Q. Mary, can you rule on an aspect of private jet etiquette? I have been invited to a house party in the west of Ireland –however my host has cautioned against my asking for a lift in the private jet of a couple on the guest list as he says it will ‘look like sponging’. It seems absurd for them not to give me a lift, given that we would be going from the same county at the same time. And presumably we have been invited to the same house party because we are likely to get on. I hardly know this couple, but they are Suffolk neighbours and I know their land address. How can I bring about an invitation to travel with them?
– H.K., Woodbridge, Suffolk
A. Unless you can engineer running into them and they offer, without your prompting, you should not lobby them. The reason people hire private planes – it will cost £8,000 to £12,000 to charter one from NetJets or VistaJet for this journey – is to avoid other travellers, to be masters of their own destiny and not to have to worry about someone else texting at the last minute saying: ‘Sorry I am nearly there I’m afraid the traffic has been awful.’ Or: ‘Will it matter that I’ve forgotten my passport?’ Having got the measure of you at the house party, they may well offer you a lift back, so why not buy a refundable ticket for your return journey?
Q. I attended a drinks party in a Gloucestershire garden at the weekend. At one point a speech was made, and when the applause began I could find nowhere to put down my glass. I had to resort to a rather inaudible slapping of the back of my hand. I noticed another man, in tweed, slapping his thigh. What is to be done in these situations?
– A.B., Brokenborough
A. Wedge your glass carefully between your feet. If you can’t balance to do this, ping your glass with your ring.
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers? For my best friend’s birthday I have bought an exquisite but very delicate piece of Wemyss Ware. There is no way I can entrust it to a courier company, but she can’t come to London to collect it any time between now and her birthday. I want her to know how much she means to me by giving a sense of occasion to her birthday at a time when she will, for various reasons, be alone in the country. And so we have agreed that on the morning I will open the wrapped parcel for her while she watches over Zoom so she has a bit of excitement. She can then collect the present when she is next in London.
– J.F., London SW12
A. How thoughtful of you to share this tip.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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