The Spectator

Portrait of the Week – 18 January 2003

From our US edition

Mr Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, said at a press conference: 'If there is a breach of the existing UN resolution I have no doubt at all that the right thing to do in those circumstances is disarm Saddam by force.' He also said: 'If there is a breach we would expect the United Nations to honour the undertakings that were given.' The Foreign Secretary and Chancellor of the Exchequer followed the same line in a sudden flurry of interviews. A policeman was stabbed to death and four others wounded after they arrested three men at Crumpsall, north Manchester, in connection with the discovery of traces of ricin poison in north London. In a related operation, police arrested five men and a woman in Bournemouth.

WHO, WHOM?

Looking at the wan, pathetic face of Pete Townshend, the rock musician arrested for possessing child pornography from the Internet, it is hard not to feel a smidgen of sympathy for him. He has not yet been convicted of any offence, and it may turn out that he has not committed one - but his reputation has been destroyed for ever. Over the next few weeks, we are going to see pictures of many more men peering sadly out of car windows as they are driven off for questioning by the police. More than 7,000 British men are on the list of individuals who have accessed child pornography sites on the Internet. That list was passed on to British authorities by the FBI.

Portrait of the Week – 11 January 2003

The aircraft-carrier Ark Royal set sail for the Gulf and 1,500 reservists were called up. Mr Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, said in a speech to a conference of more than 100 British ambassadors that Britain should remain the closest ally of the United States. 'The price of British influence is not, as some would have it, that we have, obediently, to do what the US asks,' he said. 'But the price of influence is that we do not leave the US to face the tricky issues alone.' He thought that the United States should listen to opinions on the Middle East, global poverty, global warming and the United Nations.

JAIL IS NOT THE ANSWER

David Blunkett has once again shown his unfailing instinct for making a bad situation worse. His declaration, after the shooting dead of two young women in Birmingham, that the courts will be told to sentence anyone caught with an illegal firearm to at least five years in jail, was typical of the Home Secretary's ill-considered desire to sound tough. Like many a loudmouth before him, he has compromised himself by uttering boasts he is quite unable to keep. It takes only a moment's thought to realise that there are some instances in which a person found in possession of an illegal firearm would deserve nothing like five years in jail.

Portrait of the Week – 4 January 2003

From our US edition

A third of families entitled to working family tax credits are not claiming them; 604,000 low-income families are missing out on £1.4 billion, an average of £42 a week each. The Tories are looking for ways to cut taxes, according to Mr Howard Flight, the shadow chief secretary to the Treasury; 'It could be up to 20 per cent,' he said. Mr Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, and his family returned to Sharm el Sheikh, in Egypt, for an end-of-year holiday; they are paying for the holiday instead of letting the Egyptian government do so, as it did last year. There was an argument about who should decide if the England cricket team should play in Zimbabwe.

Scientific Underworld

Those who mistrust the new biotechnology have always argued that if it is technologically possible to do something, sooner or later it will be done. As far as the fundamentals of human existence are concerned, the Promethean bargain is a bad one. It is not necessary to deny the potential benefits to humanity of the new biotechnology to be deeply disturbed by the claim of Brigitte Boisselier to have successfully cloned a human being for the first time. This is not because she is associated with a bizarre sect called the Raelians, which believes that humans were created by extraterrestrial aliens.

Portrait of the Week – 28 December 2002

January. Twelve countries of the European Union adopted the euro as their common currency. Lord Birt was asked by Mr Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, to draw up a report on transport. Rail fares went up and drivers went on strike. Connex South-East found it could get more passengers on trains by abolishing lavatories. Peggy Lee, the singer, died, aged 81. America flew al-Qa'eda and Taleban prisoners to a camp at Guantanamo Bay on the island of Cuba. India and Pakistan stood on the brink of war. A Home Office report found that in London (where 8 per cent are black) 70 per cent of mobile-telephone thefts were carried out by blacks. February.

MILK AND SYMPATHY

A Cambridge geography graduate in search of solitude was recently found starving to death in a hikers' bothy in the Scottish Highlands surrounded by KitKat wrappers. No one from the anti-globalisation lobby has yet blamed the manufacturer of KitKat bars, NestlZ, for causing her death, but perhaps that is just an oversight. NestlZ has been blamed for just about every world nutritional problem. Last week, the company was threatened with an international boycott of its products for daring to demand £3.7 million from the Ethiopian government, in compensation for assets seized by a Marxist government in 1975. 'This is absurd,' complained an Oxfam spokesman. 'This is not about legal rights, it is about moral rights. When 11 million people face famine, exceptions should be made.

Portrait of the Week – 14 December 2002

The purchase by Miss Cherie Booth, Mrs Tony Blair, for a total of just over half a million pounds of two flats in Bristol, one for her son Euan to use when attending university, set off a lively game of hunt the issue. Someone called Mr Peter Foster was found to have acted on her behalf in the deal, and he turned out to be a convicted conman, specialising in unreliable slimming remedies and awaiting deportation to Australia; he exchanged many emails with Mrs Blair, one of his saying: 'Your pleasure is my purpose'. The Prime Minister's spokesman had earlier denied Mr Foster's part in buying the flats. He is the boyfriend of Miss Carole Caplin, who, it emerged, as Mrs Blair's 'lifestyle guru' interested her in ridding herself of 'toxins' in a shower.

SPECTATORS FOR AFRICA

Most of the human catastrophes that have overtaken Africa since decolonisation have been the result of bad policy rather than of geographical disadvantages; and bad policy is the inevitable consequence of bad ideas. If there is one commodity in which Africa has not, alas, been lacking in the past 40 years, it is bad ideas. It follows that he who wishes Africa to free itself of the catastrophes that have plagued it ever since its First Dance of Freedom (to quote Lord Byron) might consider how to bring better ideas to the continent. To that general purpose, we make a humble appeal to our readers. In the spirit of Sir Bob Geldof, we urge them to think of Africa this Christmas. But we do not ask them to send cash, to be squandered by government and NGOs.

