Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike
From our UK edition
Did Robert Halfon, the Tory MP for Harlow, get a new suit for Christmas? He was resplendent in this russet/chestnut suit at today's Education Questions. Had he not been wearing short hair, he would have passed for Ron Burgundy of Anchorman fame. Bold.
From our UK edition
The Chancellor is scaring the horses up in Brum with his ‘hard truths’ speech on the economy. Meanwhile, the troops in Westminster have that ‘back to school’ feeling. Mr Steerpike has been asking Conservative MPs, ranging from loyalists to rebels and from old timers to young scamps, for their New Year predictions. Many of the answers followed a similar theme. ‘UKIP will wipe the floor with everyone in the European elections, followed by a wide ranging ministerial reshuffle which doesn’t include me afterwards,’ said one noisy backbencher. This feeling was echoed by one junior government figure: ‘Big changes to Cabinet in early spring, poll lead by mid-year and minority Tory government by end of 2014.
From our UK edition
Ministers have spent the past 12 months in an almighty flap about how to stem a feared flood of Bulgarian and Romanian migrants once transitional controls on their freedom of movement lift. They've announced and re-announced measures on benefit tourism, housing and access to public services. But while they've been tinkering with these measures which may or may not make any difference to the number of people who do pitch up, they've managed to forget one very effective measure indeed. If only David Cameron had exclusively revealed to the worried press months ago that the best way of deterring an influx would be to deploy Home Affairs Committee chair Keith Vaz to personally patrol the UK border.
From our UK edition
After a seasonal interlude, rival Tories are back to doing what they do best: warring over the heart and soul of the party. In the cuddly corner, we have Bright Blue; a think tank of hoody-huggers who are imploring the PM to be nice to immigrants. The Guardian has been purring with approval since Bright Blue’s director Ryan Shorthouse ‘specifically called for the Tory Party to adopt a Liberal-Conservative manifesto for the election’: ‘At the moment, the messaging is quite negative and uninspiring – it's not enough to win voters and gain momentum. We need to be more inspiring and bigger picture than that and we need a positive vision, not just pandering to prejudice and uncertainty and anger. There has been a surge in Ukip, but you can't outdo Ukip.
From our UK edition
Tory Defence Minister Anna Soubry has never been famed for her delicate, flowery language. An MP recently complained to Mr Steerpike that he'd 'had to leave the smoking room after hearing her and Simon Burns banging on in there'. Today she took the smoking room language to Andrew Marr's sofa. After watching comedian Rory Bremner impersonate David Cameron, Ed Miliband and Nigel Farage, Soubry merrily chipped in that 'I always think he looks like somebody has put their finger up his bottom and he really rather likes it'.
From our UK edition
Sanctimonious Lib Dem deputy leader Simon Hughes has accepted a government job, despite having said that he would not. Speculation about who might replace him reached fever pitch last night at the annual Nick Clegg bash, which is always a night to remember. Insiders deride the job as ‘talking to bearded activists about hemp soup’. It’s among the more tedious posts in Westminster; but someone has to do it to keep the Lib Dem grass roots sweet. Tories and right-wing yellows are still sore that Nick Clegg sacked dishy West Country MP Jeremy Browne during the last reshuffle, and #TeamJezza soon gained traction.
From our UK edition
There has been much amusement in the last couple of days after Sophie Gadd, a student at the University of York, snapped a picture of Johann Baptist Lampi’s 1794 oil on canvas portrait of Catherine II the Great while visiting the Deutsches Historisches Museum in Berlin. Eagle-eyed Sophie pointed out the immediate and obvious similarities between the Empress of Russia and David Cameron. Her story traversed from the Twittersphere, and made into the pages of the Daily Mail and the Telegraph. But it does not end there. The Spectator can now reveal that the reason Catherine the Great and our Prime Minister look so similar is because they are related. Quite closely in fact — second cousins, nine generations removed.
From our UK edition
Home truths hurt the most when they come from your own side. Mr S was gabbing with a backbench Tory MP the other day, talking about how the Tories might connect with what the said MP described as '[those] parts of the public that we used to rely on in the Eighties and Nineties.' The MP said rather wearily that the party needed to speak 'in a way that those in our party who are only a trust fund failure away from having to work for a living, struggle to.' Ouch. Who could he have been talking about, I wonder?
From our UK edition
Boris may be under fire for his London bike scheme - what with soaring costs, declining use and Barclays cutting their sponsorship. But not everyone is so critical. The iconic blue bikes have achieved international fame, not least in Gambia. Probably tricky to find a docking station in the desert though. Via Oxfam Campaigns and Policy Director Ben Phillips.
From our UK edition
The campaigning backbench MP Robert Halfon was invited to say grace at the First Annual Margaret Thatcher Memorial Dinner at Churchill College, Cambridge on Saturday night. It's not often you get table thumping after a prayer: 'For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly grateful for the free market that keeps the price of food down and competition forever and ever. Amen.' Amen to that.
