It is a part of the human lot that we lug about feelings of doubt, regret and guilt. We carry our sins about like suitcases. Well, okay, maybe not quite all of us. Contrary to both scripture and psychology, there are people who struggle under a quite different burden – the sheer moral goodness of their spotless souls. I’m talking, of course, about Labour MPs.
The insufferable moral superiority of Labour – and indeed many progressives of all stripes – can be very hard to digest for the vast remainder of flawed humanity. The shining ethical beacon that is Keir Starmer is almost too bright to behold with the mortal eye. This is a man whose list of stains – from appointing Peter Mandelson to sacking everybody in sight for his own mistakes – now stand exposed, to everybody except himself. But has this taken the gleam off his halo?
The shining ethical beacon that is Keir Starmer is almost too bright to behold with the mortal eye
No, he is still pointing the finger at other people’s moral failings. His St George’s Day sermon last week saw him chuntering, ‘I know what the flag of St George stands for. It stands for decency over division. Unity over hate. And a country where patriotism is measured by what you put in, not what hate you stir up. Those are the values I will always fight for.’
Now, if I’d been accused of the things Starmer is accused of, I’d expect to be struck by a bolt of lightning as these words left my mouth. But it simply never occurs to him that he might be guilty of the slightest mistake; and if it does, well, he can just apologise and move on, can’t he?
Because, for heaven’s sake, he is a member of the Labour party, and thus he can do no real wrong. When Boris Johnson was in a similar position, it was different, because he was one of The Bad People.
We have seen similar dazzling displays from other Labour figures rushing to his defence. Stephen Kinnock told GB News yesterday that there is ‘no comparison’ between Starmer’s travails and Partygate. An observer might agree – surely the Mandelson affair is more serious?
But no, different rules apply, because this is Labour. Back in 2021, Starmer was spotted doing pretty much exactly the same thing as Boris in the Beergate incident; but rules are only for nasty right-wingers to obey.
Back in the days of Leviticus, the sins of the community were transferred by a priest on to a particular animal, which was then led away into the desert. Labour today has a similar ritual, offloading all of their sins on to the Tories, or now increasingly Reform.
Last Friday saw the release of a party political broadcast from Labour, in which an actress equipped with what Charles Moore memorably described as ‘a left-wing face’, read out statements made by Reform candidates.
These include terrifying claims like the French health service working better than the NHS, London being ‘a third world shithole’, and about the bizarre overrepresentation of non-white actors in TV commercials. Halfway through the litany, the lady sits back and starts waving a pint of beer about. This is such a telling detail; the ad drips with class hatred. This is staggering from a faction that still, ludicrously, styles itself as being the party of working people.
Even more amusingly, Wes Streeting (‘I’ve never been so shocked and disgusted’), Chris Bryant and other MPs retweeted the ad with pearl-clutching commentary. Bryant said he was ‘spooked’ by it, giving off an air of Marie Antoinette. Has the Mandelson affair ‘spooked’ him in the same way?
But then, nothing seems to stick to Labour. They can be exposed doing rotten things, and the next moment they are back to addressing us from lofty peaks as if nothing had happened. They mean well, you see, unlike those nasty right-wingers.
So many times, following some Labour outrage, I’ve heard people say ‘well, Labour can hardly come it all high and mighty again after this’. Like ‘this surely has to be the end of woke’, this is hope springing eternal. Because Labour get knocked down and they get up again, like a Weeble or the Terminator. They brazen it all out, because at least they are not the horrible out group.
Progressives always get the benefit of the doubt. Different standards apply. Imagine if a Tory or Reform leader had appointed the equivalent of Peter Mandelson. Their feet wouldn’t have touched the ground.
I think perhaps all the parties should follow the example of Labour’s ad and produce videos where an actor reads out the dubious things their opponents have said. An ad like this focused on Labour could include such humdingers as Mandelson’s exchanges with Epstein – ‘No fun for Petey’ – or John McDonnell joking about lynching Esther McVey, or perhaps even St Wes Streeting fantasising about shoving the journalist Jan Moir under a train.
Still, that wouldn’t cause a ripple – because, you see, Labour are such nice, caring people.
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