Portrait of the Week – 7 December 2002

The government announced that 700 health workers and servicemen would be vaccinated against smallpox, and that it was buying more vaccine so that the whole population could be vaccinated if necessary; the action was said by the Prime Minister's spokesman not to be in response to any specific threat. Mr David Blunkett, the Home Secretary, agreed with his French counterpart that Britain should take 1,000 Iraqis and 200 Afghans from the Sangatte Red Cross camp near Calais, which is to close on 30 December; the migrants began arriving immediately. The Fire Brigades Union cancelled an eight-day strike that was to have started last Wednesday, and their dispute was taken to the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service.

Speak for England

Dr Rowan Williams, who was this week ceremonially confirmed as Archbishop of Canterbury, becomes leader of a Church which is among the most mis-reported institutions in Britain. To judge from the press, one would think that the Church of England is obsessed by the issue of homosexuality, with women priests another vexatious issue, and has nothing much else to report apart from the odd vicar who absconds with someone else's wife, these capers and controversies all taking place against a background of headlong and inevitable decline.

Portrait of the Week – 30 November 2002

The Fire Brigades Union and employers' representatives agreed to a deal on a 16 per cent pay rise, in the early hours of the morning on which an eight-day strike was to begin. But the office of Mr John Prescott, the Deputy Prime Minister, said nothing could be done till 9 a.m., and in any case, since no details were available on reformed working practices (called 'modernisation' by the government), no commitment to funding the deal could be given. So the strike went ahead and Mr Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, broadcast to the nation, saying, 'This is a strike they can't win. It would not be a defeat for the government, it would be a defeat for the country.' Mr Gordon Brown, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, in his autumn statement, said that he would have to borrow billions of pounds.

BROWN’S BLACK HOLE

Of the many personal mishaps to have afflicted ministers in the last Conservative government, few, ultimately, can have proved as damaging as the revelation that Norman Lamont had exceeded the credit limit on his Access card. No matter that most credit-card holders commit this oversight at some point, nor that the cheap cigarettes and fizz he was alleged to have bought in a seedy street in Paddington turned out to be a fantasy on the part of an off-licence manager. The point was that at the time the government was running a £51 billion overdraft. The link between the personal and the official was irresistible: how could a chancellor who was unable to look after the pennies in his own pocket be trusted with looking after the pounds in the Treasury?

Portrait of the Week – 23 November 2002

Three men of north African origin were arrested under the Terrorism Act, and some newspapers said that a plot to spread poison gas in the London Underground had been foiled. The government denied this was so; Mr Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, said: 'If there is a specific threat against a specific target, we of course will warn people.' The Fire Brigades Union held 'very constructive' talks with Mr John Prescott, the Deputy Prime Minister. But Mr Gordon Brown, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, said in the Commons: 'This is exactly the wrong time, with exactly the wrong claim, pursuing the wrong methods to demand wage rises so much higher than inflation.

Christmas Books II

Hugh Massingberd 'It is difficult', writes A. N. Wilson in The Victorians (Hutchinson, £25), 'for me to conceive of a more agreeable life than that of a Victorian country parson.' Reading his brilliantly panoramic, constantly stimulating and humanely wise portrait of an age and the characters who created it left me longing to have been one of the Reverend Wilson's parishioners - well, all right, the squire.

SET OXBRIDGE FREE

If the Institute of Economic Affairs has a branch in the heavens, the surrounding clouds must be disturbed by a loud wailing sound emanating from the soul of Sir Keith Joseph. If any man had a reason to cry out about the unfairness of life, it is he. Pilloried in the early 1980s for daring to suggest that students ought to pay their own way at university, his earthly reputation now has to suffer the indignity of witnessing a Labour government proposing the same; and of seeing the policy delivered by one of the National Union of Students' bearded tendency. Imagine the snorts of 'Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. Out! Out! Out!

Portrait of the Week – 16 November 2002

Mr Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, in a speech at the Lord Mayor's Banquet, said that 'hardly a day goes by without some new piece of intelligence coming via our security services about a threat to UK interests'; 'This is a new type of war, fought in a different way by different means,' he said. 'The dilemma is warning people without alarming them, taking preventive measures without destroying normal life.' The level of alert was raised at seaports; Mr David Osler, the industrial editor of Lloyd's List, said: 'The threat seems to have taken the shape of a lorry loaded with explosives.

Christmas Books I

Rupert Christiansen How embarrassing. The authors of the four books I have most relished this year - Nicola Shulman's elegant monograph A Rage for Rock Gardening (Short Books, £9.99), Virginia Nicholson's exuberant Among the Bohemians (Viking, £20), Giles Waterfield's brilliant satire The Hound in the Left-Hand Corner (Review, £14.99) and Selina Hastings' fascinating biography of Rosamond Lehmann (Chatto, £25) - are all friends of mine, and the etiquette of this exercise therefore inhibits me from nominating them.

LET TURKEY IN

Turkey has for centuries been a convenient European metaphor for all that is evil, but in truth there is very little that Turkey stands historically accused of which Europe has also not been guilty. Recently, however, M. Giscard d'Estaing - that great and principled defender of democracy, as the people of the Central African Republic and former empire will be the first to attest - saw fit to resort to the kind of language about Turkey that was straight out of the 17th century. M. Giscard d'Estaing is, in fact, the sick man of Europe. He resorted to the most flagrantly prejudiced rhetoric in his now notorious interview in Le Monde.