. They will soon learn to use their own brain.
Q. My former flatmate has become engaged to someone she met while working abroad. The couple are imminently flying back to the UK. The man she refers to, unironically, as her ‘beau’ is – judging by online images – the opposite. She and I have always talked about men’s looks since we first met at school, and she knows me very well, so I can’t be dishonest when she asks me if I agree that he is ‘dishy’. Is there a way in which I can say, without being hurtful or patronising, ‘frankly he is a shocker to look at but I’m happy for you’?
– Name and address withheld
A. Pre-empt her asking your opinion of the beau’s looks in the first place by eagerly volunteering, within seconds of meeting him, the (probably truthful) observation: ‘He’s SO much more handsome in real life than he is online.’
Q. At this time of year we usually have a houseful of guests, many self-invited, staying for a history festival nearby. We enjoy the talks ourselves, but back at our house I like to be left alone in the kitchen to get lunch/supper ready. I am very happy doing all the work for this myself, but, even though my husband tries to keep everyone happy in the drawing room, visitors invariably wander into the kitchen and want to chat. I find this off-putting as I can’t chat and cook at the same time. What is a polite but firm way to send them away?
– S.S., Broad Chalke, Wiltshire
A. Did you know it was possible to fit a pop-up magnetic insect screen into a doorframe and that a multiplicity of these hideous contraptions are available from Temu for under £10? This would surely do the trick, as you could rig it and then pleasantly call from the other side: ‘Oh dear, it’s too difficult to get in from your side – but don’t worry. I’m perfectly happy in here!’
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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