Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike
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TV pranksters Don't Panic accosted the prime minister, and presented him with a 'Bullingdon Year Book'. Watch how he reacts... a flash of gauche temper reminiscent of his predecessor.
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You know how it is. You've had a heavy night, everyone has left your party and empty bottles are all that remains. Then those pesky diary journalists start calling. Elizabeth Murdoch's husband Matthew Freud has 'clarified' that Cameron and Osborne were actually at his birthday party on Saturday, as described by Mr Steerpike yesterday. Initially, Mr Freud said that the PM had not attended. I can sympathise; I always forget when the Prime Minister and his Chancellor pop round for a knees-up.
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It was PR guru Matthew Freud's 50th birthday on Saturday: he and his wife, Elisabeth Murdoch, hosted a fairly lavish party. But would Westminster's finest attend? Guests were struck to see the Prime Minister and the Chancellor both in attendance, evidently quite happy to rejoin the social set that they have both kept clear of in recent years. Tony and Cherie Blair were also tripping the light fantastic. It was, after all, a Noah's Ark theme and they came in twos: PM and Osborne, Blairs, Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss. Perhaps the Chancellor is so confident that his pre-Budget report will be a festival of good news that he feels he can start partying again. After some initial confusion, Downing Street confirmed that Cameron attended the bash.
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All change over at High Street Ken this afternoon with the departure of Sebastian Shakespeare, who had edited the Evening Standard’s Londoner’s Diary for the better part of 20 years. Famed for his long-running feuds with Lord Archer, Ian McEwan and the Candy Brothers, Shakespeare once had manure dumped on his head as he sat in his soft-top BMW by a happy reader. Standard editor Sarah Sands thanked Shakespeare for serving the paper ‘brilliantly for many years’, and then announced the new line up: ‘I am delighted to announced that Joy Lodico is to become the new editor of Londoner’s Diary. Joy is a talented journalist of notable intelligence and wit who will take this signature column into its next incarnation. It is rather like Dr Who.
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Boy-band super-hero Harry Styles proclaimed on Twitter earlier today: ‘All social change comes from the passion of individuals.’ His shrieking fans were enthused by this insight. Some even asked if they could quote him in their exams. How sweet. Mr S is pleased to see little Harry channelling American anthropologist Margaret Mead. She is alleged to have said (although I can't discover where and when she said it), 'Never ever depend on governments or institutions to solve any major problems. All social change comes from the passion of individuals.' Clever lady, that. But what could all this philosophising from Styles, a self-confessed Labour supporter, mean? Mr S has a theory.
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Sky News made history today by broadcasting for the first time ever from inside the Court of Appeal, and Counsel for the Appellant looked familiar. Indeed, it was none other than Alexander Cameron QC, the Prime Minister's brother. Dave's florid face evidently runs in the family; but, while the PM is prone to getting rather shouty at the dispatch box (the so-called 'crimson tide'), Alexander was a model of composure before the bench. Perhaps he might give his little brother some lessons?
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Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Treasury. HMT has today announced the appointment of Sharon White, the current Director General over at Horseguards, as Second Permanent Secretary. Who she? Well, she's none other than the wife of Robert Chote, the chief of the Office of Budget Responsibility. The OBR was set up in 2010 by George Osborne to provide independent analysis and advice on Treasury policy. It is meant to be completely independent, so no pillow talk please.
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Readers will recall the sad demise of Tatler Alan, the cute pooch who came to a sticky end in a tragic accident involving the doors of Vogue House, where the magazine is based. Well, I am the bearer of happier news this time: the girls in pearls have a new canine recruit, Geoffrey, a puppy that seems just as sweet as his unlucky predecessor. So then. Happiness restored at last and a dark chapter in Bystander’s history closed. Just watch out for those revolving doors, Geoffrey.
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Former Foreign Secretary Jack Straw was on today’s Daily Politics, gushing with pride that his son Will is Labour’s prospective parliamentary candidate for the seat of Rossendale and Darwen in Lancashire. Yet it seems that this piece of dynastic info was news to Auntie. Will Straw was on the BBC News Channel this morning, discussing energy prices, and there was no mention of his being a PPC. The presenter simply said, ‘Will Straw is Associate Director of the centre-left think tank the Institute for Public Policy Research.’ Mr S would have forgiven the presenter had he not asked: ‘the Labour Party is talking about a freeze on energy prices for two years. Would you go along with that?
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'ello, 'ello, 'ello. What's all this, then? The Police Federation has been trying to distance itself from the three coppers who who were hauled before Parliament last week to explain why the secret recording of their meeting with former chief whip Andrew Mitchell bore little relation to their account of events. As PR Week puts it, 'While the federation has a duty to distribute the officers’ statements, it steered clear of endorsing their contents.' And, incidentally, beneath the officers' statement the federation included this line: 'The federation will not be offering facilities further than the above statement.
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The Tories promised they would fix the roof while the sun was shining. It seems they are keeping their word for once. Although this crane, which came crashing down into the roof of the Cabinet Office in last night's megastorm, means poor Nick Clegg can't hold his much-anticipated monthly press conference. The press lobby are all bereft: what will they find to fill the downpage 'meanwhile, Nick Clegg' slot?
