One of the peachiest moments in a life of unrepentant tavern-dwelling was my introduction to P.J. Clarke’s on Third Avenue. Here was a bar from central casting – Billy Wilder mocked it up, after a fashion, in The Lost Weekend – and the dollop of cream on this peach was the jukebox.
P.J. Clarke’s was described to me by one regular as ‘a midtown saloon for the tasselled-loafer set’. It remains the glory of Manhattan, which will never run short of places to hang one’s hat. And its jukebox had plenty of hits, but not the obvious ones.
Americans love their jukeys. One of the most generous belonged to Sterch’s, in Oak Park, Chicago, where a couple of bucks bought a dozen plays. Chicago is a famous music town, so you didn’t struggle to find something decent. Sadly, Sterch’s closed two years ago. In another Chicago bar, on Rush Street, I came across ‘Dear Mr Fantasy’ by Traffic. We-ll!
Finding the unexpected disc is the joy of a proper jukey. Any bar can offer so-called ‘classics’ from an approved list, many of which leave you cold. ‘River Deep, Mountain High’ and ‘Nights in White Satin’ are particular bores. Even a song as fine as ‘God Only Knows’ can be tiresome in a pub setting.
However, should you come across Shirley Bassey’s version of ‘Something’ in a Viennese kneipe, or David Rose’s ‘The Stripper’ in the middle of Derbyshire, then you’re a lucky chap. Ella Fitzgerald’s superb ‘Midnight Sun’ always lit up the night at the old Lion’s Head in Greenwich Village.
Milano’s on Houston was a Manhattan favourite, with its narrow passage behind the bar-perchers, and slightly Bohemian atmosphere. When you did eventually reach the other end of the bar – ‘breathe in!’ – there was a terrific jukey, which featured, among other gems, ‘Storm in a Teacup’ by the Fortunes. Bubble-gum pop on the Lower East Side! On the Upper West Side was Dive 75, where the jukey made English visitors feel at home. ‘Bus Stop’, Graham Gouldman’s song for the Hollies, scrubs up nicely.
We used to have good jukeys in our land. They adorned pubs as surely as crates of Mackeson. But those bottles have gone, and so have the jukeys. Now we have canned music chosen by someone else, when the purpose of taverns, surely, is to acknowledge that – within reason – the customer is king. Corbieres, behind St Ann’s Square in Manchester, does its bit – ‘the best jukebox in the world’, apparently, featuring all those delightful Mancunians – but it is such an unprepossessing place that those who step through its underground portal swiftly step out again.
What makes a good selection? The songs should be familiar, of course, but not too familiar. They don’t all have to be from the hit parade but they should have passed the test of time, and drinkers should be happy to hear them more than once.
Finding the unexpected disc is the joy of a proper jukey
The Sixties will be the dominant decade, for obvious reasons, but we shouldn’t be scared of delving into the decades that came before, and hauling out a country-tinged number, or some big-band jazz. There should also be some surprises. ‘Charmaine’, in Mantovani’s soupy arrangement, didn’t make the cut this time, which is not to say it never will.
Some performers should be on all lists: Sinatra, Frankie Valli, the Four Tops. So here is a preliminary inventory of 20 discs that would enrich any jukebox. It is personal, as lists are, but I bought only one of these records. The other 19 selected themselves, and they’re all crackers.
‘Baby, Don’t Change Your Mind’: Gladys Knight and the Pips
‘Sittin’ in the Park’: Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames
‘Don’t Make Me Over’: Dionne Warwick
‘Get Down Tonight’: KC & the Sunshine Band
‘Wichita Lineman’: Glen Campbell
‘Goin’ Back’: Dusty Springfield
‘If I Were a Carpenter’: Four Tops
‘Daydream’: Duke Ellington, with Johnny Hodges
‘Summer Wind’: Frank Sinatra
‘Little Sister’: Ry Cooder
‘Oh Lonesome Me’: Don Gibson
‘Keep on Runnin’’: Spencer Davis Group
‘Street Life’: Roxy Music
‘We Can Work It Out’: the Beatles
‘Hurt So Good’: Susan Cadogan
‘There’s a Ghost in My House’: R Dean Taylor
‘You’re Ready Now’: Frankie Valli
‘Have You Ever Seen the Rain?’: Creedence Clearwater Revival
‘Moonglow’: Artie Shaw
‘Love Hurts’: Everly Brothers
Go on, pop-pickers. Beat that!
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