Hygiene
‘I’ll lick the spoon if you can produce a valid food hygiene certificate.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Coffin
‘He’s building his own coffin from Lego.’
Boris 2
‘They exiled him there when he went mad.’
Obese
‘Aren’t you worried you’ll make him obese?’
Garden 2
‘We insisted the garden designer devote an entire section to a play area.’
Mps
‘We produce some of the country’s finest Labour MPs.’
Dogs 3
Drone 3
‘Oh no! It’s the drone ranger.’
Rowling
‘Apparently he’s really J.K. Rowling.’
Trophy
‘I’m slightly embarrassed by that one — no skill involved; only road rage.’
Lowry 2
‘Who let this riff-raff in?’
Ofted
Bbc 5
‘This is the voice of what remains of the BBC, coming to you from a hidden bunker somewhere in the UK…’
Scalpel
‘We’re a scalpel missing.’
Locust
‘Of course I understand your concern about always being on your own — you’re a locust, after all.’
Meeting 2
‘I’ll be honest: we’ve never thought you were good enough for our Lucy.’
First Church
Speeding
Man Struck by Speeding Police Car
Portrait of the week | 18 July 2013
Home Jeremy Hunt, the Health Secretary, put into ‘special measures’ 11 hospitals among the 14 with the worst death rates examined in an inquiry by Professor Sir Bruce Keogh. Professor Sir Brian Jarman, a contributor to the report, said: ‘If you don’t have enough trained nurses, as with doctors, you get higher death rates.’ The
Leader: Ring-fencing the NHS is only making matters worse
According to popular wisdom on the left — and even among some in the Conservative party — this ought to have been a tough week for the government. On Monday, the new £26,000 cap on benefits came into effect and with it a new principle: that no one on welfare should receive more than the average working