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Is it the end of another yet another political eatery? Tory favourites Shepherd's, the Atrium and St Stephen’s Club in Westminster have shut up shop. Now the Gay Hussar, a famous Labour hangout in Soho, is up for auction. Not even the ample appetite of Charles Clarke, a regular, could keep the place afloat. The Hussar was the scene of much plotting over the years, and it is decorated with cartoons of Labour figures. As former Tribune editor Mark Seddon recommends: 'How about a diners' co-op?
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A delightful anecdote in Jonathan Aitken's new biography of Margaret Thatcher, which is out today. Visiting the French estate of the late Jimmy Goldsmith in 1997, with Denis and Bill and Biddy Cash, Lady T posed for a photograph in front of the giant statue of Lenin that resides in the woodland of Montjeu. ‘I just want to show him we won,’ declared the late PM. History is written by the victors.
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All London bus users are equal, but some are more equal than others. Especially if your name is Sir Peter Hendy. On his way to a meeting at the Houses of Parliament today, Mr Steerpike hears that Transport for London’s ‘Commissioner’ was so incensed that a bus had shut its doors and driven off before he could board that he spent the rest of his journey furiously reporting this outrage. From the comfort of a black cab. ‘What a little bastard grass’ my cabbie source said, pointing out Hendy went to great lengths to identify exactly which driver had upset him and demanding consequences. ‘Work at TfL do you?’ the taxi driver asked his fuming customer. ‘No, I run it’ came the curt reply.
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That London Mayor has some cheek. In today's Daily Mail, Boris suggests that our occasional diarist Pippa Middleton has wimped out of the ping-pong match she challenged him to in the Spectator earlier this year. 'We have offered dates', he says, 'she has chickened.' Au contraire, Boris. Here's what really happened. The Spectator hounded Boris's office to arrange the contest at our offices in 22 Old Queen Street, but Team Boris insisted that the match should be held at a venue of their choosing. Fine, said Pippa, who is a good a sport. Eventually a date was agreed — 12 September — but BJ pulled out. Fair enough, he's a busy man; the Spectator suggested that Team Boris propose another date, but things have gone very quiet at the City Hall end. So who's chicken, really?
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Is Boris trying to imitate David Cameron? The Mayor of London usually likes to leave the Prime Minister wriggling awkwardly by stealing any show going, but today Boris seemed to be taking a leaf out of his rival's book. Both men have recently fessed up to needing glasses, and at his select committee appearance today, the Mayor seemed to be emulating Cameron by awkwardly taking his new eyewear on and off throughout the session.
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Lord Patten, the Chairman of the BBC Trust, rarely looks thrilled when being scrutinised, but he was particularly grumpy in front of the Culture Media and Sport Select Committee today. He said sullenly that Rob Wilson, the tenacious Tory MP, has written to the BBC some 64 times in the past year with Savile-related questions. Wilson is famed in Westminster for his Watsonian commitment to letter-writing and truth-seeking, so Patten's jibe fell flat. Meanwhile, Patten was unable to answer questions regarding the continuing mystery over why key evidence about ex-BBC Director General Mark Thompson was excluded from Nick Pollard's £3 million review of the BBC's handling of the Savile affair.
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Sir Brian Leveson, who has ascended from his inquiry podium to President of the Queen’s Bench Division and Chairman of the Sentencing Council, seems to be getting a taste for public appearances. Last week he frustratingly stonewalled two parliamentary committees who had the temerity to ask for some post-publication thoughts on his report into the press, saying 'I am a serving judge. It would be absolutely inappropriate for me to come back into the question of my report or regulation of the Press.' A parliamentarian, Philip Davies, called him a ‘berk’ in consequence. Mr S has heard a few of the good judge's learned friends express a similar view over the years.
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It has been an eventful afternoon at the Western Mail and South Wales Echo. As seen in the screen grab above, Wales Online, the papers' online variant, reported (and tweeted) that the Prime Minister resigned at 16:33 today. It was a 'shock' resignation and the government was 'rocked' by the news, apparently. As you'd expect for such breaking news, the piece quickly garnered traffic from Facebook and Twitter. But, Cameroons will be relieved to hear, it was only a test: Apologies to anyone who saw that unfortunately published article just now - a training exercise never intended to see the light of day.
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Among the more bizarre parts of Natalie Rowe’s Chief Whip, of which Mr S wrote earlier, is her alleged encounter with Marvin Gaye. The scribbling dominatrix even claims that she sang a duet with the deceased singer while they were on their way to buy cocaine at six in the morning: ‘As we walked an idea hit me. “Marvin?” “Yeah.” “Could we sing a duet?” “Sure. What do you want to sing?” “You Are Everything.” I cleared my throat and started to sing and he sang back. It had been a long night and our throats weren’t at their freshest but, as he held my hand as we sang in the summer dawn, I thought this had to be one of the most serene moments of my life.