From our UK edition
Could Jeremy Paxman look any less enamoured with the new Newsnight setup? He stopped bothering to shave as soon as the new boss, Ian Katz, turned up, and an article in Prospect magazine examines the recent high-profile departures from the programme. It criticises Katz's 'Two Kims' approach to broadcasting, which he pioneered at the Guardian, and asks whether Newsnight is doomed as a sinking ship. 'For the past two decades successive BBC2 Controllers have reportedly dreamt of getting rid of Newsnight and freeing up the post-10.30pm slot to make way for long dramas, films or late-night shows which might have a different feel from the early evening blokey fare such as QI and Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
From our UK edition
The huge rift in the Home Affairs Select Committee was laid bare last week when Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger appeared before the committee to defend his decision to publish state secrets and to challenge criticism that he had endangered national security by doing so. Committee chairman Keith Vaz always enjoys being in the limelight. He took great pleasure in slapping down lawyer turned Tory MP Michael Ellis, who was getting very grumpy at proceedings and said that he would not let the hearing turn into ‘a Labour love in’. Vaz hit back later that day, saucily telling your humble correspondent that Ellis ‘just needs more sex’. When this was put to Ellis, the Tory said he that had the greatest respect for his chairman, ‘usually’.
From our UK edition
It's a shame that Adam Afriyie now seems to be a busted flush when it comes to his leadership ambitions. The Tory MP had succeeded not just in designating his fantasy cabinet, but also the lower ministerial ranks. Mr Steerpike hears that at the height of his plotting, he sidled up to fellow Conservative James Gray in a lift to tell him that his talents were not being appreciated by the Prime Minister. Then he added, comfortingly, that though he couldn't offer him a place in his Cabinet, he'd definitely be able to do something at Minister of State level. Gray did not want to give a comment to Mr Steerpike, but presumably he was delighted to have been considered at all by the great man.
From our UK edition
When the Pollard Report into the BBC Jimmy Savile abuse affair was published in December 2012, BBC Trust Chairman Lord Patten confidently told a press conference: 'As far as we’re concerned the report is an excellent account of what happened. We’re totally in support of the recommendations, and that as far as I am concerned is that.' But that has not been that. Readers will recall that Helen Boaden’s testimony, relating to a conversation that she had with Mark Thompson about the Newsnight investigation into Jimmy Savile, was omitted from the report. It should be noted that Mr Thompson has ‘slightly different recollections’ of this conversation than does Ms.
From our UK edition
Ed Miliband wanted agreement from the Prime Minister about MPs' pay today, but Mr Steerpike hears that the Labour leader is keen to strike agreement on another topic. After David Cameron revealed to the Spectator that he was a member of #TeamNigella, Labour sources whisper to Steerpike that Ed is 'definitely a member of #TeamNigella too'. So that just leaves Nick Clegg.
From our UK edition
Ed Balls, the Shadow Chancellor, gave an abortive performance in response to the Autumn Statement last week; he blamed his embarrassment on the cacophony of jeers from the Tory benches. You might have thought that Balls would lay low this week. Not a bit of it. There he was chanting 'Dave, Dave, Dave' and testing his new hand gesture, which is simply to point downwards. ‘He can dish it out but he can't take it,’ said the PM. Cameron is easily riled by Balls; but he went in for the kill this time: ‘I'll tell you what's going down: his career’. It wasn't a great line; but the fact that Ed Miliband was openly laughing at the gag should concern the dwindling forces in the Balls camp.
From our UK edition
Where were you when the world remembered Nelson Mandela? David Cameron, Barack Obama and Helle Thorning Schmidt will always be able to answer that question with their memorial service selfie, snapped in the FNB Stadium in Johannesburg today. Michelle Obama seemed oddly reluctant to join in.
From our UK edition
Those tortured souls who study the Kremlinology of Westminster think-tanks had some rare excitement last night. Out went Matthew Sinclair as the Chief Executive of the Taxpayers’ Alliance (TPA), the tax cutting campaigners, and up stepped Jonathan Isaby, once of the Telegraph and ConservativeHome, to replace him. Isaby was political director at the TPA. John O’Connell, who is fresh from the TPA’s successful lobbying campaign against fuel duty and beer taxes, becomes overall director. Matthew Elliott, the group’s founder, announced the news this morning.
From our UK edition
The Prime Minister is interviewed by Fraser Nelson in the Christmas treble issue of The Spectator, out on Thursday. After dutifully answering questions on tax, China and welfare he cut to the chase: at a time when the nation is divided between those backing Charles Saatchi and those backing his ex-wife, what's David Cameron's position? When asked "Are you on Team Nigella" he gave a straight answer: ‘I am. I’m a massive fan, I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting her a couple of times and she always strikes me as a very funny and warm person, but I’m also an amateur cook and I like like her recipes. Nancy [Cameron’s nine-year-old daughter] and I sometimes watch a bit of Nigella on telly. Not in court, I hasten to add.
From our UK edition
These are troubled times for Princess Michael of Kent. Austerity has hit Kensington Palace. ‘We’ve cut back dramatically,’ she tells the Times. ‘I mean we never go out to dinner unless we go to somebody’s house. We never go to restaurants. That’s too extravagant.’ It sounds just ghastly. And, I regret to say, that the princess travels in less style than she used to: ‘I love Easyjet. It’s the only direct route to Biarritz. We always fly tourist-class anyway in Europe.’ Although it may sound like the Baroness Marie Christine Anna Agnes Hedwig Ida is enduring Dickensian privations, she does say: ‘for long-haul, we go club.’ Phew! I was about to call for a whip-round.
