Dear Mary: what should I do if I run into my ex on holiday?

Q. A woman I have known for many years and who helped look after my mother has just had her leg amputated. One Saturday this month, she is out of hospital and is throwing a late birthday party at her farm with a hog roast etc to celebrate. However, I have invited a schoolfriend to stay that weekend, and she has pancreatic cancer. Would it be very rude to go to the party for a short time? I have a charming, polite, gay man as my other house guest to keep my schoolfriend company.

– E.S., Sussex

A. Never underestimate the fun of spending unsupervised time in someone else’s house. Your guests would be delighted if you went out to a party. However, don’t be tempted to raise the topic of rival health conditions and which one trumps which. There could be no useful outcome. Just say you have to go out for a short time to honour a social obligation.

Q. I have been invited to revisit a small Greek island, but have heard that a former boyfriend, who has drunk too much, is now something of a bore. What should I do if I run into him in the market in the main square?

– S.M., London SW1

A. Wear a face mask and a large sun hat to the market. If he does recognise you, tell him to keep his distance as you are suffering from a new Covid variant.

Q. My husband is in the art world and loves going to museums and galleries, but taking children is always a penance. They get bored so quickly and only cheer up when it’s time to go to the gift shop. How do you make the experience more enjoyable?

– A.E., Pewsey, Wilts

A. Decide to study in detail no more than ten artworks, be they paintings, statues or ceramics. Don’t tell the children in advance that you are going to do this, but when it’s time to head to the gift shop, go straight to the postcard section and ask them to pick out any paintings or sculptures they remember from the gallery. This will undoubtedly bring out sibling competitiveness. The winner can be awarded with the obligatory pencil and rubber.

Q. Re. Vicks VapoRub (Dear Mary, 4 July): many years ago in Johannesburg, transporting a dozen or more thoroughbreds to a racecourse could be chaotic if fillies and pre-gelded males were placed in the same vehicle. It was quite usual for trainers to use VapoRub on the noses of the entires so they would not become restive from the smell of a filly among them.

– L.S., Chiang Mai, Thailand

A. Thank you for sharing this recollection.